


Lead (the Soldiers Home)

by selinawrites



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Happy Ending, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Road Trips, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn, Summer, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-06-25 11:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 54,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selinawrites/pseuds/selinawrites
Summary: Earth is bright and sunny and smells like redemption. As the Voltron team goes on a nation wide hunt for parts needed to rebuild the Castle of Lions on a road trip straight out of a nineties romcom, Keith and Lance discover the fundamentals of who they are. They discover the ways of the world.Original Summary: Team Voltron returns to Earth, and the Galra never came. It's summertime, and the characters of Voltron step into their respective storylines they deserve and fall in love slowly and justifiably.The story where Lance and Keith get the story they deserve, and Adam never died.





	1. How it starts/How it ends

**Author's Note:**

> note written one day after season 8 premiered:  
> the note below is still true. i am hurt and distraught and still in pain even now. this is the very end, and allura deserved better. shiro deserved better. keith and lance deserved better. they all deserved better. this is a fix-it fic. hello to the new readers who just found it. i hope that my words can heal your heart.
> 
> note written one day after season 7 premiered:  
> to those who read this fic: i am alongside you. i am hurt and distraught and in pain. i feel robbed and baited and i was promised representation when i feel discriminated instead. instead of spreading hate, i spread love. in this work i'm going to channel all the betrayal i felt from this season and channel it into my writing. i hope you enjoy.  
> this fic takes place seconds after 7x06 - "the journey within"

Pidge had an uneasy feeling in her stomach that sat there since they escaped from being stranded in space. She wasn’t sure that they were going _home_ , they were truly going home. She felt nauseous at the fact that she led her and her friends straight into that hologram space monster that mimicked Earth. She wanted to be home, so badly and here she was. As Keith said before, everything in their lives was just one crazy twist of fate. She was going to crawl in her nice warm bed and type on her familiar laptop and code that video game that had been sitting on her desktop for so long. When she was bored in space she coded it in her mind. Pidge had tried before to recode it on the Altean computers, but they were never the same.

 

Lance felt his stomach turn like a knife twist in his gut. There was something unspeakable, something unforsaken about going back to Earth. Going back _home_. He maneuvered the Red Lion around the moons of Jupiter, as if he was just turning the corner walking home from his neighbourhood convenience store. When they got back to Earth, they weren’t sure what would happen next. There was a vacancy in the Galra empire, but there were no more planets that were being occupied or met with hostility. It was a treacherous ceasefire, but it gave them breathing room. He dreamt of Marco and Luis and his sister Veronica. He dreamt of their sleepy town in Cuba. Lance missed it all so much.

 

Keith knew exactly what he would do when he got back to the Garrison. He would go to his shack in the middle of the desert and would ride his dirt bike up and down the desert mountains. When he closed his eyes in space, exploring the unknown, he dreamed of the familiar. He dreamed of the prickly desert heat. He dreamt of the Garrison, no matter how bitter his memories were. He was half Galra, but Earth would always be his home. He dreamt of flying those rudimentary space crafts and flying circles around his class. Most of all, he dreamt of flying. Keith always dreamt of flying away from Earth, but now he dreamt of flying on Earth. He made a silent promise to himself that if he was ever given a second chance at life he would have liked to be a commercial airline pilot.

 

Hunk was waiting for home. He was waiting for his mother to cook him the same familiar foods he had always known and loved. He wanted to go back to his big family and spend the rest of his days while the Castle got repaired lying down under a palm tree. He was exhausted from all the work, but it also invigorated him. It inspired Hunk to do better in everything he did and it pushed him to new heights. He was worn out from all those months away from home, but after a brief break that Hunk sorely needed he would be back to making improvements to the Castle in no time. While they were marooned in space with just each other Hunk figured out how to reverse the Altean pool so they could go swimming.

 

Adam. _Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam._ Shiro was thinking of Adam. He tried not to let Keith or the other passengers in on his weaknesses. Keith may be the official leader of Voltron now, but Shiro still had to stay strong for the team. He fantasized about going back to their lofty apartment and sharing coffee in the morning. It was all so normal and all so mundane, but Shiro craved it. He wanted a life of relaxation. He wanted a life with Adam. Words couldn’t even explain how desperate Shiro was for Adam to forgive him. He wanted redemption, and he knew there were worse serpents in the garden than his own self.

 

They were nearing Earth. It was so blue, and so _green_. It was teeming with life and it felt beautiful and jubilant and vibrant. Their planet looked so young and healthy and alive that even the Alteans pressed their faces against the glass of the lions and tried to take in every single inch of their beautiful planet. After everything the team had been through even in the last week alone, from the battle with the druid to the fight with Lotor’s former Galra generals, they wanted a breather.

They wanted to go _home._

 

Pidge was low on sleep, as was everybody. She had set team Voltron’s trajectories to land on the Garrison landing strip, but Pidge must have miscalculated and forgot to carry a number over and they found themselves wandering aimlessly over California. From even up high in the sky as they were, the Paladins made use of their advanced technology to zoom in on the crowd and saw all of them holding up their phone cameras. Over the intercom, Allura heard Keith groan.

“Something wrong, Keith?” Allura asked.

“I just wanted to fly in unnoticed. I didn’t want to attract any attention in case the public didn’t know what happened in Kerberos or something.” Keith muttered softly.

Lance winked and struck a pose. Everyone groaned over the communicators, but all in good taste as they laughed along with Lance and not at him. “Ignore Keith, Princess. He’s just not used to being in the limelight like I am.” He teased.

Keith laughed, and it felt like things could be totally normal if just there weren’t so many uncertainties laying ahead in their future.

* * *

 

The Garrison looked different from when Shiro saw it last. He remembers it having a more flat layout and it being way less fortified than it was now. He could hear Pidge’s radioes to her father, Sam Holt earlier today.

 

Pidge sounded like the fifteen year old girl she truly was. She sounded young and full of hope, and her voice didn’t crack out of desperation and her lips didn’t go pale from torture by asphyxiation. “Dad? Dad! It’s me, Katie!” She said, as the rest of the team looked on with joy.

“Katie?” Sam replied. The voice on the other end was muffled and slightly distorted, but there was no question that on the other end was Sam Holt, the man that Shiro fought valiantly beside for years. “Katie! The Garrison has prepared protocol for your arrival. Proceed to the main landing strip.”

Pidge gave a terse nod, despite her father not being able to see it. She went back to the girl hardened by war and faithfully following orders. “On it. I’ll see you in three hours.” She said, waving her hand and herding the lions towards her. “On my count, team! Follow me _home._ ”

 

Despite their detour earlier, the Paladins made it back just in time. They had scores of people crowded around the lions at their landing, and it felt slightly overwhelming. Hunk felt queasy as he looked at a small cluster of news reporters on touchdown. “You alright, Hunk?” Lance asked, as his face popped up on the screen.

Hunk gave a feeble nod. “Never better.” He said, feeling instant relief when he saw his bustling family practically clawing at the Yellow Lion’s feet.

Lance smiled at Hunk before cutting connections and opening the hatch to Red. “Alright. I know reporters and a bunch of government agents can be a little uncomfortable, so just let me know if you need anything.”

Hunk nodded. “Thanks Lance.” He replied, as he heard the sounds of the other lions and their door hatches opening.

He cut the connection and slammed the big red button to open the yawning mouth of the Yellow Lion. Hunk had been inside the belly of a goddamn Weblum before, so why did he feel so sick to his stomach right now?

 

On the other hand, Keith felt like bouncing up and down. Upon arrival he had seen so many new advancements and weaponry that he’d love to test. He knew already that Altean technology was so much more advanced, but he was excited to know that there were new advancements happening every day on Earth. If Iverson would accept the half-assed apology Keith was crafting in his mind, he would like to try out the new shiny orange blasters first.

He pressed the red button to open the mouth of the black lion, and the first thing he hears is laughter. Keith expects to hear a million camera shutters or maybe even a trillion people swarming him in hazmat suits like they did with Shiro, but instead Keith sees Lance sprint out of the Red lion and pick up three small children while enveloping three other people in a giant hug. Keith had been trapped in space with Lance for so long, and he had gotten to see the good and bad in Lance but he had never seen Lance smile this wide with anyone before. There was a soft pull in Keith’s soul, the very tingling notion of sadness and realisation that he would never have anything like what Lance had.

Keith turned around to see Colleen Holt and Sam Holt lifting up Pidge in the air and tossing her up and down, as her giggles floated in the air. He could feel Pidge’s laughter, as if they were bubbles created from a bubble wand. They bubbled and bubbled and just would not pop.  He looked to the side and saw Hunk with a little kid that looked exactly like him riding his back. Hunk was talking in an engaging way, and he looked happy and alive.

 

Keith nearly jumped when he felt Shiro slap his hand on Keith’s back. “It’s okay to feel sad that you don’t have any family, you know. I felt that way too when I first started living in Garrison perimeters full time.” He said.

Keith frowned. “It’s different.” He said, but he looked up at Shiro and saw Shiro trying really hard to make Keith feel better. In an atmosphere such as this, it was hard to stay mad at someone. Instead, Keith tried to smile and looked at Shiro. “I have my mom. And I have you. You’re like a brother to me, Shiro. Adam is, too.”

The word _Adam_ seemed to make Shiro recoil and smile fondly. Keith saw how Shiro was not so subtly staring at the Garrison officer at the back of the crowd. “Tell Adam I’ll talk to him later, okay?” Keith said, looking at Shiro and chuckling to himself.

 

Despite the very obvious aura of not feeling like he belonged, Keith felt unbearably insensitive as the three Alteans stepped out of the Blue Lion tentatively. Keith had never seen Allura like this, afraid and not so cocksure of herself as she usually did. Allura looked like a wounded animal, surrounded by things so familiar to others but foreign to her.

“It’s okay. They’re not all staring at you.” Keith joked, sidling up to Allura.

Allura huffed. “Yes, they are.” She said, her pupils following the throng of news reporters and family members trying to discreetly snap pictures of the aliens. Keith just laughed, lightening the mood. Allura felt better, but still on edge.

 

Romelle looked at everything with wide eyes. “Is he all related to those people?” Romelle asked, pointing a thin finger at Lance who was swarmed with extended family.

Keith shrugged. “I guess so.”

Romelle furrowed her eyebrows. “Strange. Back in Lotor’s encampment we only had two parents and a sibling. There were no _cousins_ or _grandparents_ .” She said, tasting the words _cousin_ and _grandparent_ on her tongue gingerly.

“What an awful place you lived in!” Coran exclaimed, butting into their conversation abruptly. “Me and my whole family used to go on these long vacations to an exclusive place called…”

“Don’t be rude, Coran!” Allura said, smacking Coran playfully on the shoulder. “I grew up with my parents as my only family, too.” She said, whilst Coran opened his mouth for a counterattack.

 

Keith looked around frantically and spotted one of the only officials from his Garrison days, Admiral Sanda. He didn’t want his Altean friends to start fighting and create a scene, especially after just landing on Earth. Keith needed a diversion.“Admiral!” Keith exclaimed, hailing over the admiral.

Admiral Sanda turned at the mention of her name. “Cadet Kogane.” She said, and then pursed her lips as she chose her words carefully. Coran, Romelle, and Allura stopped their fighting when the admiral walked closer to them. “Well, I guess you’re no longer a cadet.”

Keith smiled and nodded his head. “I would like for you to be the first to meet our Altean colleagues, allies, and _friends_. This is Romelle, Allura, and Coran.” He said, as the gave the admiral a timid smile or a wave.

The admiral nodded in acceptance. “Are you sure they’re not hostiles?” She said, making no effort to be discreet or to lower her voice.

Allura took a defiant step forward. “We are the core of team Voltron as much as the humans. If you don’t support us, you don’t support Voltron. And anyone who doesn’t support Voltron is an enemy of Voltron.”

The admiral stammered in shock, as she looked to Keith for a response. Keith nodded his head. “I agree. If it wasn’t for these three we wouldn’t be here now. Support all of us or support none of us.”

 

Sighing exasperatedly, Admiral Sanda looked to the Alteans. “I suppose you’ll be sitting in on our debriefing, then?”

Allura looked at Keith and laughed. “Sitting in? With all due respect, I’ll be _leading_ the debriefing.” She said, walking into the Galaxy Garrison with so much confidence and the admiral at her heels, walking into a facility she’s never been in before. Keith smiled. That was the Allura they all knew and loved.

 

Keith looked at Pidge and Hunk who had begun to walk into the facility. The crowd had thinned out by now, and he saw Lance standing off to the edge of the landing strip. Keith frowned, and made his way to Lance.

“Sanda and Iverson want us to go to debriefing before we do medical to check if we contracted any diseases. After that they’ll give us compensation or something and we’re clear to do whatever we want.” Keith said, standing beside Lance.

If Lance got surprised by Keith’s abrupt entrance, he didn’t show it. “How many months do you think it’ll take for the castle to be repaired?” He asked.

Keith blinked. “I dunno. Six months? Maybe seven? Why?”

 

Lance looked at Keith and chuckled. “Oh, nothing. I just wanted to know how to maximize my time before we head off again.” He said, and the two boys headed back inside to the Garrison. “Did you know that this is the ledge me, Hunk, and Pidge were sitting on when Shiro crash landed?” Lance asked.

“No.” Keith replied, swivelling his head back to look out onto the desert. Now that he sees it, the place does look oddly familiar. It’s where all his dreams are set.

“Well, this is how it all began. And I guess this is how it ends. For now, at least.” Lance said, and Keith nodded in agreement.

“How it starts, how it ends.” Keith replied.

Lance smiled. His voice is barely over a whisper. “How it starts, how it ends.”


	2. Lucky ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> au where axca never had a thing for the paladin with the flippity hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah two chapters within a timespan of 24 hours??? being angry at dreamworks is sure a great inspiration  
> seriously though, i am shocked and overwhelmed at the reception of the first chapter. keep commenting, loves! they add years to my life

During the debriefing, everyone had a chance to fill in their sides of the story. Nothing was left out, from the time they were separated and Allura got stuck with a baby Coran in a time warp, to the time that Lance admitted his insecurity to Keith. By the time the time dwindled into the ungodly hours of the night, the session was coming to a close.

“That’s all we learned and experienced during our adventures as Paladins of Voltron.” Lance said, finishing off their hours long session filling in all of the families and press about what had happened in the moments they were gone. “Now, what have we missed on Earth?”

The paladins learnt that they missed quite a lot. When Sam Holt returned to Earth much later, he warned the planet about an oncoming slaughter lead by the iron-fisted Galra empire despite the warnings of the Garrison. From then on, the world’s greatest minds came together to create the best artillery and war machines they could produce as well as integrating Galran and Altean technology to strengthen their machines. There were a few scares of Galra fleets entering the milky way system, especially during the time of Zarkon and the infancy of Lotor’s reign, but eventually the threat subsided and everyone went back to their everyday lives. Instead of fearing for their lives, they looked to the skies. Everyone knew about the legend of Voltron.

 

“So, what do we do?” Hunk asked, looking around at the crowded room.

Iverson shrugged. “Do what everyone else did. Go back to your everyday lives.”

Keith snarled and slammed his palms down. The sound rippled across the room. “Go back to our everyday lives? How the _hell_ are we supposed to do that? We just came back from over a year of living on an alien warship, I worked for an underground resistance called the Blade of Marmora only to learn they were all wiped out, me and my team saved each and everyone of you here! If it weren’t for Voltron, Zarkon would still be reigning! He would have been on Earth right here, right now, building a damn Zaiforge cannon for all I know.”

Keith rolled his eyes as everyone looked on warily. “I don’t _want_ to go back to my normal life. I was this kid who never talked to anyone and didn’t have any family. I had no home. I had nobody. When I’m with Voltron, it makes me believe I’m part of something bigger than myself.”

All the commanders and admirals looked at Keith in shock at his outburst. Shiro raised his hand tentatively. “I think what Keith is trying to say is that we’ve just come from an excruciating mission like no one has ever experienced. It will take a little more assimilation than just throwing us into the real world after being detached from society for so long.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’m with Shiro and Keith on this one. I still have dreams of all the Galra we’ve slaughtered and all the lives we’ve lost in the war. I don’t think I can just simply adapt and move on.” Lance said with a shrug.

Allura nodded. “We didn’t come here to stay permanently. Every single paladin here knew that our visit was temporary.” Allura looked around at her fellow paladins. Despite their reasons for wanting to stay, the decision was out of their hands. They needed the Castle of Lions to be rebuilt so they could permanently dismantle the Galra empire once and for all.

 

The other paladins nodded slowly. They wouldn’t be staying on Earth permanently. “Sam, Pidge told me that she gave you the blueprints for the Castle?”

He nodded. “Here are the schematics for the Castle of Lions.” Sam said, sliding over a thin flash drive with all the materials needed. “A lot of the supplies can only be found in specialty shops around the country, and they can take months to transport alone, not even counting assembly and engineering.”

“What does that mean?” Hunk asked.

“It means we can send a team out to collect the resources to bring the materials here. It might take a couple months, but it’ll be faster than having someone ship it here.” Sam replied.

Pidge nodded tersely. “Okay. We’ll drive around to pick up the smaller parts since we know exactly what we’re handling. The metal and base of the castle can be brought by the team, but Allura and Coran need to be hands on in the parts we choose for the engineering.”

“Okay, it’s settled. Pidge, Allura, and Coran will go to the specialty shops to get the parts that are harder to find and then we’ll send a team to get the base of the castle built. We still need to run tests and integrate extraterrestrial knowledge with our own, so you guys leave in two days.”

 

Everyone around the table nodded as the meeting was adjourned. When all the other people dispersed and a handful of people were left in the room, Keith saw Shiro and Adam talking to one side.

Adam’s face was knotted into a frown. “Of course I forgive you. How are you feeling?” Adam said, pulling Shiro into a tight hug.

Shiro gave a weak smile. “Aside from the white hair and the missing limb, I’m doing great.” He said, chuckling darkly.

Adam frowned at the ugly memory, the fact that Shiro wasn’t the same. “Hey, at least your illness is cured!” He cheered, recalling what Shiro brought up in the briefing.

Shiro laughed. “Maybe being held a captive prisoner for an alien warlord and then trapped in the in between place of death and life had its perks, after all.” He replied, while noting how all his teammates were staring at him. “Hey guys, come here. There’s someone I’d like to introduce you to.”

 

The members of team Voltron crowded closer to Shiro as Adam wrapped his arm around Shiro’s waist. “This is my boyfriend, my _fiance_. His name is Adam.” Shiro said, a proud smile on his face while Adam’s blush deepened.

“Good to see you’re safe, Adam.” Keith said with a bright smile.

Allura held out her hand. “A pleasure to meet you. Hopefully you won’t be too mad I gave your boyfriend white hair.” She joked.

Everyone was in relatively good spirits, except for Lance. He was blinking rapidly and staring at the way Shiro planted a kiss on Adam’s cheek. “I didn’t know you were gay, Shiro. I’m surprised.”

Shiro shrugged. “The Garrison wasn’t always so tolerant of my sexuality, but I let my work show how much I deserved to be here just like everyone else.” He said with a nod.

 

“We better get going. We have a lot to catch up on.” Shiro said, clasping Adam’s hand in his own. “We’ll see you guys for dinner, though?”

“Yup, we can go to that Japanese place in Plaht city everyone in the Garrison used to go to.” Hunk said with an enthusiastic nod.

Lance rubbed his stomach jokingly. “Ahh, yes. I can’t wait to eat real Earth food!” He said with a smile.

 

The other's waved goodbye to Adam and Shiro as the pair made their way to their apartment. Keith looked at Lance and frowned. “Do you really still have dreams about what we’ve been through?” He asked with a hoarse voice.

Lance shrugged. “Don’t you?”

Keith stayed silent, so Lance pressed on. “I have dreams about a lot of things. Mostly about our first fight with Sendak. You know, the one where you _cradled me in your arms_.” Lance teased. They share a good natured laugh.

“What do you remember about that day?” Keith asked.

Lance took a deep breath. “Not much. All I remember was coming out of a coma to save you. And then my interpretation of what everyone else tells me. That you lifted me up and carried me all the way across the castle to the healing pods.”

Keith pursed his lips and nodded, listening intently. Lance continues. “Oh, and I know you weren’t there but I figured I might as well add. I dream a lot about that time I died, too.”

Keith looked at Lance in confusion. “What are you talking about, Lance? You never died.”

Lance frowns. “Didn’t Allura tell you? We were on a mission and I died for a few minutes. She had to resurrect me with her Altean magic.”

“You _died_? Lance, what the hell. Why didn’t you tell me?” Keith said, voice breaking in concern.

Lance shrugged. “When you came back from the Blade it was really awkward. I didn’t know if we were on good terms. Besides, why didn’t you tell _me_ that you tried to sacrifice yourself?”

Keith looked down at his shoes. He didn’t have a response for that. “I-uh..” He stammered.

Lance gave Keith a small smile. “I don’t like talking about what I did to save the team, and you don’t either. Come on, you’ve met everyone else’s family already, might as well introduce you to mine.” He said, as they walked out of the meeting room.

* * *

 

Veronica McClain was standing outside the barracks where her family was temporarily staying. She had been working with the Garrison for a while now, almost since Lance had left Earth. She was leaned up against the wall and didn’t realise that Allura was walking towards her, with Romelle at her side.

“I don’t think we’ve met before! I’m Allura.” She said, sticking out her hand for Veronica to shake.

“Veronica. I’m Lance’s sister.” She replied, smiling. Romelle smiled at Veronica. They were sweet in a sense, despite definitely looking hardened by war.

“I know this might sound embarrassing, but me and Romelle have a meeting in one of the rooms and we just can’t find it! Could you help us? This Earth alphabet is so confusing.” Allura said, and Veronica instantly saw a different side of the alien princess. In the debriefing she was fierce and unrelenting, but Allura had such a bright personality that Veronica instantly saw why team Voltron loved the girl as if she was their own.

Veronica smiled. “Of course I’ll help you! Come on, it’s on the opposite side of the room we were just in.” She said, herding the two girls and making them round the corner. As they turned, Veronica almost bumped into Lance.

 

Lance’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Oh, hey Veronica! This is my _friend_ Keith!” Lance said, looking from Veronica to Keith and smiling.

Veronica smiled and nodded in greeting to Keith. “Hey Keith!” She said, and then turned her gaze to Lance. “Mom is inside the barracks. I’ll meet you there.” She said with a smile, as Allura and Romelle followed Veronica.

“Your sister seems nice.” Keith said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He had already met Adam, who was all of Shiro’s family before and he met Sam and Colleen Holt before the briefing. Why was he suddenly so scared to meet Lance’s family?

Lance grinned. “She is. Veronica was the one I was closest in age to, so we were really close. Funny how we both ended up in the Garrison.” He said with a chuckle.

 

Keith nodded as Lance opened the door to the room his family was assigned temporarily. A small piece of paper on the door read _McClain_ and Keith was excited and scared all at once.

When the door creaked open, three little kids came running out. They all had spiky hair and cloudy blue eyes. They all looked like Lance, but they were all so distinctly different too. “Hey mom!” Lance said, pasting on this big genuine grin Keith couldn’t get enough of.

Lance’s mother had a silent, soft smile eternally pasted on their faces. Keith wondered how she still looked soft and caring when the universe yanked one of her children out to fight in an intergalactic war.

“Hello, Lance!” She said, enveloping their son in a hug.

Lance smiled. “This is Keith. He saved my skin a bunch of times when we were in space.” He said with an easy smile.

Keith nodded and smiled timidly. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. McClain.”

Lance’s mother gave Keith a big, tight hug. It was different from his own mother, who was all sharp edges and only knew how to care for her son like caring for a comrade. Lance’s mother was all soft and curved edges, she was kind and caring and made Keith feel at home.

 

Lance and his mother talked briefly while Keith was left to play with the younger cousins. Keith had never seen so many kids at a single time. “Are you Lance’s teammate?” One kid asked, taking a seat beside Keith on the creaky bed.

Keith nodded. “Yeah, I fly the black lion.”

The kid flashed Keith a toothy grin. “I’m Marco! I’m Lance’s brother.” He said, holding out his hand for Keith to shake.

Keith laughed as he shook Marco’s hand. He was a small kid, not older than ten. “It’s an honor to meet you, Marco.” He said, looking back at Lance who just laughed loudly at something his father had said. “You must be really lucky to have Lance as your brother.” Keith exclaimed.

Marco smiled. “Yeah, but you must be luckier to have Lance as your teammate.”  


Keith nodded. “I guess we’re both lucky, then.”

Keith thought of it as a joke, but he realised that he truly did mean it. Lance was so kind and so caring, and Keith was so genuinely lucky to have such an amazing partner and friend fighting by his side. They were both the lucky ones, after all.

* * *

 

Hunk was surprised to see that the whole Japanese restaurant was reserved for this event. The paladins of team Voltron just wanted a small dinner to celebrate their return to Earth, but with all the families of the members it was impossible to reserve just one table. Him and his family arrived thirty minutes early before everyone else, and Shiro was just walking through the front doors.

“Shiro!” Hunk said, walking over to Shiro and Adam.

Shiro smiled at Hunk. He looked a little uneasy, but his smile was the same soft and pure one he always wore. “Hey, Hunk. Where is everyone?” He asked, holding on tight to Adam’s hand. Shiro had spent too much time taking for granted Adam, and he wasn’t going to do that again.

“Pidge is five minutes away. The Alteans are riding with Keith and they just left, and knowing Lance he’ll probably be late.” Hunk joked.

Shiro laughed, as Hunk’s parents walked over to Hunk. “I’d like to introduce you to Shiro.” Hunk said, turning to his parents. “He was the leader of Voltron before Keith, and if it weren’t for him I would have never known how much potential I had as a pilot.”

Shiro blushed and humbly lowered his head. “It’s an honour to meet you. Your son has done so many wonderful things. The universe is grateful for his service.” He said with a smile.

His parents smiled. In this moment, nothing could be more perfect.

 

When the rest of the people arrived an hour later, the atmosphere was amazing. The food was perfect, the people were good company.

 

Midway through the meal, the Alteans heard a clinking sound that came from Shiro’s table. Shiro was tapping his fork on the water glass, and he looked uneasy. “I know it’s a cliche, but I’d like to say a few words.” He said, and stood up. A hush fell over the room.

“For most of the people in this room, it had been almost five years since we had been on Earth last. For some of us, it felt like three years.” Shiro looked at Keith. “But for me and my teammates, it had only been about one and a half years. And in those one and a half years I had learned what the gift of life really means, and what it means to lose it.” Shiro smiled sadly at Adam.

“When I was in the astral plane, it meant my body had died. For a short time, my consciousness had died as well. But a year before, half of my heart had already died. I made the awful decision to leave the love of my life, Adam.” Shiro said, and he laughed at the whoops and hollers the paladins gave him.

Shiro got down on one knee and laughed. “Adam, will you marry me? Again?” He said, and even though Adam wasn’t floored in shock, he was taken aback. He looked at Shiro and smiled, tears streaming down both boys’ faces.

“Please say yes, I spent so much money on this ring.” Shiro whispered jokingly, as Adam laughed.

“You’re awful, ‘Kashi. But I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Of course I’ll marry you.” He said, laughing and crying and smiling all over.

 

This moment was perfect. It was one of those moments Lance wanted to stay in forever.

Everyone in this room held a respect for the paladins, they held a respect for Lance.

Lance still couldn’t shake the awful feeling from that game show they all were in, and whether it was true or not he had the words “ _Lance, the dumb one”_ engrained in the back of his mind. He knew that such a thing wasn’t true, but some days it got hard to believe. Some days, he just had to suck it up and admit that he would never be the smartest one on the team, but on days when he was surrounded by people who he loved and loved him back, he knew that this was where he belonged in the world.

 

He knew that this was right. Lance knew that no matter who he was there would always be people who loved him unconditionally. After his meal, he stood up to pay a visit to Pidge’s table when Sam Holt took him to the side and smiled at Lance. “Lance, will you be joining Katie on the trip to get the supplies?” He asked, with what Lance could only call a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“With all due respect, Mister Holt, but why would I go on this trip? I have no background in engineering or anything to do with Altean alchemy.” Lance replied earnestly.

Sam grinned. “You give yourself no credit. Lance, you’re a very insightful kid. If you weren’t doing anything this summer, you could prove very useful to the trip.”

Lance looked around at all the people, and he felt something pull deep within him. If it wasn’t for him, would everyone be here today? How would things have played out differently if Lance didn’t respond to the Blue lion? How would things have played out differently if _Keith_ never detected the Blue lion?

Lance knew the answer. Lance wouldn't be here. Lance wouldn’t have been thinking of the paladin with the flippity hair and wondering if he would agree if Lance asked him to come with them on a cross country summer road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're only 5k words in and keith and lance are already getting more natural story progression and character development than they got in 5 whole seasons? dreamworks hire me  
> (i wanted to put kaltenecker in this chapter but i figured i won't since that cow got more screentime than adam.) also adam, 5k words in and they already proposed? its what they deserve, sister!  
> > thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my cute lil fic. please support voltron fanfic writers by commenting and kudos-ing! xx


	3. The far end of Twenty Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lead (the soldiers home) isn't about war. not about the casualties that amass when a world is locked in anger. it is just a silly fic about boys in love. it isn't so much deeper, so much darker. it's not raw and real regardless of its fantastical settings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the love i've gotten in the last 2 days. thank you so so much yall rock

Keith was outside, and he was cold. He didn’t know how long it had been since he stepped outside, but the red-hot anger building up inside of him needed a way out.

It was only their first day back on Earth, and everything was haunting him. He was inside that Japanese restaurant, and everything felt so damn  _ familiar _ to everyone but him. Shiro and Adam went on their third date at this restaurant. Lance kept talking Hunk’s ear off about the girl he hooked up with in the bathroom. Veronica was eating sushi here when her mother called and told her Lance was gone.

Keith never had any time to go to this restaurant, even if it was only thirty minutes away. His time at the Garrison consisted of sleeping at midnight and waking up at four in the morning to train until seven when he needed to go to his next class. How he survived those three years before he got kicked out, Lord knows.

It was cold and chilly but it was better than that suffocating heat enveloping him inside. Everyone had a story regarding that restaurant, everyone but him. Everyone had family or a security net. Pidge had the Holts, Hunk had the Garretts, Lance had the McClains, Allura had the Alteans, and Shiro had Adam. 

Keith, Keith had nobody. On most days when they were trapped in space, slowing losing sense of time and reality it seemed to be something that consoled Keith instead of hindered him. It was a cruel, cynical way of thinking but he knew that since he had no family that cared for him, it would be easier when he died.

Because, Keith always knew he would never get out of this alive. He didn’t  _ need _ to get out of this alive, not like his teammates. His friends had boyfriends to go home to and sisters to gossip with. They had meals to cook for their little cousins and programs to code with their fathers. If they were in an incriminating situation, Keith always put himself in the line of fire for them. It would just be easier, if he died. There wouldn’t be such a vacancy in the world. If Shiro or Pidge or Lance or Hunk died… that would be a very different story.

Keith just didn’t feel like he belonged. He always knew his place, and it felt so right fighting against the Galra or alongside his teammates. Never here. Never with friends and family that were never his own.

 

Lance tried not to stare when Keith stumbled out of the restaurant. At first he suspected that Keith was drunk, but he never saw Keith even be remotely buzzed in space. Ever since earlier today when Keith abruptly cornered Keith and talked about his dreams, and even before that in the morning, he couldn’t shake the undeniable  _ good  _ that shone through Keith’s actions. He knew Keith was acting as kind of an awful person on their way back to Earth, and so Lance prayed to God he would have the strength to forgive Keith.

Even if he knew the answer. Of course he would forgive Keith. He saved Lance’s life so many times. They’ve been through hell and back. Of course he would forgive Keith for being a little snarky, wasn’t he the same way when they first started Voltron?

Lance stepped out into the cool and unforgiving night air. While the temperature soared in the day, it was sent plummeting in the evenings. He shivered in the cotton t-shirt, the unfamiliar blend of sights and sounds and overall light pollution

The streets were so littered with lights, you could barely see the stars. Lance thought of how cruel that could be, to live your whole life and go without seeing the stars in all their might and beauty and splendor that they deserved.

 

“How many one on one conversations can we squeeze into one day?” Lance joked, startling Keith.

Keith turned around and relaxed at the sight of Lance. “Oh, hey Lance.”

“You feeling alright?” Lance said, an expression indiscernible, somewhere between perplexed and concerned.

Keith nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “I’m fine. Just needed some air.” He said, taking in a thick gulp.

Keith never knew how Lance did it; how Lance knew exactly what Keith was talking about before he even said it. “I’m sorry you don’t have any family to sit with.” Lance said earnestly.

Keith stifled a small smile but brushed it off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I made all those jokes about you in the last few weeks.”

Keith could tell that he struck a nerve, but Lance smiled brightly. “It’s fine. Seriously though, are you sure you’re okay not eating with anyone? I know it can be hard.”

If it was Shiro, or Hunk, or Allura, or literally anyone else in the world Keith would have snapped by now. Keith would have told Lance  _ no, because you’re not some half-breed alien baby who has only a mother and an incinerated father. I do.  _ But this wasn’t just anyone. This was Lance, Keith’s partner. Keith’s friend.

Instead of going back to his coping mechanisms and shutting the drawbridge, he lowered his walls. “It can just be tiring sometimes. Especially when I see you and your family. Or Shiro being all cheesy with Adam. It can be a lot.”

Lance nodded. “Is that why you were flirting with Axca?”

Keith looked at Lance incredulously and clenched his jaw. “ _ Axca _ ? What are you talking about?”

Lance stared at Keith for what felt like forever. “Everyone saw you when Axca was with the team. You couldn’t stop staring at her.” Lance’s voice became more and more insistent.

 

“I was staring at her because she was flirting with me. She was one of Lotor’s generals. And… I don’t even like…” Keith started, only for Lance to cut him off in anger. 

“Do you even  _ know  _ who she is? She tried to kill me, Keith!”

“Yeah, and I tried to kill her when she tried to kill you.” Keith said dryly.

“And then you  _ left _ !” Lance exclaimed, and all the old wounds they dug up when they were stranded in space seemed fresh once more. 

“So you could have a spot on the team!” Keith yelled back, and he pulled that face Lance was so used to everyone using on him. The face of immediate regret. The face of someone who wished they could take back what they said.

“You can’t possibly mean that.” Lance scoffed.

Keith took a deep breath in. “With Shiro back to pilot Black he would have wanted me as his right-hand man. We all know Allura was such a good fit for Blue. You were right, when you told me you were expendable.” Keith shrugged. “I just wanted you feel less like you didn’t belong.”

The gears in Lance’s mind were whirring rapidly. “Why… why would you do that?” 

“Because I know what it’s like to feel like a stranger when everyone knows each other.” Keith remarked, turning his head back to the restaurant which just erupted in laughter at something Coran said.

“I thought I was doing you a favour.” Keith explained.

Lance sighed. “It was hard… when you left. I didn’t want you to go after how far we’ve come as a team. And then you got back and the circumstances were even worse, and we never had time to properly catch up or whatever.”

 

“Well, we’ve got a few months of doing absolutely nothing. Might as well catch up then?” Keith said, raising an inconspicuous eyebrow at Lance.

Lance nodded. “Yeah.” He replied, eyes lighting up a second after. “Oh, hey! I almost forgot. Sam wanted me on that supply run across the country. And since you aren’t really doing anything here, wanna come?” Lance asked, biting his lip nervously. 

Keith smiled with all features of his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling softly. “Why do you assume I’ve got nothing to do over the next few months? I could hang out with Shiro and Adam.” Keith joked with a shrug.

“Shiro is going to be knee deep in wedding preparations. So is Adam.” Lance said, hope shining through his eyes. “Please come with us.  _ We’ll be back in time for the wedding! _ ” Lance said in a sing song voice. “We’ll be back for  _ Axca!”  _ Lance teased, and as the two boys walked back in the restaurant, Lance heard Keith mumble something, but he wasn’t quite sure if it was true.

“I don’t even  _ like  _ girls.”

* * *

 

Keith wakes up at dawn. It’s too quiet in the Garrison, too unfamiliar. The smell is too pungent, too much like Earth. There’s no artificial whirring of the castle and there’s no Coran hollering a wake up call through the speakers. It’s just Keith, the light, and the day.

He jogs out of the Garrison quietly, even if many students and personnel are already awake. Keith had done this so many times before. There was a long and narrow hallway that led to a fire exit that was almost always open, and it was a straight path to his desert shack and dirt bike.

When he gets to his shack, the memories overwhelm him. This was the last place they saw before leaving Earth. It all feels so different now.

 

Keith just wanted to forget about his conversation with Lance. In the secret of the night every single word that rolled off the tip of Lance’s tongue felt much more meaningful than it was, much more meaningful than him talking about space chickens or the best movie starring Jennifer Lawrence. It just felt… real. All this time Keith knew he was putting up a facade to make sure no one gets too close, but maybe Lance was putting on a facade of his own. Maybe his facade was harmless jokes and being  _ the dumb one. _

He needed to go outside. He needed to work out. His mind was working too hard to solve problems Keith had yet to face. He trudged over to the back of his shack and pulled off the dusty tarpaulin that covered the dirt bike.

It was exactly as Keith left it.

Riding a dirt bike after months of riding an alien lion war machine took a little adjustment, but in no time Keith was finally able to ride just like he used to. He went through the motions, the same things that he did whenever he was stressed or tired.

 

_ Don’t think about Axca. Don’t think about mom.  _ Keith spins around and drifts wildly, making dust cloud everywhere.  _ Don’t think about Lotor. Don’t think about Kolivan.  _ Keith revs the engine, making the sound echo throughout the hollow desert.

_ Don’t think about the Galra. Don’t think about the people you killed. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.  _ Keith rides up a steep hill. The same hill where Shiro showed him that drop Keith had been too scared to make. He’s a little older, a little wiser.  He could make the jump. It’s just a leap of faith. Just a leap of faith.

_ Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think about it.  _ Keith flies off the cliff. It feels like he’s floating.  _ Don’t think about Lance.  _ His mind screams, before he loses all feeling in his lungs on impact.

 

The Garrison knew about Keith’s whereabouts. They were tasked to keep track of him at least until they were cleared for the supply run. Most of all, Shiro knew about Keith’s whereabouts. An intern woke up Shiro at the crack of dawn with a pencil tucked in the crook of her ear.

“Mister Shirogane, I’d just like to let you know that Keith left the premises an hour ago. He isn’t cleared for exit yet, we were hoping you’d retrieve him.” She said, giving him a piece of paper with Keith’s location. Shiro knew that location by heart. He used to train there with Keith all the time. It’s where they became friends. It’s where they became brothers.

Shiro smiled at the girl. “Thank you. I’ll be sure to visit Keith within the hour.” He said, nodding as she walked away.

 

Shiro went into the washroom and splashed water on his face. He could see the sleeping silhouette of Adam from the reflection in the mirror. Adam looked serene. Peaceful. He tried not to imagine the stress he put upon Adam. Shiro wishes there were more ways to apologize. He felt the hurt as if it was his own.

Planting a soft kiss on Adam’s cheek, Shiro whispered in Adam’s ear. “I’m going out to check on Keith. See you later.” Shiro said, as Adam gave Shiro a lopsided smile.

The day was hot and bright. Shiro could hear the creaky engine of Keith’s dirt bike before he saw Keith. By the time he rounded the hill, he saw Keith. It was all those months in space, flying advanced tech that made Keith look lightweight on the bike. The bike looked like an extension of Keith’s very being. Keith was impressive, as he did quick flips and turns and leaps. 

Shiro was always surprised by what Keith would do next. He was always impressed, so Shiro was surprised when he saw Keith come crashing down from a tall mountain, eyes fluttered shut.

His survival instincts kicked in, as Shiro ran across from his spot in the desert to pick Keith up. He was unresponsive, as they made their way to the hospital wing of the Garrison.

* * *

 

“Why are  _ you  _ here?” Shiro asked accusingly. It was one of the first muffled voices that Keith heard after waking up.

“What are you talking about? Am I not allowed here?” A sigh. Shiro speaks up again.

“Don’t you, I dunno, hate Keith?” A scoff.

“No, Shiro. I don’t  _ hate  _ Keith. He’s my teammate.” Keith blinks rapidly as he sits up too quick. Outside his hospital door he sees Lance and Shiro deep in conversation.

“He’s awake now, by the way.” Lance added, as he pushed through Shiro and opened the door to see Keith.

“Why are you here?” Keith said with a cough.

Lance shrugged. “I was in the area. Pidge and Allura are coming here too. Hunk was here earlier but he had to attend to something.”

Keith eyes Shiro as he walks in. He didn’t like this sensation, being strapped to a hospital bed. “What happened?”

“You bruised a rib riding your bike. It wasn’t that bad, the medic said it’ll heal in a week.” Shiro said.

 

“Why does it  _ hurt like hell _ ?” Keith said, as Shiro’s phone rang. He stepped out to answer it.

“Because it’s been about three hours. Usually you’ll be out of the healing pod by now and forgot you even injured yourself.” Lance shrugged, looking around the room. “Ah, how I missed those healing pods.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I don’t. They made us suicidal freaks.” 

Lance looked at Keith and furrowed his brow. “Don’t say that. That never happened.” Lance told Keith, even if his tone betrays his words.

“It made  _ me  _ a suicidal freak. Putting myself in life threatening situations I never would have lived through if it wasn’t for the healing pods? It made me crave danger. It was like a drug, to see how much I could push myself before finally breaking. Never did. Allura would have resurrected me just like she resurrected Shiro. Those healing pods made us slaves to war.”

 

“The pain medication is uncensoring your thoughts.” Lance rationalised, even if he was entertaining the idea as well. How many times had he taking a bullet to the brain just for it to get pulled out later? How many times did he snap all his bones or go blind in one eye, just for him to repeat the procedure the next day? It made them think they were immune to pain. They were invincible. How many times did Lance bet with Hunk he could get third degree burns like it was nothing.

How many times had Lance tasted death, just for him to spit it out?

 

“I never thought I’d make it out alive. I thought I’d make it to the far end of seventeen.” Keith said. He had tears in his eyes.

“Don’t say that. You’ll make it to the far end of twenty nine, at the very least.” Lance reassured, tears pricking in his own eyes.

Lance hopes he makes it to the far end of twenty nine, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! remember to support voltron fanfic writers by commenting and kudos-ing!


	4. The kiss of death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this story in unbelievably fluffy, but trust me it'll be unbelievably good as well.  
> dreamworks this is my official application to write for voltron legendary defender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously wtf thank you for commenting. each one makes me want to get up in the morning and write. ilu all wee 10k in 72 hours not bad for a girl with a low vocab

“I’m going on that supply run and you can’t stop me.” Keith spat out, ripping tubes out of his arms haphazardly. Keith had been asleep for the last few hours. All he remembered was talking to Lance about making it to twenty nine and then falling asleep. When he woke up, Shiro was already moving his belongings into the hospital room. In common Keith fashion, he decided to throw a fit.

“Keith, you’re still on pain medication. You can’t take that out!” Shiro exclaimed, eyes widening as Keith tore more tubes out of his wrists.

“It’s just a bruised rib. Doc said I’ll be fine in a week. I’ve been through worse, Shiro.” Keith said, rolling his eyes and wincing through the pain.

Shiro sighed and grabbed Keith’s wrist so tight he feared he was cutting out the circulation. “You can go on that supply run,  _ whatever. _ But you need to stay in bed for the rest of the day. It’s only the afternoon. You can’t possibly be thinking about riding on that dirt bike so soon after you ended up hospitalised.” He berated.

“The  _ rest of the day _ ?” Keith said, voice breaking. Suddenly the aching loneliness that Keith felt yesterday was nonexistent. There were a plethora of things Keith wanted to do, and he wanted to do them now. He could feel his time slipping through his hands. His soul ached to get out of his creaky hospital bed. He wanted the sun on his skin. The sky and the infinite day. Hot summer days. He’s ready to run. He didn’t want to stay here. Keith could feel the infinite expanse of wanting and yearing build up in him. It was this painful insistent nagging feeling to  _ do something. _

Shiro’s eyes widen, taken aback at Keith’s protests. “We’ll see how you feel later in the day if you really can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ll let you rest.” He whispered softly, exiting and leaving Keith in the too-quiet room.

He wanted to get out there because all the people going on the supply run for the Castle ship was going to be in a meeting all day, and it would be the last day living on Garrison campus. It was the last day Keith could maximize all of the amenities they had to offer.

Keith hasn’t decided yet where he would go, once they got back from picking up supplies. Lance joked that they were going to be staying in a bunch of crappy motels, but Keith knew Lance was excited to go back to his old family home. Maybe Keith would stay with Adam and Shiro for a bit, but he was a legal adult already. Couldn’t he buy an apartment or something? 

Keith sighed. Instead he just sunk further into the lumpy mattress and let the morphine drip into his veins. He would deal with his future tomorrow.

 

Lance wanted to deal with his future, and Lance wanted to do it today. He was excited to go sightseeing, to absorb the most out of a single summer before he left for space again. He wanted to kiss a cute girl at a mysterious bar that sold drinks in an alphabet Lance could recognize. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to live.

Lance had a list of things he wanted to accomplish this summer. The list was fairly short.

 

  1. He wanted to save someone.



Lance had always liked thinking that if being a pilot never worked out, he would have been a fairly good suicide hotline operator. Talking with Keith yesterday, talking with him about death and all the things Lance refused to admit to himself before, it just reawakened that pit in his soul that yearned to save someone.

  1. Lance wanted to live.



Lance had one foot out the door ever since he was born. Lance was born with a rebellious streak and a hellish diatribe, and he grew into his reckless ways with ease. Lance never expected to grow up like this, growing up like he was ready to die.

Lance didn’t want to live like he was just born to die this summer. He was going to live.

  1. Lance was going to fall in love.



His girlfriends had always broken up with him the same way. They pulled Lance off to the side and sighed. “You’re just…  _ too much for me _ .” They would say, as if their relationship was worse than wedlock.

Lance wanted to meet someone. He wanted to meet someone that was just right for Lance.

 

Clearly, Lance wasn’t giving much thought into the meeting he was currently in. Lance despised meetings. They felt like they lasted forever and felt like conversations on sedatives. Allura was rambling on about Altean alchemy, and all the Garrison operatives listened with intrigue. Hunk and Pidge were the only two other members of team Voltron in the meeting, and it was nothing new that they hadn’t heard before. Pidge was rapidly typing on her laptop, and Hunk was politely listening as always.

Lance began to nod off. It wasn’t like Lance didn’t sleep well, because he did. Lance slept like a baby after months of not sleeping in a proper room that wasn’t hurtling light years through space. Lance did sleep well, but he was awake early because something was haunting him. He was in one of the unused Garrison dormitories and it reminded him too much of his Garrison days. He enjoyed his time at the Garrison, but every ugly insecurity threatened to resurface and Lance couldn’t handle it.

 

“You know, you’re just here because Keith left.” Iverson snarled, on the first day in fighter pilot training class. Lance was so excited, he was finally going to be a fighter pilot! Lance had called all his family members and they told him the same thing, that they were  _ proud of him _ .

The next morning as Lance walked into his first class, he knew he was in for a rude awakening. Instead of fighting back, Lance just looked up at Iverson and smiled. “I know that, thank you professor. I’m just  _ lucky  _ to be in the fighter pilots class.” Kindness oozed out of Lance’s every word, so much kindness that Lance feared it wouldn’t be enough to cover the hurt brewing in his soul.

Lance loved flying, there was something exhilarating about it. He never liked sitting still in a classroom with an armful of test papers. Maybe in that way him and Keith were the same.

 

Back on the morning of present day Lance was walking around aimlessly when he heard Shiro’s distinct voice. It was the voice they used when they were in tough situations, and it made Lance’s heartbeat quicken. “Well, if Keith had just a bruised rib that’s good. There wasn’t much internal damage and he’ll heal up quickly.”

_ Bruised rib _ ? Lance thought. He was surprised Keith already managed to injure himself when just yesterday he was teasing all of Keith’s ribs about Axca. He pushed his way through the crowd of people and stared at Shiro. Lance had gained about an inch on their missions, and he almost towered over Shiro. “Keith got hurt?” Lance asked, eyes darting around frantically.

“Lance, why are you here?” Shiro asked tiredly.

Lance wasn’t ready to admit that his insecurities got in the way of his rest, he didn’t want to admit that his track record at the Garrison wasn’t flawless. Lance was simply just not ready, so he told a half truth. He told a half lie. “I heard Keith got hurt. I wanted to check if he was okay.”

Shiro blinked again. “Yeah but Lance,” Shiro paused. “Why  _ are  _ you here?”

 

Now, more than three hours later and knee deep into a meeting Lance was starting to feel the lethargy weighing down on him. However every time he thinks he’s just about to nod off, the mental image of Keith in a hospital bed comes back to wake him up.

It’s nothing new. Lance had seen Keith bloodied, beaten, and on the verge of death. But they never stayed sickly pale or lived with the battle scars. As Keith slept with tubes stuck in his arms, it reminded Lance of just how expendable they really were.

Hell, the time dilation made everyone think Voltron was gone for three years and the world continued as usual. They were expendable, they didn’t require a place in the world.

And yet, here they were with high ranking officials prepared to give these Earth teens any sum of money as compensation. Here they were at the height of the technological industry and they were living and breathing future tech. No matter what happened, they played an influential hand.

Maybe Lance didn’t like being influential. This summer he just wanted to read a magazine and have a picnic. He wanted to catch crayfish in a pond. Lance just wanted to rest.

 

“We’ll need to retrofit your Earth materials to fit a Balmera crystal.” Allura said, jolting Lance out of his daze. 

“Lance, is Keith coming with us?” Allura asked, tilting her head inconspicuously.

Lance gulped. He knew Keith never took no for an answer, and he knew that once Keith had decided on something, he never changed his mind. Keith had walked a mile with a blade stuck in his leg, so he knew a bruised rib wouldn’t make Keith turn up the opportunity to go on a holiday.

“Yeah.” Lance said. “Yeah, he’ll be with us.” 

 

Lance had just seen Keith, but he was compelled to pay a visit once more. Once the meeting was adjourned, Lance’s legs found himself outside Keith’s room but Lance stopped himself. They would be trapped inside close quarters once more for a whole month, and Lance knew that no matter how close they got to each other there was always just one thing that managed to push his buttons. They still fought like children.

Lance decided to take a stroll of the Garrison. It was an open concept of a school, with sunlight and gardens popping up everywhere. There were fields of greenery even in the most controlled environments. To put it curtly, Lance was bored. He was leaving on a supply run tomorrow, but after that they would have another few months of lag time before they went back into space. What would Lance do then? What would he do after? Lance thinks that maybe he would like to graduate from university one day, once all of this is over. 

He thinks of making his way to Hunk and poking around at whatever he was doing in the engineering wing of the school. Instead, Lance made his way to Veronica. Veronica was an intern at the Garrison, and Lance caught her in a rare moment of spare time where she was lounging in the quad. “Hey.” Lance said, taking a seat beside Veronica. “Whatcha thinking of?” He asked.

Veronica laughed bemusedly. “Ironically, your teammates.”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What do you think of them?” 

“The Alteans seem friendly. I like Allura. We think alike. Pidge is really smart for her age, but she’s pretty quiet so I don’t know her that well. Me and Hunk talked earlier, he’s friendly. I can see why you’re best friends with him.”

“What about Shiro? And Keith?” Lance asked.

Veronica sighed. “Shiro’s… well, Shiro is Shiro. He was a few years above me back when I studied here so it’s weird being so informal to him now. Keith. He’s quiet. How old is he?”

Lance frowned. Keith was twenty one, but everyone called him nineteen or twenty. Nobody really knew how old Keith was anymore. Time dilation can be a pesky thing. “Nineteen.” Lance settled on.

Veronica shrugged. “He’s cute.”

“V-Veronica! He’s my  _ teammate _ !” Lance stammered, sputtering like an ill oiled pipe.

Veronica shrugged sneakily. “And a year younger than me. He’s cute, don’t you think?”

Lance looked at Veronica incredulously. “Allura’s cuter.”

Veronica waved off Lance’s remark. “Nah, Keith is cuter.”

Lance tried not to think of that voice in his mind. It was getting concerningly loud. It felt like heaven and hell and the kiss of death.

_ Keith is. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i intentionally mirrored veronica's "she's cute" @ allura in the canon for her to say "he's cute" @ keith in the fanfic. so sue me  
> > thanks for reading! please support voltron fanfiction writers by liking and commenting!


	5. Wandering Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this installment: the adventure begins, Coran gets more privacy than the rest, Lance stans Lana Del Rey, Shiro is the unofficial Space Dad, and Keith goes on a run.  
> -This chapter is best read with the hyperlink attached :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdgjhs i'm so sorry there was no update yesterday! school has been a drag and i wrote my draft half asleep at 12am and half awake at 6am :( to make up for it, i'll do a double update today! in a few hours chapter 6 will be up and kickin' (no pun intended)  
> \+ where should the gang go?? this fic is set on the east coast but comment me places all over the US they can visit!!

The next morning, Keith stares out the window as a nurse stands guard outside his door. He’s is arguing with a jittery nurse while simultaneously glaring at Shiro.. “Shiro, this really isn’t necessary.” Keith groaned. It was Shiro’s executive decision to assign Keith a guard of sorts, but Lance and Pidge were enjoying the decision wholeheartedly as seen by Pidge actively snapping pictures of a snarling Keith.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “The medical attendant told me you tried to sneak out of your hospital room three times to go on an unauthorized run of the campus.”

“The doctor told me to take precaution when doing my everyday activities! He didn’t tell me to totally stop doing everything all together. Taking a morning jog is just one of my many everyday routines.”

“You’re taking things way too literally. Going on a twenty mile run might have been normal for you when we had the healing pods available, but we just don’t have that kind of technology anymore.” Shiro smiled empathetically at Keith. “I’m sorry. I’m just looking out for you.”

Keith smirked and rolled his eyes. “I know. Thanks  _ dad _ .” He joked, and suddenly they were jolted back in time. 

 

Suddenly they were not a kid thrust into war and a veteran who had seen the eyes of death, but a Garrison official who had just gotten serious with another Garrison official, battling prejudice and homophobic remarks but never an alien warlord and a scraggly kid just on the brink of thirteen.

Keith hadn’t meant to punch James Griffin, honest to God. He just got on Keith’s nerves sometimes, the way he held that cocky nonchalant smirk as if he held all the secrets in the universe, the way he acted better than Keith even if Keith knew he was the best pilot by far… Keith just  _ loathed  _ James.

He was sitting outside the Garrison Admiral’s office when Shiro was standing up at him. “Why do you care if I get expelled or not?” Keith said, crossing his arms and huffing. “I stole your car. I’m not your kid.”

Shiro laughed. “I’m just looking out for you, Keith.” He replied, giving Keith a hand as they walked out of the office. 

Keith smiled and laughed as well, the smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “I know. Thanks,  _ dad _ .” It had become a joke almost, between the two of them.

 

Surprisingly enough, it was Lance’s bubbly laughter that brought Keith back to Earth. “That’s the best photo of Keith I have ever seen.” Lance said loudly from across the room. “You have to send me that photo, Keith!”

Keith snarled, but he wanted to stay in this moment forever.

  
  


Later in the afternoon, Coran, Romelle, Allura, Pidge, Hunk, and Lance loaded whatever belongings into a sprawling trailer. Keith looked on in anguish as started walking around the campus, taking slow but heavy breaths.

“Where did the Garrison get that?” Lance asked, eyes widening as he looked at the long trailer that would be his home for the next two months.

Shiro shrugged. “I dunno. Guess they rented it to us so we can transport the materials for the castle.”

“Speaking of transport, are you going with us to the supply run?” Lance asked, raising his eyes dubiously.

Shiro smiled wistfully. “Nah, you guys can handle a mission without me. Besides, there’s a lot of wedding planning to do before we leave for Earth.” Shiro joked, as Lance and Shiro both turned their gaze to Adam who was helping load items into the trailer.

“I can’t believe you never told me you had a boyfriend…” Lance trailed off.

Shiro looked at Lance meekly. “Does that change your impression of me?” He asked.

Lance’s eyes widened once more and flailed his hands in the air. “No! No! Not at all! I mean, of course my impression of you had changed, but for the better. I’m honored that we’re led by you, Shiro. Not only have you gone through so many physical battles but so many emotional battles as well.” He replied.

Shiro smiled. Lance was always a fan of Shiro, he was the one who broke all the Garrison records before Keith came along. His inner fanboy was creeping out, and Shiro found it endearing. “Thanks Lance. I’m glad I got to lead you.” Shiro said with a nod, clapping Lance on the back. 

“Looks like the trailer is almost loaded. I’ll see you guys in a few months, yeah?” Shiro said with a smile, as Lance hopped in the trailer. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon Shiro!” Lance said, smiling brightly.

 

There were pull out beds and worn in couches. This trailer felt like a place out of a retro movie. Lance turned on his phone and played the first thing that shuffled onto his [ Daily Mix ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvb8wdBglpw) . He sunk into the leather seats and saw Keith enter as he rubbed at his wrists.

It was going to be one long as hell summer.

* * *

 

Despite visible apprehension from all sides of the Garrison, Coran ended up driving. He dubbed the driver’s side  _ “as easy to navigate as an Altean’s child toy!”  _ and while that made the paladins initially wary of Coran’s driving skills, it was a pretty smooth drive.

An hour into the drive, Pidge sat down at one of the tables and spread out a long map. “Okay. We’ve got nine hours to go until we hit the first town we’re gonna visit. We’re gonna stay there overnight since we’ll reach the town in the dead of night. There’s a motel there, but they didn’t have any rooms with more than two beds. I guess we’ll do rotations.” Pidge said with a shrug. 

 

“Okay, Allura with Coran. Hunk with Keith. Lance with Romelle, and I take the solo room!” Pidge cheerily exclaimed. 

The whole group didn’t settle for Pidge’s assignments, especially since she ended up carrying no passengers on the trip to Earth. Lance was the first to object. “No  _ way  _ am I sleeping in the same room as Romelle! She rode with me in Red, if you haven’t already forgotten.” 

This caused other arguments to inflate rapidly. “Yeah, why am I with Coran? I’d love to be paired with Romelle!” Allura exclaimed.

“Hey, I thought we were going to be roommates and code our new game together, Pidge!” Hunk remarked.

“ _ Fine!”  _ Pidge exclaimed, cutting voice silencing the air. “We’ll draw the names out of a hat” She said, tearing off small strips of paper and putting them in Lance’s ratty baseball cap.

 

“First pairing, Hunk and Romelle!” Pidge exclaimed.

“Nice, I love hanging out with Romelle!” Hunk replied warmly. Romelle smiled at Hunk.

“Second pairing, me and Allura!” Pidge spoke up again, as Allura began to ramble about Altean sleeping customs.

“Third pairing, Keith and Lance!” Pidge said sneakily, as Coran whooped from the drivers’ seat.

“Aw man, can we go back to our old pairings?” Lance teased, as Keith glared at Lance. “Wait, does that mean  _ Coran  _ gets the whole room to himself?” Lance exclaimed, as the room erupted in laughter.

 

They spend the rest of the time teaching Allura and Romelle how to play card games. They play eye spy and watch trashy movies on the VHS player left from the nineties. Keith stuffs himself with junk food. He’ll burn it off in space anyways. Pidge spends her time on her laptop but her witty interjections proves she’s eavesdropping anyways. Hunk makes real, good, food. He makes ham and cheese sandwiches for everyone. Lance takes one and bites into it. The cheese melts just perfectly into the ham. It tastes like home. It is home.

Lance looked around at the scene. Laughter. Sunset. Just normal human stuff.

 

When they pull into the motel, the pale moonlight shines upon all of them. Lance used to marvel at the stars, but he feels that Voltron made him one with the stars. It gave Lance a place in the universe. 

The rest of the team gets settled into their rooms. The motel is dingy and just what Lance had expected, but it overlooks a murky lake filled to the brim with canoes. Instead of following them into the check in, Lance makes his way to a small box he stuffed last minute into the trailer.

 

For some reason, Lance walks over to the pier with the basket in his hand. It was a strange sensation, to not look over your shoulder and to sleep with one eye shut every time. Lance felt like he was no longer a slave to predetermined destiny. He could be as impulsive as he wanted and nobody would tell him he was being reckless.

That was what Lance hated about being a paladin, most of all. He felt responsible for millions of lives and for the fate of alien planets that he never even heard about. He was supposed to be this catalyst of good and he was supposed to be immortal.

Keith’s words ring loud in Lance’s ears. He thinks of all the times he cheated death, but in this moment Lance just wants to lay down his picnic blanket and bathe in the moonlight. He just wanted to live. He wanted to take all these awful experiences and live, truly and unprecedentedly live.

He knew that he didn’t want to spend his time cooped up in that awful motel room, and despite Lance being on good terms with Keith, they weren’t exactly on  _ room sharing  _ terms. They were navigating the uneasy middle place of enemies who became friends who became strangers who became friends once more. 

Lance didn’t want to think about Keith. When Lance thought of Keith he thought of a bunch of big ugly complicated feelings. Lance just wanted to listen to music through his crappy music system and filter the world out. He just wanted to think about what would happen today.

* * *

 

Keith sprints out of the trailer door. He despised Shiro at the moment, and he hated how Shiro kept Keith cooped up in the hospital room because he knew Keith too well. Keith’s rib was still bruised, but he could feel the oxygen flowing through him easier than it did yesterday. Since he was a kid, every solution to every problem Keith had was to run. Keith had always love running, and his social worker stuck him in their school’s local track and field team when he was ten. His father died just two weeks beforehand.

Keith loved running for the very fact that he could close his eyes and pretend like nothing really mattered. It was the ultimate stress reliever, for him to close his eyes and pretend like he was running away from all of his problems and all he had ever known and ever loved.

Tonight, his problem was that there were none. The feeling itched at Keith like a scab peeling off his skin. Keith didn’t like the uncomfortable feeling of no longer needing to sleep with one eye open. He didn’t know how to destress. Keith had always been on edge, not since this crazy twist of fate called Voltron but even all the way back since his father’s death. 

 

They were granted a reprieve, and it seemed that everyone but Keith knew how to spend their time. Hunk was going to take the Alteans to the national monuments around the country. Pidge was heading the reconstruction of the Castle of Lions. And while Lance never said anything Keith knew that now that Lance was eighteen he would be kissing some pretty face and taste like alcohol after dark.

He had to stop thinking about Lance like that. Thinking about how he tasted.

While Keith broke off into a sprint, Keith hadn’t had a clue where he was going or where he wanted to go. He decided to go down to the pier and run fifteen minutes one way and fifteen minutes back. 

As his run began, his mind wandered. Keith never really considered himself to have a home, not until now. He had always seen his soul as a wandering vagabond, but after visiting star systems so bizarre they were practically science fiction, Keith’s soul took root in earth. He had missed this. Keith missed the life giving oxygen and the soul piercing heavens above. Earth was home, and Keith didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to run away.

 

In fact, as the waves crashed underneath the boardwalk, he felt the overwhelming urge to run towards. Towards tomorrow and here and today and now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> booo i'm so sorry the chapter is so short oof  
> can u believe instead of locking keith in his hospital room my intitial plan was to make shiro strap keith to a wheelchair? sleep deprived me is wild.  
> > (̂ ˃̥̥̥ ˑ̫ ˂̥̥̥ )̂ thanks for reading! make sure to support voltron writers by commenting and kudos-ing!


	6. All the wrong places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they share a room. don't worry, there's two beds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah 5k+ words in one day?? dshgh what can i say i really love this story + there's a solid thousand words in this chapter that had been lying in my drafts for MONTHS. finally glad 2 share this wit u xox

Twenty five minutes later as Keith made it down the now familiar path he had started his run on, the air was sweet and familiar. Keith hadn’t even broken a sweat.

The moonlight was bright but the night sky was dark. If Keith’s Galra heightened eyesight wasn’t so keen, he would have missed Lance altogether.

“Lance.” Keith said, raising his eyebrows in query. “What are you doing here?” 

Lance looked up at Keith who was casting shadows from his position blocking the moonlight. He blinked slowly. “I dunno. I don’t wanna go in just yet.” Lance said blankly.

Keith looked pointedly at Lance. “Mind if I sit?” He asked, as Lance nodded and patted the space beside him.

 

“I never really believed in peace until tonight.” Lance whispered, so quiet the ghosts had to strain their ears to listen.

Keith frowned, but Lance pressed on. “I see rivers that run red with blood and crystal waterfalls. Do you remember that waterfall, the one on Arus?”

Keith nodded. He remembered every detail of every planet. He remembered every detail of every life that he had taken. “I think I know what you’re talking about. That time we saw scorched Earth after the battle with Zarkon, and the evergreen grass in the Olkari.”

“The drugged Balmera slowly bleeding to death.” Lance added. “And the woman dying of childbirth.”

Keith gulped. A star falls from the sky. A boy falls from grace. “Tears of hate.” He said slowly, thinking of his mother. Thinking of that first mission that pitted him and Krolia together. The hate that seeped through every ounce of his soul. The betrayal, the hurt, the abandonment. “And motherly love.” He thinks of the last time he parted with his mother before she left to go with Kolivan.

Keith doesn’t know why, but he can tell that Lance is crying. “We have seen the spectrum of human emotion. We have seen the salty sweet goodness of existence and flirted with death and yet after all that has happened,  _ we live.  _ Why are we still alive?”

 

Keith was never good at conversation. It was easier with Lance, because Lance never pressured Keith into saying what he wanted to hear. “Do you really think I’m the future?” Keith blurted out, voice cracking slightly.

Lance looked at Keith with a look Keith can’t decipher. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes his mouth slowly and chooses his words precariously. “I-I-yes. I do. You’re half Galra. You’re half human. You half Hell on Earth and the wisecracking leader. I think you’re the future.” Lance admitted.

Keith smirked and nudged Lance on the shoulder. “Thanks. By the way, if I’m the future I need my right hand man.” He said, looking at Lance with a smile dancing on his lips. “You can’t die yet, or the future is lost!” He yells jokingly and exuberantly. Lance laughs back.

Lance knows he’s Keith’s right hand man. He knows that Keith is the future, and Lance knows he will always be Keith’s right hand man. For now he was done flirting with death.

 

Besides, there are other people Lance would rather flirt with.

 

They share a comfortable silence that seems to stretch out into eternity, and they find peace and solace and comfort in all the places they never expected. 

“Are you glad we’re back on Earth?” Lance asked Keith.

Keith’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? Of course I am.”

Lance shrugged. “I dunno. If I were you I wouldn’t be glad. Because you don’t have any family. Or a real home.”

Keith opened his mouth, but snapped it abruptly as Lance completed his sentence. “Of course I’m glad. I never had anyone who really loved me that I left here. I guess I never really loved anyone. Besides Shiro, but he came with us. There was no part of my soul that I left here.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” Lance asked. Keith gulped, and nodded.

 

“I think you’re looking for love in all the wrong places.”

 

Keith stayed quiet for a moment. He wanted to choose his words carefully. “Is… is that why I was flirting with Axca?” Keith asked.

Lance’s eyes brightened. “So you admit it!” He said, pointing an accusatory finger at Keith. “You  _ were  _ flirting with Axca!” 

Keith shook his head indignantly. “No. I never flirted with her, but I did let her… say all those things about me. How her spiritual journey led her to me or something.”

Lance leaned back. “I can’t answer that question, only you can. So why  _ did  _ you let Axca flirt with you?”

Keith sighed. “I see you flirting with all those girls, Nyma and Allura and you look like you’re having so much fun. You never look for commitment, just something fun to pass the time.”

Lance had never thought of his flirtatious ways like that. He always had just tried to flirt with whatever pretty face he saw, and if they fell in love that would be the end of it. Now, he saw his actions in a different light. “Well, it’s  _ Axca.  _ She was a Galra general.”

“You’re right.” Keith said, staring up at the stars. He wonders if Axca is somewhere out there, right now. “Maybe I am just looking for love in all the wrong places.”

 

Lance quietly recalled some of his own memories. “Sometimes, you don’t even have to look for love. Sometimes, it’s just right there in front of you.” 

  
  


They walk into their shared motel room some time later. It’s dark and slightly smelling of acrid Lysol spray, but its clean and there’s no roaches. 

Lance looks around the room as he deposits his small overnight bag. “You take that bed, I take this one?” He asks, tilting his head over to the other bed.

Keith nods. “Whatever. I don’t mind either one.”

 

They’re bone tired and almost fall asleep by the time their heads hit the pillow. Lance could never get used to this, waking up in a new city every morning. He doesn’t know how Keith could bounce around foster homes and never finding a place to settle down.

Maybe, Lance could just ask him.

 

“Hey, Keith?” Lance croaks out, voice sharp and cutting in the pitch black room.

“Yeah?” Keith replies.

Lance opens his eyes wide and big and tries to strain for the smallest amount of light in order for him to make out his surroundings. No luck. It’s brighter when his eyes are closed. “How did you do it? Like, how did you go through foster homes so quickly? Didn’t you ever get tired?””

Keith shrugged. His foster homes passed by him in a blur, but he could only ever really remember one incident from his childhood that stood out.

* * *

_Six years prior, grade eight_

It was complete and utter  _ lies _ that Keith was kicked out of his last school.

Okay, maybe not a  _ complete _ lie... but it was still an extension of the truth. Either way, the rumours he heard at the back of his neck were hoaxes that Keith would more likely prefer to be true. The real truth, as absurd and as outlandish as it was, was an ill-fated comparison to the stories made up by his brilliant classmates. (Brilliant. Another extension of the truth.)

 

Truth was, he was  _ urged to resign. _ Total difference. He wasn't kicked out, he decided to leave. (And was put under intense heat from the school board, but whatever.) No matter which way he spun it, Keith wasn't at that school currently, so what was the hard if there was a lie more incendiary than the truth? Quite frankly, he didn't like his schoolmates all that well. Uptight and snooty and always invading his privacy. On most days, it was almost impossible for him to breathe, as they seemed to know his secrets before even him, himself. When Keith first moved to this new school, there was an aura of mystery surrounding him. Blunt and brute and a man of few words, it was harder to coax salacious stories out of him compared to the ill-mannered laymen that he was displeased to call his schoolmates.

 

Back to the problem at hand, he was being interviewed by the Garrison school board on why he transferred midyear to a new school upstate. They have been observing him since his stints in his old school, and it seemed as if they had trailed him there. Shiro, the elder Garrison operative and his only confidant helped him try to get his story straight, because apparently it isn't  _ ethical _ or  _ legal _ to use canned rocket fuel and gas to make homemade bombs as a science fair project. (Not like Keith was gonna detonate such a thing, what was he, careless?)

Either way, everyone thought he was kicked out, and it wasn't exactly his fault that he was. Fine. It was Shiro's. Or at least he couldn't take all of the blame. He wasn't held totally liable, in the eyes of nobody but himself.  Shiro was the one who got him the nuclear rocket fuel, so in a way, it was his fault. Keith had been staying with Shiro for the better half of last year, hanging around him like a crazy lynx who was attracted to catnip. Shiro, or Instructor Takashi, as everyone around him referred to him as, was different compared to the other teachers and observers that came to his school frequently from the Garrison. Shiro... well, he was easier to talk to. He wasn't as uptight and headstrong as the other officials. Maybe that's how his classmates saw him. Uptight and headstrong, getting into trouble only a week into his new school, ignoring his disciplinary slips and calls to detention with wild abandon.

The first time he knew he could trust Shiro and enlist him as an ally was when he was sitting alone in the library, bouncing his leg up and down as he struggled to retain more knowledge in his brain more than he could in a short period of time. He was growing antsy, because he did the math yesterday, and he was only three percentage points away from a 4.0 GPA. He needed those percentage marks, and every little bit helped. But he was exhausted and was running on little to no sleep for the past 48 hours. He was really getting used to being exhausted. He was the last one left in their well maintained but still musty smelling library, looking over with distaste at the English terms he knows deep down he will never understand. He knows that he needs this, he really needs this, but he just can't find it in him for the life of him.

 

It was at this moment, a barren spot of hopelessness that Keith found himself in quite often did the creaky door swing open, the door rusted around the hinges and desperately requiring an oily tune up. Shiro was almost a head taller than the tallest Garrison members, and he was younger, too. Shiro didn't know why, but he found himself sitting beside the only appropriate person for a Galaxy Garrison candidacy. 

"You don't need to study so hard." He said, sitting across from the wooden laminate desk.

Keith balked. He had no idea why a near total stranger -- and Garrison representative was making small talk with him. What did Shiro expect? For him to divulge his entire life story? Keith didn't know what to say, and he found himself tongue twisted as he so often did. He wasn't good at these situations, at social interaction and the like.

Any other person would find Keith's blatant silence offensive. (And that's what Keith banked on, because quite frankly, he didn't care.) Any other person, but Shiro. Instead, he laughed as if it was all in good nature. "You know, just because I'm from the Garrison doesn't mean you have to ignore me."

At this, Keith looked up. He tried to smile, but his face felt weird and stretched too thin. "Don't take it too personally." Keith said, looking at Shiro.

 

Shiro was taken aback, but he still gave Keith an easygoing smile. "Just saying. You don't have to work so hard. "He said, then hesitated before saying any more. "Either way, you got the slot."

Keith's eyes widened. "What do you  _ mean _ I got the slot already? Aren't you supposed to keep that confidential?" He said, standing up and scooping his notes up in one fluid motion. 

Shiro's eyes glinted and he smiled. "I mean, they didn't ask me to sign a non-disclosure agreement." He said, shrugging before walking away.

 

From then on, Keith knew that he was a contender on the very short list of people that were selected as finalists for the scholarship program. He didn't want to seem desperate, but he needed that scholarship if he even had a chance at getting a good future, a good job. There weren't that many prime schools out there that overlooked your long list of red marks on the character formation card. Luckily at the Garrison, they saw his many disciplinarian reprimands as a sign of Keith's fight, as a sign of his spirit and a rejection to the system.

Figures. Most Garrison operatives were radicals that wanted to rage against the system in the first place. If this was the place to get a good education and good job, Keith knew he was treading lightly. He needed a secure job so he could be secure in his future, unlike the childhood where nothing was ever guaranteed. 

 

Speaking of foster homes and social workers, he really damn hated his social worker. A middle aged, bleached blonde haired woman with blue colored contacts to cancel out the grey sludge of her eyes. Always trying, always tired. She tried to find a suitable habitat for the wild kid that Keith slowly had grown to be, but the last few homes he had been in, well, it was rough. After all, how could a wild one be tamed?

The school he was at last, the one where he made a nuke, that one was the shortest. Seventy-two days. The one before, now  _ that _ was an ugly thing. He was there for almost two years, and every second he spent felt like a special kind of living hell. It was a strange sensation, thinking just how long Keith lasted before eventually having a freak-out that landed him in the school guidance counselors' office.

 

He was tormented in seventh grade, the kids two times taller than him and five times stronger than him picking on the scrawny, withering kid with never enough to eat.

Spray-painting ugly things on his locker doors. Landing him in therapy for the first time. (His social worker, Bethany, swears that it's 'counselling', but Keith knows how to use Google.) The worst part? All of it was true. The one, six-letter word, it was all too true.

So he decided to drop out at the end of grade seven and go upstate for a change. The competition was tighter, the kids were snootier, and everyone was determined to outdo each other. And Keith was bound to outdo everyone as well. It might be what pushed him to make that stupid nuke that could be detonated and flatten a small village. 

 

Writing competitions and arithmetic bees were never his forte, but when the time arose for a friendly science far, Keith cracked his knuckles and got to work. He was going to play anything but friendly. He wanted to win, because every time he tried to get something done, Keith would go for the gold. It was in his nature. Keith worked so hard for every single thing he did. It gave him peace, it gave him sanity to work on something so routine. Every day he would train and study and aspire to be better, faster, smarter. Success was like a drug to him, 

The fair was in six weeks, and just when they announced the fair, did the observers start showing up, each day spending a gradual amount of attention to him as the time went on. Sure, Keith had an abundance of quirky and inventive science fair ideas, but suddenly, his life was flipped upside down and the most pressing thing in the world was no longer his hometown science fair. What began first as an interview at a prestigious school, that was basically the gateway to becoming the world's best and greatest crop of NASA cadets became actually becoming one of the lucky few to explore the great unknown. Thankfully, Keith's upbringing was never an easy one, he knew that if he had to work his way to the top, it would be greatly rewarded, Nothing in life was ever guaranteed for him. The first stage was an informality, but procedure nonetheless. An endless, tumult of questions. What was your background? How would you spend the day? Have you ever heard of our state-of-the-art-world-renown school? The answer to the last question, a four letter word that got him written up for obscenity, preceded by a  _ yes. _

That was how he got into the Garrison. Nothing else mattered but that.

* * *

 

Keith told Lance a summarised version of the story that follows him when he sleeps, and he can feel Lance and his impressed gaze beating down on him. “Woah.” Lance said, smiling to himself in the secret of the night. “That’s really impressive, Keith.”

Keith scoffed. “I bet how you got into the Garrison was really impressive too.”

Lance shook his head and then stopped midway through his thought. “It wasn’t as impressive of that, but I’m proud of my roots.”

“Go on then, tell me how you got into the Garrison.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i guess i'll save it for next chapter, Lance's cool backstory! thanks for reading and as always please support klance writers like myself by kudos-ing and commenting! (seriously when my ao3 notifs are empty my mood drops by like -10. boo)


	7. Why do we still talk like boys?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so yesterday as i'm writing this chapter vld's twitter tweeted [this](https://twitter.com/Voltron/status/1029382281335582721) voltron if you wanna admit you're reading my fic just say it :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dreamworks square up i'm putting out chapters faster than you can kill gay characters

Lance took a deep breath, as he was prepared to divulge every part of his upbringing. “Buckle up Keith. _This is going to be a long story._ ” He paused for a moment. “Keith, are you sure you want to hear my story? It’s not that interesting compared to yours.”

“I have a dead father and an alien mom. I don’t think anything could be as interesting as my upbringing.” Keith joked.

Lance sighed. “Okay, fine. But it’s not that interesting and I’m only telling you because you asked for it.” He said adamantly, as if it were the worst punishment in all the world.

* * *

_Eight years ago_

Lance was always known as the kid with the bright yellow house, the tire swing, and the obnoxious siblings that he had too many of. By a long shot, he wasn't the favorite McClain, not at all. The favorite McClain was the eldest sister, who was smart and headstrong and they called her _‘Ronica_ even if her whole name was Veronica. Not to mention, she was only twelve and all of the aunts were cooing about her Quinces, the only girl to a mother of four. Veronica was young and lively and smart and everyone a mile off loved her dearly. He wasn't the favorite, because he was about as interesting as a rock. And not to mention, out of his three siblings he was the first to reject his Spanish speaking ability, once he moved to America at the age of ten. Because _of course it was_ Veronica, who was was thirteen and could still rattle on Spanish folk tales. Even Luis, three years younger than him could bounce a rubber ball before he could teethe and yet he could still recite Spanish conjugated words.  
  
He was closest to his brother who was just a year old when they moved to America. Marco was sullen and silent and maybe they got along because they were so far apart in age. And if you asked really nicely why Lance didn’t speak Spanish, he would give you a reason that could melt your heart.  
  
Lance was eleven, only living in Arizona for just short of a year, knowing only the English that he overheard whilst Luis was watching _Diego and friends_ — it wasn’t much. He was in school for a short period of time, they had moved in the dead of January and it was only late February, and Lance was just starting to realise that he was no longer in Varadero anymore.  
  
When they were younger, the kids in his class were obsessed with race car drivers and the newest Pokemon reprisal, but Lance liked to read about faraway dystopian cyberpunk societies, about teenagers plotting to overthrow their failed government system, he liked to plan how he might overthrow his government system. He liked reading about interstellar escapades, about people going into space and learning about life unbeknownst otherwise. Safe to say, Lance didn't really fit in. He was a goofball and at times a little quirky, but he wasn't old-school like his relatives, he wasn't as Cuban as his cousins. He too American, if such a thing existed. (Perks of being the eldest, he supposed.) He was himself, he was different in all his glory and he wanted to change the world, instead of just make a pretty penny.  
  
And then he tells his mother, when he's ten years old and in front of all his old-school born and bred relatives his Auntie that smells of basil asks him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A space explorer!” Lance exclaims brightly. And then, everyone in the room laughs. Lance, he was just ten years old but he knew what it meant, he knew what it meant to be laughed at. Even if his mother blushed scarlet red, she played it off and told him a funny little joke about being a lawyer or a doctor because space cadets die. And Lance at that very moment, he felt for the first time ever like he didn't really belong.  
  
And it sucked.

  
  
From that point on, it felt as if a black hole was constantly pulling at him and eating him alive, like there was a gaping hole in the shape of whatever was so direly missing in his life. Every time they passed by a space observatory, or caught a glimpse of a reddish boy reading about the cosmos, his heart pulled on him just a little, but his mother who was tired and overworked and just fresh from a divorce had to pull him by the collar because there is work to be done. There are errands to run. And he tried for the next six years of his life to figure out what it was, even if down in his heart he knew what it was.  
He just wanted to be accepted.  
  
Maybe it was more than that, maybe it was pent up, repressed anger from a childhood long ago manifested into a teenage rebellion, but Lance was never rebellious. Sure, he was reckless and had a complete disregard for the rules, but he never raged against the system. After all, he wasn't sixteen yet. But he was still upset, he was upset that his parents had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, and when he told them, they laughed him his face. So from that point on, not only did he feel like something was missing in his life, but he wanted to prove them wrong. He wanted to prove them all wrong. Sure, Lance had a soft spot for the theatrics and the arts, but he tried extra hard to excel in science, in all fields.  
  
He wasn't passionate about what he was good at, and he wasn't good at what he was passionate about. It was the dichotomy of his predicament. His parents, his grandparents, and everyone under the stars expected him to be a lawyer or take up theater, because Lance loved being extraordinarily out of the ordinary and had a certain sense of flair to him, but it wasn't where his heart was.  
  
His heart was in the stars.  
  
He only liked performing and liked putting on a show, because he was the eldest brother, and it was hard to refuse a cute kid the request of a puppet show or to be the prince to their plastic fairy princess dolls. He liked the accents that always sounded ridiculous, he liked playing pretend because it gave him something to take his mind off, to put him in another situation that wasn't home, because his mother was always working and there were always hungry mouths to cook for and clean and feed. And if he wasn't playing in the land of the giant flying beasts, if he wasn't playing make-believe, he was daydreaming about time and space. He was daydreaming while trying to find a way to care for his siblings, because his mother was too tired and too chewed up and spit out. Because his mother was trying to make it in the new world, in a world that shut the doors as soon as she entered. He was cooking a boxed mac and cheese because his mother had texted him that she would be late, and no questions asked, Lance understood.

 

  
Sofia McClain, his mother, was tired. She had taken up a new job as a nurse, and the pay was fine, but the hours were gruelling. She wanted to work overtime, just for tonight because next week would be Lance’s last birthday before he went into high school, and next week would be when the school admission papers would come in, and all would be cause for celebration. And celebrations for Sofia were synonymous for expensive.  
  
It was worth the struggle for Lance, who had taken up the role of man of the house almost instantaneously. There was nobody else to do it, and even if she was too tired to sometimes thank her child, who was turning fourteen already, she wanted to do something nice for him.  
  
She was just about finished up at the clinic as she packed away her things. Sofia put down her name tag which read out _McClain, Sofia_ in big serifed letters. Now that she thought of it, she really should change her name back to Sofia Alvarez, but her ex-spouse’s surname would come in handy in this new world. Sofia and her family had been living in America for four years, and yet sometimes she felt as if she was still trying to prove herself. As she hopped on the subway and took the red line all the way to the end, she wondered if she would ever see her spouse, her children’s father again.  
  
They had met in Cuba, but he hadn’t a single drop of Cuban blood in him. Rosa had listened to him promise time and time again that he would cross the sky for her, and he proved it by moving to a foreign country just a year after they met. He was from America, from cold and dusty Seattle that they had planned to move to just a few years after Veronica was born. They had a plan, and four bustling children to raise.  
  
But their plans were turned upside down when a sudden wave of alien pandemonium hit the masses. Files were declassified, institutes were set into place, and Lance’s father wanted to enlist in the army. He was on the wrong side of history, or so everyone believed, he wanted to eradicate the threat of aliens and kill them all, it was a new radicalised mindset that many rallied against. Sofia did not.  
  
And under the cover of the night, when he had ingested too much wine and was rattling on about the dangers of aliens to the human society, Veronica and Luis and Marco and Lance’s eyes became big and wide and terrified. So Sofia woke up and bought a one way ticket to Arizona, far away from Seattle and their tiny life in Varadero.

  
  
Nobody said it was ever going to be easy, but it might have been worth the heads up.  
  
Maybe when he was a toddler, old enough to understand basic reasoning and a strong reprimand, somebody should have told him. Someone should have told him that he was born to fulfill a predetermined destiny, that at the end of it more often than not his endeavors would be in vain, that he would have existed on this earth for nought.

 

Someone should have told him, but that someone would have been wrong, because present-day Lance on the day of his fourteenth birthday was bounding through his yellowing house and jumping over small children to pick up the phone, because his endeavors weren't in vain, because now that the Garrison called, he knew that he had a chance to go to space and save the human race. It was a better gift compared to anything that he could have ever dreamt of.  
  
He was going to the Galaxy Garrison in September. He would no longer only be with the stars in spirit, but he would actually, literally be in the stars. Lance felt efflorescent, he felt lucid.  
Not only that, but Lance knew that he would be with similar, like minded people at the Garrison. He’d be with Keith, is what his mind thought, the young prodigious scholar that nobody knew anything about. He tried to think of something else, but the word -- the name, it clung to him and made his insides feel warm even if he couldn't possibly associated face to name. He felt like he was soaring.  
  
And he felt like he was flying already. 

* * *

 

Keith stayed silent for a while after Lance told his story. “Did you feel happy, then? When you got into the Garrison?” He asked. His voice sounded different, rawer and deeper with the tendrils of boyhood behind him. Lance remembers Keith’s pre-pubescent voice, squeaky and always sounded like he had something in his nose.

Lance exhaled. He felt his breath release into the atmosphere in the pitch black room. “I guess. It was one of the happiest moments in my life, that’s for sure.” A pause. Lance was selecting his words carefully. “Were you happy, when you got into the Garrison?”

“I guess?” He asked, intonation making his words seem like questions retaliated instead of whole statements. “It was Garrison or death and I worked so hard to get into the school, so at the end I was mostly relieved.”

 

“What was the happiest day of your life then?”

 

“I dunno. Maybe today. Maybe today.” Keith said blankly. Lance just chuckled in response. “Why do we still talk like boys, when everyone around us expects us to act like adults?” He remarked.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe because time moves weird for us. Maybe we never did grow up.”

“Maybe. But maybe we’re still dreaming. Maybe I’m still in that coma that you saved me from. Remember? The _bonding moment_?” Lance said teasingly. It had become almost an inside joke between them two.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Goodnight, Keith.” Lance muttered, sinking slowly into the bed.

“Goodnight, Lance.” Keith mumbled back, as the two of them fell asleep on opposite sides of the room. It could have been opposite sides of a whole ocean for all they cared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sfhsdj thanks for reading! make sure to kudos n comment they're greatly appreciated :^)


	8. Spacefighter and Skyshooter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quality > quality as the greeks say, sorry for the length of this chapter hopefully the content makes it worthwhile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uHHH i'm so so so so so so sorry i didn't update over the weekend! long story short i got sick and i was in bed and my head hurt so much i could barely type a paragraph forgive me. this chapter is kind of all over the place but it's more coherent than s7 so theres that

Lance wakes up at nine in the morning. He groaned as the realisation that the alarm he set for eight in the morning never went off. He rises slowly. Today was the kind of day that old Lance hated. (The old Lance of course, was young and scraggly and never even left his hometown, let alone his home planet.)

 

The day was hot, unfamiliar, and empty. Lance felt miserable for a second. He felt like that boy newly immigrated from Cuba sitting in the hot hazy sun in a Mexican predominant neighbourhood. He felt like no time had passed. Lance hated it, he hated feeling like nothing had ever happened. If he crawled under the covers and put on his slowest sad song he could pretend that this whole  _ Voltron  _ fiasco never even happened. 

He looked outside the window, to the rest of the world. It was a little foggy out by the lakes. Green Valley was sleepy and arid. It was hot and all the tones were neutral. It was as if the colour was wiped clean of the town. 

The world was moving in slow motion. Lance’s throat was a little sore and his nose was stuffy. Outside, there was only one car in the parking lot, their trailer.

Pidge was hauling suspiciously large crates along with Hunk’s help, and the Alteans looked like fish out of water in regular Earth clothes.

 

Coran strided over to Lance with a bright smile plastered on his face. “You humans never told me Earth fashion was so stylish!” Coran exclaimed, striking a daring pose. “These clothes are more stylish than those of the Unilu pirates!”

Lance chuckled. “You look great, Coran. From afar, you could blend in as a human.”

Lance takes a seat inside the mobile home. Hunk began explaining to Lance how this morning they went into town and had the supplies picked up already, nodding to the large crates inside. He wove a rich tapestry and lay out all the shiny metal parts they had purchased, but nothing really stuck inside Lance’s mind. All the information was going through one ear and passing out through the other.

 

While Lance was not-really-listening, Keith walked in with his hair soaking wet. “What happened to you, Keith? Someone push you into a lake?” Lance teased.

 

Keith frowned. In reality, when Keith woke, he had thought the sky had caved in on itself.

He had thought that he was trapped in Galra prison. He had thought that he had died and was waking in a coffin, buried alive. 

The brief stress that had suddenly been heaved on Keith slowly weaned off. Despite being thrown throw the foster system time and time again, Keith never liked waking in an unfamiliar place. He rose slowly and the air tasted the way forgiveness felt.

Lance was still sleeping. Keith glanced around the room, looking for a clock. The time read 6:07 am. He briefly remembers Lance setting his alarm for eight in the morning. Keith stood up and turned to Lance.  _ Peaceful.  _ He went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  _ Peaceful.  _ Imagine that, Keith Kogane, a person at peace. He never thought of himself as a peaceful person. He had considered himself part hell and part hurting, never wholly peaceful. He took a cold shower as the water refused to heat up, and he was out the door half past six.

 

Now in the harsh light of day, Keith could see the town better. It was a sleepy town on the lakeside, and it felt like life was starting over again.

He wasn’t in the mood to do a five mile sprint up and down the boardwalk, and so instead he took a light one hour stroll. Keith seemed to be moving everywhere lately. Whether he was walking, running, sprinting, or jogging, he always felt like he was running away. (Maybe, he felt like he was running out of time.)

 

Running. It was what Keith did best. When his father died, he ran cross country in the marathon they were training for together. When his middle school teacher told Shiro he wouldn’t be the ideal fit for the Garrison position, he ran off with Shiro’s car,

_ And yet…. _

When he was assigned Black Paladin he ran away. He ran to the Blade of Marmora. When he returned from the Blade he ran from the truth. Keith ran from the aching knowledge he was a phony Marmorite and was always destined to be a paladin. A boy dressing up in man’s clothing.

_ And yet… _

When the Galra occupied the Castle of Lions he ran to Lance’s aid. When Keith returned to earth along with the others he ran like hell from the Galra that haunted his dreams. When they approached the motel, he ran  _ to  _ earth instead of away from it. Somewhere along the way Keith went from running to instead of running from.

He sprinted all the way back to the motel, running from the very realisation itself, and took another shower. Keith needed to wipe the realisation clean from his mind. He knew he was running away, but he couldn’t bear to think why. By the time he had finished showering, he was the last one into the mobile home.

 

When Lance teased Keith, Lance instantly realised what he said was wrong. “ _ Somebody push you into a lake?”  _ When did Lance get so mean?

Lance looked down at his feel guiltily. Sometimes, he didn’t think before he spoke. Keith always thought before he spoke. Lance always saw the gears grinding inside Keith’s head before Keith even said just a simple sentence.

They had another three hours of travel to go before they hit the next town, and in the middle they would stop for lunch. Luckily, Pidge had the foresight to save  _ Monsters and Mana  _ from the now nonexistent castle of Lions and bring it along for the journey. 

“Sweet! You brought Monsters and Mana, nice going Pidge!” Lance exclaimed.

Keith’s frown deepened, as Lance remembers that the first time they played Monsters and Mana was when Keith was still with the Blade of Marmora. 

Lance nudges Keith’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. The game is easy to pick up.”

Keith stifled a small smile in response.

 

As Romelle, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Keith, and Lance settled down to play, a hologram lit up in front of each of their faces.  _ Insert Name _ , the game flashed. Keith blinked at the hologram blankly.  _ K-e-i-t-h,  _ he spelled out.

All of a sudden, Lance began flailing his hands wildly. “No, no! You need to have a cool, edgy username!” Lance exclaimed.

Keith looked down bashfully, hair falling in his face. “I’m not a very creative guy when it comes to usernames.” He admitted.

“Fine. What if you name my character, and I name yours?” Lance offered, to Keith’s chagrin.

“Okay, whatever.” Keith groaned. Sometimes, Lance just had to make everything a game.

The other members stayed silent as Lance thought of a name. They were already accustomed to Keith and Lance’s unrelenting bickering. After a long moment of deliberation, Lance shot up his index finger in the air. “Spacefighter.” Lance decided.

Keith smiled. “I like that. Spacefighter.” He said the word slowly, tasting it. After a pause, he spoke up. “Skyshooter.” 

Lance smiled back. “Skyshooter. That’s a pretty cool name.” He replied, still staring into Keith’s eyes. Lance doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually Hunk clasps his hands, jolting the two of them back to reality.

“Okay, okay, Spacefighter and Skyshooter. Let’s get on with the game.” Hunk says.

 

Keith sighed elatedly. “Team Spacefighter and Skyshooter. Better than Team Purple.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “It happened a year ago, Keith! A year!”

 

The incident in question that the two of them were discussing may have happened a year ago, but for all that they cared it could have happened two lifetimes ago. Keith was still flying in the red lion and Lance was still the pilot of the Blue Lion. They were in the tender infancy of team Voltron, still figuring out how to work as a team.

“Alright, Keith and Lance you’ll be doing the invisible maze today.” Shiro decided.

Keith groaned. They had only been teamed together once or twice. “ _ Lance?  _ Why do I have to be paired with  _ Lance _ ?”

Lance smirked and nudged Keith playfully. “Don’t be such a downer, Keith! Team Purple!””

Keith snorted. “Team Purple? That’s an awful name.” He chastised.

Lance grinned back. “If you have a problem with our team name, think of a better one and get back to me.”

Apparently, Team Spacefighter and Skyshooter was better. Way, way, better.

* * *

 

Keith knew from the get go that he certainly did not enjoy Monsters and Mana as much as Romelle or Allura, and certainly not as much as Pidge, Hunk, and Lance. He knew that there was a certain caliber of fantastical whimsy and creativity needed to fully enjoy this game, a certain amount of creativity he lacked. He couldn’t see why Shiro could ever like this game, but according to the group it had quickly become one of his favourites.

Monsters and Mana prided itself in long turns per player. That meant a lot of time for storytelling and overall chatter. Keith wasn’t particularly good at that either. He was never the conversationalist, since he had the personal philosophy for his actions to speak louder than his words. He would rather participate in a bike race or go on a mountain bike trail if he wanted to get to know someone. Truth be told, games where you had to sit still and talk were never his strong suit.

 

Instead, Keith did what he did best. He observed. Being the quiet observer saved his skin in school, picking up on mundane things like which hand they wrote with ended up letting Keith have the advantage when they used that hand to punch. He decided to observe Lance today. Lance was a mystery to Keith, and Keith hated mysteries. He liked nice simple things with an end and a beginning but Lance was a web of knots intertwined so delicately with everyone else’s life.

Lance’s eyes were so expressive and they were so deep and blue but in certain light they were almost hazel. When he smiled he would smile with all the features of his face, and Keith already knew that Lance would have wicked smile lines when he got older. Keith wasn’t sure whether having smile lines were a good thing or a bad thing.

Good thing. It meant you smiled a lot in your youth. (Keith didn’t expect to grow old with smile lines.)

 

When Keith first met Lance, Keith thought that Lance dyed his hair. It was so light, just a shade lighter than his skin. It was tawny and curly and it looked soft to the touch.  _ Feathery,  _ was the word Keith was looking for.

Lance’s face had a soft dusting of freckles, almost like God himself plastered freckles on him and then erased them halfway. It made Lance look better, not worse.

Lance’s lips were soft and they were perfectly proportioned Keith thinks that they’re kind of sort of maybe ever so possibly perfect. And maybe, Keith wouldn’t mind kissing Lance.

 

And then a terrible, all encompassing wonder filled Keith’s mind. And then a terrible, all encompassing fear and dread and awful sinking feeling filled Keith’s mind.

 

_ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my original title for this chapter was 'run baby run' like from check yes juliet by we the kings  
> too obscure? no?  
> [thanks 4 readin' please send me love and validation by commenting and kudos-ing ily all xo]


	9. Prince of the Galra fire fairies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in today's installment: allura looks killer in a yellow dress and a flower crown, lance thinks the princess is Very Pretty (along with some other people), and keith gets crowned a galra prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is PAINFULLY short i am so so sorry but ahhh its just so cute its adorable i love picnic fics

Keith was staring at Lance. He could see Keith nervously chewing his lip from the corner of his eye, but Lance didn’t speak up. Quite frankly, Lance didn’t really care.

It was his turn, so he rolled the pair of dice and moved ten spots over on the game board. Him and Keith are right on top of each other. His turn ends and his attention falters.

Lance tries not to think of Keith’s stupid face that looks a lost between a mixture of guilty and scared. He looked like a criminal who had just committed a crime. Lance tried to think nothing of it, anyways, Keith’s actions were always a little bit impulsive and a little too brash for everyone’s liking. Sometimes even Lance’s liking, as well.

 

How could it be, Lance wondered, that Keith was just a little bit more human and a little bit more boy and a little bit more genuine than the rest of them when he wasn’t even full Galra in the first place? How could it be that there was a kind of blatant look of humanity and purity and  _ something else _ , something Lance couldn’t put his finger on. 

Lance opened his mouth to speak, but every word he says dies on his lips. 

 

It’s Lance’s turn again, he doesn’t know how much time had passed between his last turn and this turn. He rolls the dice, and Keith’s pupils are trained on him. Lance feels like he’s being hunted. After his turn Lance turns around so Keith’s vice grip of a glare isn’t trained on him. It’s a little easier, breathing room. Eventually Lance turns and moves closer to Keith, and he thinks of how the times have changed. Back when they first were rivals and nothing more, Keith would barely even look Lance in the eye. At least back then, Keith didn’t have a death stare fixated on Lance.

* * *

 

 

Eventually, they stop playing Monsters and Mana and park for lunch. There’s a gas station and a meager, barely there convenience store. They had sandwiches from earlier in the day and Hunk went to the store with Coran to buy drinks and chips.

They found themselves at the summit of all the rolling mountains and sky. They drove ten minutes further and there was not a single man made structure in sight. The mountains were dotted with blue and yellow flowers as far as the eye can see. 

Romelle lays out a checkered blanket and they all sit down to eat. Obviously, the more practical idea was to eat inside the trailer while they were travelling, but this picnic tied into their whole experience. It was part of the experience wholly. 

 

Keith had his back turned to the group and was facing the mountains and the vista. “Enjoying yourself, Spacefighter?” Lance joked, as he crept up on Keith.

Keith jumped in surprise but the emotion never registered on his face. “Oh? Yeah, the view is amazing.”

Lance saw a bloom of red rise in Keith’s cheeks. Was it because Lance surprised him so suddenly? “Oh, come on. You’re telling me that this boring old view is better than a belly of the Weblum?” Lance exclaimed indignantly.

Keith let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah. I think this beats it.” He said, as the two of them looked out onto the view below. They felt like young Gods, with all the world and will and word to create and destroy.

Maybe they didn’t feel like young Gods. Voltron gave them the power to be young Gods in ever right of the word.

 

 

Later in the day, the team had nothing planned and they ended up spending the late afternoon sunbathing and basking in the light. Lance teaches Allura how to make a flower crown.

“So, the first think you want to do is to gather all those leaves, grass, and twigs, and make them into a wreath.” Lance explains, as Allura follows his steps.

“Wow. You’re really good at this, Lance. How did you learn to make these?” Allura asked.

Lance shrugged. “I guess I always kind of knew how? My younger cousins used to force me to make flower crowns for them all the time and I guess I’m just naturally really great at it.” He replied.

Lance took the wreath and deftly wove long stalks of yellow flowers into Allura’s crown. He took the bundle of blue flowers they picked earlier in the afternoon and wove those flowers into his own flower crown. 

Allura put on her crown, and Lance smiled. Her silver-white hair was a beautiful contrast to the green and yellow of her flower crown, which perfectly contrasted the lemon yellow sundress Allura had borrowed from his sister Veronica.

 

“It looks amazing. You look really pretty in that, Princess.” Lance said.

“Thank you, Lance.” Allura replied, a faint blush colouring her cheeks. It just made Allura look even more beautiful.

“Well. This has been fun. I really must go now, and check with Coran if we’re running on track with our itinerary.” Allura said, with a polite smile. She gently takes off the flower crown and places it on Lance’s lap. She stands up and smooths out the skirt of her yellow dress.

She looked really pretty in that sundress and her hair flowing freely in the wind. She looked strangely even more like the princess she always was.

Lance decided to fit his own flower crown, the one with the blue flowers and baby’s breath. He had made the crown a little too big and it rested uncomfortable where his eyebrows were. Lance looked around. Coran or Hunk could fit into the crown he made, but they were nowhere to be seen.

 

However, off to the side and near the edge of the mountains, Keith was eternally quiet, brooding, and sulking with his arms crossed. He seemed to be in deep concentration. “Hey, Keith!” Lance hollered over. “Come here for a ‘sec. I have something to show you.”

Keith walked over with a crooked frown plastered on his face. He took a seat across from Lance on the checkered blanket. Everyone was either at the convenience store buying more food or inside the trailer. They were alone, together. 

“What’s up?” Keith asked, cocking and eyebrow.

Lance held up his bright blue crown. “Well, you see, I spent so long on this and it doesn’t even fit my head! Could you please wear it, just so my hard work doesn’t go to waste?” He asked.

Keith rolled his eyes. “Come on, Keith! Just for a few minutes? Please please please please please!” Lance asked, like a silly little kid.

Keith sighed and swiped the crown away. “Okay. Just for a few minutes and only because you won’t stop bugging me until I say yes.” He replied. Keith’s words were harsh, but he had a lopsided grin on his face.

 

Lance grinned triumphantly as Keith placed the crown on his head. It was itchy and scratchy and hard to put on and harder to stay put, but once it was firmly affixed it felt as if he was wearing nothing.

Lance looked at Keith, stunned. The bright blue really brought out the purple flecks in Keith’s eyes. (Since when did Keith have purple flecks in his eyes?) “Y-you look really cool in that flower crown, Keith. Surprisingly, I think you pull it off.” Lance said, tripping over his words.

Keith jutted his bottom lip out and nodded to Lance’s lap. “Aren’t you going to put your flower crown on?” He asked, referring to Allura’s yellow crown.

Lance wanted to object, but he felt silly refusing to wear a crown when he basically peer pressured Keith to put his on for him. “Oh! Totally forgot.” Lance said, putting the crown on his head.

 

They both spent a minute taking their fill of each other. They both sized each other up. “You look like a Galra prince in that.” Lance whispered jokingly.

Keith laughed. “Nah. My eyes aren’t yellow.” He joked back.

“Maybe the prince of the Galra fairies.” Lance whispered back. It felt like if they spoke higher than a whisper, it would ruin the spell binding the two of them together.

 

“Aren’t fairies earth elementals or something? I thought my element was fire.” Keith said with a chuckle.

  
“Keith, prince of the Galra fire fairies.” Lance said between laughs.

 

They were so close to each other, and Lance could see the long lashes that framed Keith’s eyes. He could make out all the little purities in his irises and Lance could see the baby hairs the sprouted and made Keith’s face look softer than it actually was. The scar on the left side of his cheek was still there, but it was small and quickly fading. Keith had a frown eternally on his mouth, but it didn’t look as battle hardened or mean.

_ Cute.  _ Lance thinks.

 

Wait.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bi lance is rising  
> (pls remember to comment + kudos! love u)


	10. Fundamentals of Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yknow how when ur sad your dog just Knows?? and he'll feel sad with you??? that's basically what happens to kosmo @ keith, but since he's a space dog his abilities are heightened... to say the least.
> 
> content warning: mild homophobic remarks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loooooooove backstory yum yum

Shiro was knee deep in wedding invitation samples when Adam called him from the other room. “Takashi, can you come here for a second? Keith’s dog won’t stop howling.”

Shiro set down the papers in his hand and walked over to Kosmo. He rubbed the snout gently, just as Kosmo liked it. Keith had a long time deciding whether or not he would take Kosmo on their road trip. In the end, while Kosmo  _ was  _ a giant intergalactic teleporting dog, Keith decided that he’d leave Kosmo with Shiro since he had grown a fondness to Shiro on their journey back to Earth.

 

Shiro thinks back to the Black lion, on one of their endless journeys back to Earth. Kosmo kept howling loudly, and nobody knew what the cause of it was. At last, Shiro asked Krolia what was wrong. Keith kept his eyes trained on the inky black abyss ahead.

Krolia petted Kosmo at the far end of the Black lion’s cockpit. “When we found Kosmo he instantly bonded with Keith. He can feel the emotions that Keith experiences, but only reacts when Keith feels extremely strong feelings, like fear, love, or hope.”

Krolia closed her eyes as howls filled the air. “He feels fear.” Krolia explains, as they turn their gaze to Keith. Obviously, Keith would feel fear, who wouldn’t? 

“How will we know if Kosmo feels any other of Keith’s emotions?” Shiro asked.

“Kosmo barks when he feels Keith experiencing hope, and he whimpers when Keith feels love.” Krolia explains.

  
  


Shiro keeps petting Kosmo presently, as Adam looks on in worry. “Kosmo’s howling. That means Keith feels scared. The team could be in danger.”

Adam’s eyes shot up. “What does that mean? Should we call them back?”

Shiro fumbled at his hip for his cellphone and calls Keith. Keith always picks up after the second ring. He hasn’t picked up yet. The dialtones fill the air.

 

“Wait. ‘Kashi, wait.” Adam said with his brow furrowed.

Keith hasn’t answered the phone yet. “Not now, Adam. The team is in trouble.”

“Shiro!” Adam exclaimed, as Keith’s phone went straight to voicemail. “Look. Kosmo isn’t howling anymore.”

Keith declined Shiro’s phone call. Keith never declines his calls. 

Kosmo kept howling, but he was whimpering, too.

 

_ Fear and love. Kosmo feels Keith experiencing fear… _

_ but also love. _

* * *

 

“What’s that?” Lance asked, looking around at the source of the ringing phone.

Keith’s face heated up. Shiro was calling him, and Keith instantly hit decline. “No one. Just a wrong number.”

Lance’s face contorted weirdly, but he didn’t press. “Well, I guess it’s time to go back in.” He said with a chuckle, folding up the blanket. 

Keith sighed and walked back in. And there goes the moment, totally ruined. Damn you, Shiro.

  
  


When they enter the trailer five minutes later, Allura is talking animatedly on her phone. “Oh yes, we’re perfectly fine! Never better!” Allura said, hanging up and turning off the phone. 

“Who was that?” Lance asked.

 

“Shiro. For some weird reason, he was afraid we were in trouble.”

Keith’s heart was pounding. He frowned and stormed off into the washroom, it was the only place he was truly alone. Lance could simply not give Keith a break for him to figure out his feelings. There was forty five minutes left of the drive, and Keith just wanted some time to himself.

 

He could barely get even that, because Lance  _ goddamn  _ McClain was around every corner with his easy smile and his expressive eyes and his floppy hair. Lance was across the couch when Keith woke from a nap and behind him at the convenience store line. Lance was everywhere, and it certainly wasn’t his fault which made it worse. They were in a compact area living together for a few months, so obviously they would run into each other at every possible moment. It was misery on Earth, because Lance was unintentionally trailing Keith like a dog, with no privacy for him to figure out how he felt for a certain caramel coloured boy.

* * *

 

It was no surprise that Keith liked boys. Or, maybe it was.

Summer before he went off to the Garrison, that’s what it was. He was trapped in a detention room with all the other little delinquents but he didn’t quite mind. School was a drag and it was a little rougher around the edges compared to the other schools in the district, but it was better than going back to his foster home.

 

The walk to his school was as long and arduous as it was hot and grueling. He had time to think on his thirty minute walk in the sun on what this opportunity -- on what getting into the Galaxy Garrison-- could mean for him. It was an opportunity, but at the same time it was an awakening, a slap of reality begging him to grow up. He had known already that Keith had grown up too fast compared to the others, but this time he would be living on his own, truly alone in  a great big building with great big kids that hardly knew who he was. And suddenly the great big world was too great and big for a scrawny kid who had just turned fifteen. A kid with lanky limbs and a steadfast soul and suddenly he realized that he was truly alone. The great big truth, the great big afterthought that he feared since birth. He was alone.

 

Detention in the summer times seemed to be more desolate than in the school season. Then again, Keith had only served two or three detentions at this school before realizing that this school's disciplinary system wasn't quite as sophisticated as his previous school's, and he realized that they weren't actually tracking who entered the detention hall and who didn't, so he skipped at every opportunity that he could. It was only until very recently did he learn that the accumulated skipped detentions served as summer time. 

They were desolate since the teachers were all tired and underpaid and just aching for a little bit of sun, but instead they have to chaperone the four kids who looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there. Aside from Keith there was another boy just his age, with pea green eyes and brown hair that glinted gold in the fluorescent light. Keith watched and the boy's leg bobbed up and down impatiently as he smiled to himself. The other two were girls who looked to be at odds with each other. One of them was almost infamous, filthy rich and a 4.0 GPA, it almost always ended up being the rich with their parent apologists swooping in to lessen their detention sentence. Another reason why Keith avoided detention at all costs. The other girl had hair that was dyed a jet black with honey blonde roots leaking through and looked as whip smart and cunning with her side smirk. Keith looked away. 

 

The boys in the back were in detention for skipping class. They had braces and acne scarred over, but they still loved to talk about girls in that objectifying way that they did. 

“...oh, her? She’s a real cutie.”

“I’d love to stick my..”

The conversations faded in and out of Keith’s earshot. They were staring at the girl with the paper white skin wearing crazy-rich clothing and the other one with dark black hair and chewing pink bubblegum.

“Hey, Kogane!” They yelled. Keith tore his gaze from the kid with the pea green eyes and the curly brown hair and the beat up skateboard shoes. Keith was watching him draw a popular video game character.

 

Keith raised his eyebrows. “What do you want?”

“What do you think of her?” One of the kids asked, clicking his tongue in the direction of the girl with black hair. Keith scowled. Why would he care? The way the kid licked his lips made Keith feel uncomfortable.

“Her? She’s alright, I guess.” Keith replied.

The boy scoffed. “She’s smoking hot. Maybe you’re just too busy ogling Leo there to see how beautiful she really is.”

 

The girl kicked the chair in front of her down. Keith chuckled, turning to face them. “You know, I’m surprised that you know what the word  _ ogle  _ means.” He replied with a shrug. Leo, the one with the green eyes and the beautiful curly hair, he scoffed.

The boy shoved Keith into the wall, grabbing bunches of his clothing. “You know what, Kogane? You’re so gay, you can’t even  _ think  _ straight.”

Keith spent the next few moments frozen, hearing slurs hurled at him and braced himself for impact. He used to think it was a curse that he never knew his birth parents, but maybe he was lucky. He never had parents that were there to tell him that being gay was wrong. 

 

The sun was low into the horizon but no one was stopping Keith from using their school's running track. As soon as the creaky bell chimed in the lonely hallways and the bored teacher gave the decrepit lot a once-over, he was practically bounding out the door, crossing the expansive green and running onto their newly paved running track, tiny spots of heat bubbling beneath the surface, a result of the Arizona summers breathing down their backs. He wasn't the strongest, but he always was the fastest kid on his track and field team. Whenever he could hear the gun or the whistle crack through the air like a lightning bolt, it was almost second nature for Keith to close his eyes and imagine him running away from whatever his life was now, running towards the great impenetrable unknown with wild abandon. He was always smarter and quicker and  _ hungrier _ but he was also smaller and more different and inquisitive and strange. He always won the metallic gold medals and even if he lusted after them to put in a trophy collection somewhere in a suburban house he had always dreamed of, Keith knew that it would never be the case. He always gave the medals to the school, to add to the decrepit awards collection.

 

Keith loved running. He loved feeling the wind beneath his feet and he loved running not just for sport. He ran to school and he ran to the farmer’s markets, he ran to get the mail in the backyard because nobody ever taught him how to slow down. Like how nobody ever told him that his dream to go to space was stupid. There was nobody to kill the local dreamer building a home in his heart. When Keith was little, really little, he wondered where his parents went, and why they never really stayed. He wondered if he had a normal upbringing, would his parents push him to the stars like how he pushed himself? He knew, deep down, that the answer was no. He knew of such a thing because his parents were above all, good people. He wanted to give them that. He knew that his parents would push success like a drug, like money is what grants happiness. Like Earth is the only option. Keith was never scared of the stars, instead he was scared of what he might become if he grew up the same as everyone else.

Maybe if he grew up the same as everyone else, he would look at that girl, that pretty paisley girl with the house on the hill with the 4.0 grade point average and she would look back. And he would look at the classroom clock and they would share a look. Maybe if he grew up the same as everyone else, he would be exchanging cigarettes with the blunt bob jet back hair of a girl, and her black lipstick would stain his lips grey instead of running the track like a madman free from an asylum.

  
  
  


He was running and running and every time Keith ran he believed that he beat his personal best, but he never really knew, because no one ever timed him. And he could feel his pulse quickening and his heat settling in his chest and he's trying, trying to do everything to stay afloat but his hands are shaking because reality likes to hit him at the best moments possible.   
  


Maybe if he grew up the same as everyone else, he wouldn’t play with the fundamentals of loving like he did when he saw the green eyes, truer than any amount of money and greener than any box of hair dye.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bro this chapter was a mess but pls comment n kudos on it! the more people that comment = more motivation to write/faster updates!!!! luv uu


	11. Self-destructive Telltale Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming to terms or coming out?
> 
> content warning: brief mention of anxiety-attack related symptoms, and brief mention of postpartum depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final huge backstory plot dump hopefully! god i love writing slowburns but i really really want to write a cute klance makeout scene AW keith kissing the tip of lance's nose as lance blushes loads n loads n loads???? skgsklgh

After a few hundred coin flips, the rotation for the bedrooms was set in place. Today, Keith would be bunking with Hunk. Thank God for that, since now Keith had to figure out all of these… _feelings._

There was something more there. Something deeper hidden behind the shiny veneer Keith hid behind. Keith’s facade hid behind snide remarks and everything under the sun. There very well could be more behind what his actions showed.

Maybe that was what Keith’s fickle, awful, telltale heart saw.

Where did he go wrong? The muffled voices from behind the cheap plastic door swarmed Keith and threatened to swallow him alive.

 

Suddenly, Keith couldn’t breathe. The world from the tiny square of a bathroom mobile home was closing in on him and he felt no escape. The cold, gripping reality curdled in Keith’s veins. The hunger boiled over and he felt it rising in his throat, in his lungs, in his heart.

He couldn’t breathe. His lungs felt like they had collapsed in on themselves.

 

Keith had crushes on boys before. Hell. he kissed a few boys before back in his prime. But Lance was different. Lance was his teammate and he was his friend. They were rivals and enemies and they teased at each other every which way. Crushing on boys wasn’t a new concept, but it was _Lance._ Lance.

No matter how much he tasted the name on his lips it would forever feel foreign and strange on his lips. Their chemistry and the way they worked as a team was undeniable, but Lance could barely stand Keith, surely.

It might have meant something to Keith, the way they stared at each other wearing flower crowns in the setting sun, but to Lance it meant nothing. As soon as they walked back in Lance tore apart the flower crown just to braid the flowers into Allura’s hair.

It was always meant to be Allura and Lance. They were the epitome of the perfect couple. They worked just as well together as him and Lance did. And, Lance would be with Allura, someone from a gender that Lance was actually attracted to.

The thought made Keith’s stomach turn.  

 

Keith doesn’t know how much time wears off but eventually he opens the bathroom door. The first thing Keith observes is how Lance laughs easily as he braids the flowers from the flower crown Lance previously had on his head into Allura’s silver hair. Lance’s laugh fills the room and Keith growls, low and gutting and it feels like something anguished.

 _It doesn’t matter,_ Keith thinks. _Lance would be better off with Allura_ , Princess of Altea, anyways.

Not like he cares. Keith doesn’t care at all.

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Lance cares. He cares that Keith saw him braid the flowers into Allura’s hair. (He doesn’t know _why_ he cares, though.) Lance cares that Keith was always around for every romantic endeavour that Lance had made.

Lance never expected to care, that was never part of the job description. He was never tasked to care about this stupid, stubborn, insurgent, and brash boy. But after being through Hell and back and saving the universe a couple of times, Lance cares for this idiot. (He still doesn’t know why.)

 

He cares what Keith thinks. Lance had developed a soft spot, a weakness.

A fatal fucking flaw.

 

And that was when it hit him. Lance cared so damn much, because Keith had always cared for _him._

* * *

 

Sure, it was a diversity slot, but Lance didn't mind.

 

He read their email and listened to the recorded phone call over again. His unique upbringing as a person of color can help them gain more insight. It was as his mother said, they were giving him the spot because he was Cuban, and Lance was never prouder to be a Cuban than at that moment. His interviews and the like had flown by in a daze, them visiting his high school instead of traversing all the way to California. Lance couldn't have been happier that he was going to his dream school, but something unsavory stuck at the back of his throat and clung to him like a slick poison.

The truth bluntly put, was that his single mother of four was trying to compensate for the loss of another main provider by working a primary job as a nurse and taking up odd jobs wherever she could. By going to the Garrison, they would have to live well beyond their means. The school was expensive as it was elite. Because of Lance's mother withholding their financial status from her children, it took Lance a little while before he finally realized that his expensive schooling was putting a strain on their household funds. He left it up to himself, to take up jobs on the side, even if it meant flipping burgers for less than minimum wage as his summer job.

 

School ended with less than a flourish just a few months before. A small ceremony with kids wearing creased shirts and tooth-gap smiles holding up parchment paper diplomas, everyone was eager to head to high school, but Lance felt an unfamiliar sort of dread as he imagined the ways that his mother could not find to compensate for his tuition. Not very bright things to think about as you're having your grade school graduation photos taken. He didn't want to tell his mother, because she always pushed education first, education above all that was good in the world.

Lance had ended up at a mall just fifteen blocks down from his yellowing house, and he was fourteen years old but felt a lot older, the new world putting the strain of a society that didn't want him not just on his mother, but on him, too. He applied for an understaffed yet adequately busy bookshop, because the scenery was quiet as it was well paying. It kept him busy during the days, but left him with enough free time to let his mind wander. Lance had always loved books, albeit not being the most bookish person.

 

He loved to be surrounded by others and going out with others, but some days he just wanted to learn about a land far away. Some days, it had just felt right. In the bright heat of the languid, sleepy summer, the cool and sweet smelling bookstore felt right. He had spent most of his days tucked in a nook at the corner of the store, far enough for the weight of the books to drone out the city sounds yet close enough for him to attend to a customer if the time comes. He got home before his mother did and left after his mother did, so she was inconspicuous to her son's well-natured deeds. The minimum wage in Arizona was a flat ten dollars, and after working a fifty hour work week, his boss that looked perpetually tired had given him his first paycheck in an envelope -- five hundred dollars. It felt like a fortune to him, the money rifling in the thinly papered envelope. He would be going back to school in a month by late September, but what little money he could provide could help his siblings get that ice cream bar that was always too expensive for them.

 

As he walked into his mothers room on the last Friday before heading to the Garrison, Lance opened his tin box and counted the money carefully. Two thousand dollars would be just enough for them to live a little bit more than what they were living right now. Sometimes there were shortages, a vegetable or dish that his mother couldn't make because she didn't have the money to go to the grocery that week, the thinning of leftovers before a big payday. They weren't starving, but the McClain children could use a little more padding on their bones. He opened the cabinet and pushed away some of his mother's clothes. Lance’s mother thought she had hid her money well, but once, when Lance went looking for Christmas presents he had found it by accident, but instead of taking from the eternally depleting funds, Lance added to it. He put his month long salary in the wooden box that was never locked, and tried to sleep even if his mind was racing with plans for the next day.

  


Their mother woke up last, doe eyed with dark shadows plaguing her under eyes, but alive with a kind of soft spirit they have never seen. Lance feels bad for his siblings, but a little bit. They're always nonsensical and whimsical because they don't know any better. They always tire their mother out too soon because she always tries to stay afloat for their sake. But Lance remembers, he remembers just a little bit. Vague bits of memory swimming in fog and mist and a little bit of wisteria. A panicked mother with three young children and one more on the way, with trembling hands filled with passports and papers and making sure everything was in tact. He remembers small glimpses of beforehand, before they had a life and a home and whilst his mother was stuck in almost a hazy trance, clutching five-year old Lance so tightly as she weeps into the cradle of a newborn child. Postpartum depression, was what the doctors called it. And Lance remembers six year old him climbing into the bed of his mother, the great big double bed where his father never slept. Where his father was supposed to sleep after they tucked the children away.

 

Lance almost barely remembers his father, quiet and brooding and always thinking something radical. He has the same crystal eyes as him, and so does Veronica. Marco and Luis, their eyes are like their mothers, carrying sadness as if it was adrift without shore. As Lance looks at his mother in the early morning dawn, she swigs back a sip of coffee and reaches for the car keys.

 

Lance closed his eyes and let the drive wash over him. During the graduation ceremony, rumours of the kid from the middle school the next town over flooded the air.

 

“Did you hear that Keith made a bomb?” One classmate said. Lance grimaced.

“Well, I heard he gave up the diversity slot and asked for a full tuition!” Another one exclaimed. God, could Lance do with a full scholarship.

 

Even before he got into the Garrison, he was already living in Keith’s shadow. The diversity slot was supposed to be given to Lance, but instead it was given to Keith. He was always belittled compared to Keith, long before he met him and long after he left.  He was always made fun of, but Keith was never the perpetrator.

For that reason, Lance was intrigued. Lance cared, since that boy who gave Lance pitiful smiles and helped him in the simulator ended up being his right hand man and his space ranger partner. Keith would bite back and make snide remarks but only when Lance picked and prodded and instigated and teased.

 

It was a fundamental truth of his existence that Lance liked girls. But Keith. Keith..

Allura was pretty, and Nyma was very pretty as well.

But Keith… Keith…

Is that it? Did Lance think they were just pretty faces?

Certainly not. Allura was a skilled warrior, and Lance had always thought Nyma was rather street smart. But Lance had seen Keith make a switchblade out of whatever available materials there were, and seen him take down a fleet of Galra cruisers.

 

Now was not the time for Lance to question the fundamental truths of his existence, but perhaps it never was. The night was young and the moon was waning, and nobody was shooting him out of the sky. Nobody was drowning him in the ocean and the heavens weren’t falling. The air was warm and sweet and maybe the timing was never right, but he could have the breathing room he needed. As Keith stormed out Lance knew one thing for certain.

 

Lance was sure that to some capacity he liked Keith, but he wasn’t sure if he liked boys in that way.

He decided that maybe he could find it in his heart to find the capability to like Keith. He could see it happening, liking Keith.

Maybe, eventually...

 

He’ll _love_ him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 readin! pls make sure to kudos and comment if ya liked it :^)


	12. One star in the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is juicy. last time on our favourite earth space opera: lance was in a crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR OVER A WEEK WHO AM I. to apologize i wrote an extra juicy long chapter with loads of cute bits. oh and there's a title reference. lol

Lance found himself unequivocally miserable. After this realisation that he could find it in his heart to love, everyone carried on as usual. Lance was busy dealing with the gripping reality that he was  _ gay _ .

 

Not that it was a bad thing, but it felt weird. It felt like those two things never matched, him and being gay. 

But there were other labels too, weren’t there? Maybe he was bisexual. But bisexuality felt too constricting. He didn’t know what to call himself. That was okay. That was a problem for tomorrow.

 

Everyone else was out running errands or preparing to save the universe until the late afternoon, but Lance just couldn’t find it in him to get out of the bed he had been lying in since they arrived a few hours ago. 

The sun was quickly dipping into the horizon. He needed to get out of here. Lance had been assigned the one for the night who was given a room all to himself. While at the time he as gloating about getting some peace and quiet, the room seemed too peaceful. And definitely too quiet.

Somewhere in the corner of his mind Lance briefly remembered that he was eighteen, and if he wanted he could walk into a bar and drink alcohol. Not that he was particularly fond of getting drunk, but it was one of those things that a child thinks of, one of the prohibitions of growing up.

 

So there it was. Lance was eighteen, bored, confused, and wanted to get out of his constricting hotel room. He walked over to Hunk’s hotel room. Whilst Pidge was more susceptible to whatever shenanigans Lance had planned, she was mournfully underage. Hunk however, turned eighteen just before Lance. Both of them had yet to test their tolerance to alcohol.

Tonight seemed the perfect candidate for a little bit of mischief and fun.

 

 

 

The walk in the hallways felt barren and lonely as Lance’s steps resounded along the hollow walkway. Hunk’s room was down the hall, across in room 801 from where Lance was.

 

Lance knocked once, and then twice.. He waited until Hunk swung open the door and faced Lance. The door was open just enough for Lance to see Hunk and the ceiling of his hotel room.

He was ready to feel that slight buzz of alcohol. It wouldn’t be the first time, since his friends from the neighbourhood often offered him a few swigs of beer in his youth.

 

“Hey, Hunk!” Lance said, smiling with all the features of his face. “You’re of legal age, right?” Lance asked rhetorically, since he knew too well that Hunk was old enough to drink.

Hunk furrowed his brow. “Yeah? Why do you ask?”

Lance rolled his eyes. He tried to muster up that same old courage he used to contain right before sneaking out from the Garrison. “C’mon, Hunk! There’s a bar the next road over!” He exclaimed.

Hunk still looked suspicious but he opened the door a little wider. “Why the sudden urge to get drunk?” He asked.

“No sudden urge! I just remembered that we can legally drink.”

Hunk still looked suspicious, but he motioned to close the door before hesitating. “Oh, wait!” He exclaimed, eyes lighting up.” He pulled open the door and stuck his head in. “Hey Keith, do you want to come with us?”

Lance’s eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. Hunk looked at Lance.  _ What _ ? He mouthed.  _ I thought you want Keith were friends _ ?

Lance rolled his eyes. “We are.” He whispered back as Keith made his way to the door.

Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets. He had a stupidly smug look on his face as Lance sighed. “I was going to polish my knives instead. But okay.” He replied with a shrug, kicking the door shut and walking in step with the other boys.

Lance groaned. This was going to get a hell of a lot more difficult.

 

Lance tried to hide his snarl, this wasn't part of the plan. Lance was supposed to get drunk all  _ because  _ of Keith!

Heaven knows what a drunk Lance would do to Keith.

* * *

Keith was miserable. At least, to his elation, Lance was miserable too.

He didn’t know why Lance was miserable, but watching Lance squirm and whine helped Keith wipe the stupid crush he had on Lance out of his mind.

 

When he got invited to go to the bar with Lance and Hunk, the first thing he felt was white hot anger. As they step into the elevator, Keith spins his knife in his hand. (Butterfly knife with a custom bamboo grip. Diamond infused luxite blade. Eight inches with a sapphire infused edge. One of the first hybrids of Earth tech and space tech, exquisite.) He sheaths it in his boot as all sorts of anger bubbles up in him

 

Why should he go? Why did they think that all of a sudden they save the universe a couple times together and now they’re drinking buddies? Why does Keith  _ care _ ?

But one look at Lance’s stupid face is enough to push him over the edge. So yeah, Keith is angry. But Keith had been angry his whole life, so there’s nothing new there.

 

As they walk to the bar, Keith thinks that it is simply improbable that he has a crush on Lance. It’s just not possible, there was just no way. Lance was obnoxious and never thought before he spoke. He made bad decisions and never thought things through.

And yet, all of the things that sounded like what Keith would do. He was the impulsive one, not Lance. Lance on the other hand would always think things through and think of the consequences. He was a team player. He never missed a shot when they needed it critically timed. He saved people’s skin over and over and time after time. 

Lance was level headed. Keith was impulsive.

_ Stable.  _ That was what Lance was. Lance was stable and Keith could not have a chance with Lance, that idiot boy.

 

As they arrived at the bar, Lance was gushing about things Keith couldn’t bother to pay attention to. Lance was talking about how much he missed human girls. It was excessive, really. Even for Lance.

“Blondes. Oh my god, and red heads! I missed earth ladies.” Lance gushed. Keith grimaced. Lance was starting to sound like those boys back at Keith’s school. Those boys that beat up Keith.

“Okay. I like blondes and red heads, but my personal favourite is girls with jet black hair and really pale skin. I just like girls in general.” Lance said, blinking wildly as they walked inside.

Keith frowned.

 

The bar was old and musty and crowded with people all around their age. In this small corner of the universe nobody knew them as the Paladins of Voltron, and it felt good to go around and be unrecognized. 

While Lance was eager to get drunk, Hunk and Keith could barely say the same. Lance instantly ordered a round of beers and gulped it down hungrily before breaking off and delving into the crowd of people. 

Keith and Hunk made small talk, the usual. Catching up on situations, marveling at what they have experienced so far, nothing new. The night was still young but the crowd thinned out considerably. 

 

But it had been an hour, and now Lance was pressed up against a wall, and there was a boy who was taller than him and lankier than him and his eyes were an almond shape but his mouth was curled into a sneer. He looked threatening, and Keith knew a threat like the back of his hand from defending enemies far and wide. Lance was very clearly drunk, and the man looming in front of him wasn’t. It looked terrifying, but Lance was so out of it he could barely walk straight.

Keith took a step forward and grabbed his luxite blade. Hunk was calling out for Keith, but Keith didn’t hear him. Lance was Keith’s right hand man. Lance was Keith’s teammate. Friends protect friends, always.

“Can I help you?” Keith said, cocking an eyebrow and placing a hand on his hip. Suddenly he’s reminded of the space mall, holding ridiculous poses and extravagant blades. But this isn’t a mall, it’s a bar. And that isn’t a familiar face.

The boy grinned back. It made the hairs on the nape of Keith’s neck prickle. “I’m just giving your  _ friend  _ a ride back to my place.” 

Keith shook his head and yanked Lance from his grip. The boy was taken off guard by how small yet strong Keith was. “Not a chance. He’s coming with me.”

Keith picked Lance up as they made their way to Hunk, who had called a cab during the confrontation. The guy was chasing after them, but his gait was all wrong. Maybe he was intoxicated, after all. “You come back here with that cutie!” The boy hollered. Keith tried to fight the heat rising in his cheeks.

 

Instead, Keith turned around and threw his knife at the boy, knowing just the perfect angle to just leave a scrape on his ear. 

They hop in a cab with Lance turning a sickly green. “What ‘bout your knife?” Lance slurred.

Keith shook his head. He had five more in the trailer. And anyways, that blade needed sharpening a long time ago. It was dull when it made contact with the boy and it would barely leave a mark.

* * *

 

Keith unceremoniously dumped Lance into his bed. He didn’t have much experience with drunk people. He wouldn’t expect Lance to throw up, since Keith had never even seen Lance throw up. Did that boy even have a gag reflex?

Lance blinked slowly. His pupils were dilated and his hair was a mess. He reeked of alcohol. Someone else must have offered him a drink because there was no way that Lance got that wasted from just a bottle of beer.

 

“Will you be okay?” Keith whispered. He wondered if Lance’s hearing sensitivity got any better or worse.

Lance groped at the wall and hit the light switch. “M’fine. Maybe.” Lance said. Keith thought that Lance was probably already half asleep.

Keith nodded. He took one look at Lance, whose eyes were drooping immensely. He looked cute like this. Sleepy and sullen. He looked more like an adult growing out of his boy features, different to how they entered this adventure together.

Keith turned on his heel and walked out of the room, opening the door softly and slowly as not to wake up Lance. “No.” Lance croaked out.

 

“Stay.”   
  


Keith blinked slowly. The word resonated in his mind, like the only word his mind knew.  _ Stay _ .

 

Lance’s hand was outstretched, and Keith grabbed Lance’s hand.  _ He’s drunk, and he won’t remember this. He won’t remember the one time he kept his mouth shut. The one time he looked like God had carved this boy himself. His own flesh and blood. _

He took Lance’s hand and sat down on the opposite side of the bed, because Lance will never like Keith back and Lance will never remember this. Lance was flopped down on the bed and his wide murky blue eyes were staring at Keith. Keith was staring at Lance.

They still felt like they were on opposite ends of an ocean, but their hands were connected and their eyes were trained on one another. They felt infinite. 

 

“Can you just lay here?” Lance whispered. Lance felt like a small child.

Keith shook his head and let go of Lance’s arm. “You’re drunk, Lance. You need to rest.”

Keith stood up again. Hunk would be looking for him. He needed to leave. Lance moved closer to Keith and grabbed at his wrist. “I can’t rest. Not in this room. It’s too quiet.”

Keith frowned as he took a seat beside Lance. “Every time I close my eyes it's too quiet. I don’t want to be alone, Keith. I just don’t want to be alone.”

 

Keith looked around the room and sighed. Lance needed this and possibly Keith needed it, too.

Keith lay down beside Lance. When Lance fell asleep he would move to the other end of the room in the empty double bed. For now they have this. Sleeping in the same room, sleeping in the same bed, but miles and miles away. 

  
“Promise me you won’t leave me.” Lance slurred. And even if Lance was drunk, Keith wanted it so badly to be true. He wanted Lance to mean it.

Keith smiled sadly. “I won’t leave you, Lance.” He said, voice breaking a little bit. Lance was just more than a crush to Keith. Lance was so much more.

“Even in the morning. We ran from Cuba in the night and woke up in the morning and everyone I loved I had left. Don’t leave me. I’m your… your… right hand man.”

Keith smiled and chuckled and felt life swallow him whole. “I won’t leave you, Lance. Ever.”

Lance nodded and closed his eyes.

 

“I want to go home.” Lance said after a comfortable silence, swallowing his saliva and closing his eyes sleepily.

Keith blinked at Lance. “Do you want us to drop you off somewhere and you can get a plane ride home?” Keith said, entertaining Lance even if it was just drunk babble.

Lance smiled and shook his head. “I’m good. My mom don’t really feel like home anymore. More like a memory. Of who I once was.” He said, words slurred and slightly sleepy.

 

“One star in the sky leads the soldiers home.” Keith said, clear and loud as crystal, bright and loud and brilliant. He said the words like a spell. “That’s what my mom told me. She told me it all the time.” He said. Suddenly his mother, Krolia, felt a lifetime away. It was how Lance put it: his mother felt like a memory of who he once was.

“That makes a lot of sense. Do you think we found the star that leads us home? That leads the soldiers home?” Lance asked.

Keith shook his head. “Not yet. We haven’t found our home yet.” Keith paused, for just a heartbeat. “I was always told that home is just one thing, one person, one star in the sky. We’ll find our home soon.”

 

“I think I’ve found my home in you.” Lance said, but Keith couldn’t trust it. Lance was already sleeping when Keith opened his mouth to speak next.

Instead, Keith spoke to the stars. The stars that led him home. “I think I found a home in you too, Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so get this: the original quote from the title was supposed to be "one star in the sky leads the SAILORS home" and i've always loved that, i just changed the sailors to soldiers to match keith and lance bc i thought it was just one of those quotes like keep calm and carry on but ITS NOT???? its a damn dan and phil reference? lol i love dan and phil too much man


	13. Stability and Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dedicate this chapter to the one who taught me hell and hurting and healing and health. you may never love me like i love you, but we're interstellar, always <3
> 
> i was writing this draft during english class and everyone saw me tearing up. they thought i was very passionate about gerunds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my sincerest apologies for slacking off in the last 3 weeks. for that, i give to you the cutest and longest chapter of this story. 3.3k words of pure cute adorable amazing-ness. hope u enjoy

This is what Keith wishes for. 

 

He wishes that Lance will wake up and in this peaceful and tranquil dreamland Lance isn’t hungover. He’s bright and beautiful and he looks immaculate. His face is forever smiling and he says something witty. Keith laughs back. There’s laughter and laughter and laughter. Lance tells Keith that he remembers last night, and those words stir something deep within Keith’s soul. Keith dreams of the way he anxiously gulps and his hands tremble and Lance gives him a soft smile. Lance chokes out a  _ thank you _ . They share a moment together. 

 

This is what Keith wishes for.

 

He wishes that Lance wakes up and chokes out a sob. “When will I finally feel like I belong to this world?” Lance whispers.

Keith touches Lance’s shoulder. They stop dancing around each other. Keith holds Lance’s hand. This is what Keith wishes for. “Now. You belong to this world right now.”

And something infinite and beautiful and pure shines forth. And Keith looks to the heavens and finds his peace.

 

He wishes that Lance knew that it could be so wholly capable of loving Lance for his intellect. Keith had witnesses so many self degrading jokes and he had choked back on words that sounded too sincere. Keith wishes that Lance  _ knew  _ how much Keith liked Lance’s brain. He thought that the eccentric and eclectic way that Lance thought was so quizzically unique and it made no sense and yet perfect sense at all. Keith wishes that Lance knew how brilliant. He wishes he could lift Lance up and bring him to safety, bring him to the stars. Keith wishes above all, that he could carry Lance to safety but he knows that isn’t true. Lance has to bring himself to safety. Lance needs to lift himself up and bring himself to the heavens. The most Keith could do was stand back and watch. He understood the homesickness, the pain. The loneliness of having no real home in the world after becoming someone else. That was a kind of pain you could only experience alone.

 

However, this is what Keith wakes up to.

Lance was still sleeping when Keith rises. Still sleeping, but his arms were outstretched and mere centimetres away from Keith’s hip. Lance was still sleeping on the other end of the bed as if he was on the opposite side of an ocean. Keith felt like that a lot with Lance, like they were on two opposite ends of an ocean. He felt like that right now. 

In this moment, Lance’s arms were outstretched as if he wanted to cross that ocean. Keith slowly rose, watching Lance’s sleeping figure for a moment. Lance looked peaceful, no trace of the boy who saved the world.

Keith moved the pillows sideways to occupy the space where Keith lay and mussed up the sheets on the other bed to make it look more slept in. Keith moved to the door, but something stopped him. Lance’s words from last night echoed in his brain.

 

“ _ Stay.”  _

“ _ I think I’ve found a home in you.” _

 

These words, they felt like a mortal’s chosen, a God’s cursed.

There was a fleeting moment of wanting that bled in Keith’s heart so terrifyingly. In this moment, he wished to be loved. Keith wished that the boy that slept next to him would love him back. He wished that someone,  _ anyone  _ would love him. Keith wished such a small thing, but really,  _ truly _ , he knew in his heart there was only one person that he wanted to be loved by.

The person that was kind and eclectic and funny. The person that was a little rude but always friendly. The one who made inappropriate jokes and made  _ this  _ feel like home.

Lance McClain. The absolute death of him.

 

He wants to run out the door and leave, but he knows that he’s better than that. He knows that leaving what he was best at. It was time he got better at staying.

 

He thinks he’s in love, but he doesn’t know. The world had been cruel to him and he had never known unconditional love. Even here and now, there was so much at stake. He could never fall in love so freely. He was terrified with all crevices of his heart to love.

And yet, how could he not love that person, that outgoing and enigmatic individual?

* * *

 

Keith goes into the washroom and wipes the grime off of his face. He washes the lethargy and fear out from under. He ties his hair away from his hace with an elastic band and pours a glass of water. He hesitates, and then pours another glass of water. For Lance, when he wakes. He 

Keith takes a seat in the corner of the room. Somehow, Keith’s mind leads back to that game show, set in between consciousness and fading. In that moment, he above all wanted Lance to escape. When the game show host asked their reasonings why, Keith had his words carefully chosen and prepared as always. 

 

“ _ Lance is our sharpshooter. He keeps us stable. He keeps me stable. He’s a strong leader and a stronger fighter. He can save us all.”  _ When he was crafting his statement, Keith didn’t care that Lance would probably vote for Allura. Lance needed to hear this from Keith.

But Lance got to go first, and he thinks that Keith is the future. It was taunting and tantalizing and totally threw Keith off guard. He was stricken with such sincere words, and he reverted back to his old defensive mechanism of snide jokes. Aside from running away, that was the only thing Keith knew how to do.

And now, light years away from that situation Lance wakes. Keith still feels bad that he never got to tell Lance the truth about why he chose him, but the truth can wait. Keith drums his fingers against the pristine water glass.

 

“Why does it feel like I’ve been run over by a truck?” Lance groaned. “And why are  _ you  _ here, Keith?”

Keith tried to hide the way his face fell. “Hunk sent me here last night. He wanted me to make sure you were okay. And then your bed was empty, so I stayed the night just in case you projectile vomited all over the room or something.” He tried to remain nonchalant, but his fingers were trembling. He hands Lance a glass of water and Lance gulps it down thirstily.

“Do you really not remember anything?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow.

Lance shakes his head. “All I remember is entering the and ordering some drinks.” He said, and Keith frowned. Nothing, then. Lance remembers nothing.

 

Lance squints at Keith as he tries to decipher Keith’s puzzled face. “What happened, anyways?” Lance asked softly, sitting up straight. Keith moves to join Lance at the bed. Lance looks at Keith’s actions pointedly, but neither of them say anything.

He doesn’t remember that tall and foreboding guy. How Keith had to carry Lance to safety and throw a knife at his ear. He doesn’t remember that guy that smelled of liquor and how he called Lance a  _ cutie.  _ Lance doesn’t remember pleading for Keith to stay. He doesn’t remember how they spoke of the secrets of the universe and how Lance admitted he found a home in Keith.

He just doesn’t remember. Maybe it was for the best, the universe playing a test on Keith to see if Keith was going to burden Lance with last night’s actions. “Nothing.” Keith choked out finally. “You had too much to drink and we called a cab home.” He said with a shrug.

Keith nodded levelly and made his way to the door. “Let’s get packing. Coran wants us to leave soon. We’re heading into the main cities.”

 

Later in the day as they’re all done packing, Hunk eyes Keith suspiciously as him and Lance exit the hotel room together. Keith sets down his luggage and walks over to Hunk, explanation tumbling out of him immediately. Keith tried to smile coolly. “Lance was really drunk. Threw up all over the floor like five times. He had an extra bed and I was pretty sure I’d go to Hell if I left him in that state all night.”

Hunk lets out a sound halfway between a chuckle and a grunt and nods. He didn’t look suspicious at all anymore, and he continued on his way. They piled into the trailer some time later, and they entered the last town they needed to go to before turning back around and travelling for another two weeks. Their vacation only be two weeks into the journey but it was calming to wake up in a new place every morning. 

 

The trip felt faster this time around. There were days when the road seemed endless, but not today. Today, the universe felt conquerable again. It was an arduous five hours to drive through, but Keith spent the time listening to  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxSExLoukGM) in between waking and dreaming. They left at midday, and the world had taken on a dreamlike state in Keith’s mind palace.

Lance was seated with Hunk upfront as Hunk politely volunteered to take this stretch of the drive. It gave Keith some much needed breathing room to collect his thoughts without Lance walking into the trailer half naked and Keith’s blood rushing to his cheeks  _ and other parts of his body _ . (It only happened once, but it was something that Keith would be eternally hung up on.)

Keith sighed, as he let the rolling plains pass him by, letting the music flood his ears.

* * *

 

Lance squinted at the phone screen with abject concentration. “Our hotel is located  _ where _ ?!” He exclaimed indignantly. They had stopped for a bathroom break a few hours back and Lance transferred to the back of the trailer.now, they were pulling into the main town and Keith knew something that the rest of the team didn’t know. It was itching and pulling at the corners of Keith’s skin.

Coran read out the address again. Lance’s eyes widened. “That’s like, two hours away from my childhood home!” He exclaimed. Keith shot him an indecipherable look.

“Well, would you like to pay a visit, Lance?” Allura asked politely.

Lance smiled, but it looked clipped around the edges. “Sure.” He said, lacking some of the enthusiasm he held just a moment earlier.

“Alright, then!” Coran quipped. “We’re about five minutes away from the hotel, so just around your old house right now!” He said with a smile.

Lance nodded and gulped, taking a seat and bouncing his leg up and down for the next few minutes.

When they arrived at Lance’s childhood home, a heavy silence fell upon the group. They all waited for Lance to make the first move and step off the trailer. Lance’s face looked needlessly morose. “Stay here.” Lance said, mumbling softly.

Keith took a look at Lance’s anguished face. His hunger felt so familiar. “Lance,” Keith begins, but Lance shakes his head. He wants Keith to come and say something, but that’s unfair to Keith. This is something that he had to do alone. 

 

Lance pulls open the trailer door and hops out. Nobody follows him, and he isn’t sure if he feels angry or at ease. He hadn’t been home in years, not since they moved closer to the Garrison.

Lance stands outside his home for a long time. There’s toys strewn in the bushes. Some other family lives here. Eventually, Romelle and Keith step out. “This was my home since I was born. When Veronica got into the Garrison, we all had to move down there.” He said with a shrug. This was the only corner of the universe that belonged to the Lance pre-Garrison. He sounded more choked up than he would like to be.

Romelle nods in understanding. “I remember when I lived on Lotor’s planet. Now I know it wasn’t perfect, but it was home.”

Lance nodded his head. He appreciated Romelle’s attempt at empathy, but she simply could not understand. This was who he was in a simpler time. Before they moved to that house near the Garrison, they lived here. He had his first kiss on the tire swing on the elm trees in the backyard. He adopted his first pet here. This was Lance’s  _ home _ . This house, it belonged to Lance before he was called to greatness. This house had memories that belonged to Lance who had a sister and two brothers. The Lance visiting this house now was someone else. Someone new.

 

This house had memories that no longer belonged to Lance. He was detached from it all. Lance felt like the old him and died and given up his life so that this Lance could be called to greatness and save their known universe. If he had known in advance where his life would lead him, would Lance still agree to save the universe? He didn’t think so.

They would never understand.

Keith stood on one side and Romelle stood on the other. Lance wants Keith to say something, but he stays quiet and brooding. That was when Lance realised that Keith never had the intention of saying anything, because the both of them knew deep down that Keith’s presence was enough to calm Lance down.

 

Both of them realised it at the same time, yet unknowingly. Lance may be Keith’s stability, but Keith was Lance’s reassurance. 

 

Lance was a different person now. He had taken lives and he had saved lives. But different plans didn’t always mean bad. Sometimes, different just meant an exciting twist. It can mean new opportunities. If Lance stayed that lanky Cuban boy with the walls that had chipped yellow paint, he never would have met Keith.

If Lance never grew into the person he was meant to be, he might still be that cocky cargo pilot. In another universe, him and Keith might even still be rivals.

* * *

 

Keith is roommates with Pidge. He doesn’t mind, since Pidge tolerated Keith and Keith tolerated Pidge. Apart from Shiro, him and Pidge had the biggest age gap and they weren’t really all that close. After a group dinner of Chinese takeout, they all retreated to their respective rooms. Keith tried not to think of how Lance was roommates with Allura for tonight, but Pidge’s incessant clacking on her keyboard was driving him insane. He needed to get out.

 

He changed into his Dri-Fit clothing and tied his hair back with an elastic. There was something that he needed to do.

Keith tried not to think of Lance and Allura, but he still found his way to knocking on their door. He knocked on the room labelled Room 1127. Lance opens the door and narrows his eyebrows when he sees Keith. 

Keith bounced from one leg to another. “Hey.” Keith said. “Do you wanna go for a run with me?” He asks. Keith notices how Lance looks at him in confusion. “Running always helps me after a long day.” Keith admits, lowering his voice.

Lance nods and closes the door as they walk down the hall. “Is that why you go for a run, like every single day?” He teases, nudging Keith’s shoulder. Keith chuckles.

As they enter the elevator, Keith stares Lance down. He’s wearing a pair of jeans, a grey shirt, and sneakers beat to hell. Keith raised his eyebrows. “You’re wearing  _ that  _ to run?” Keith asked.

Lance shrugged. “Didn’t bring any clothes to work out in.” He replies.

Their run was slow going but they managed to keep a consistent pace. Despite Lance not properly training in months, he still managed to keep up fairly well compared to Keith. They run for fifteen minutes and take a break at the first bus stop they see. The two of them catch their breath for a few seconds as a bus pulls into the station. Keith stands up as the bus arrives.

 

Lance raises a quizzical eyebrow at Keith as Keith holds up two bus tickets. They walk in and Keith gives the tickets to the bus driver. They take their seats. “Where’d you get bus tickets?” Lance whisper yelled in query to Keith.

Keith smirked. “Swiped them off some kid earlier.” He replied.

Lance’s jaw went slack, and Keith tried to contain his laughter. “I’m joking. I found them in the pockets of my jeans.” He said with a faint tinge of red blooming on his cheeks.

The bus slowed to a stop and Keith made no motion to stand up. There was a man sitting in front of them with jet black hair and bright blue eyes. He was mumbling on the phone rapidly as two girls hopped on the bus. One of them had bright pink hair and the other had frizzy curly black hair. They were holding hands and laughing.

Keith and Lance ride to the next stop in silence.

* * *

 

“You know, when I was really young I liked riding the bus and watching people getting off and on. That guy with the blue eyes, I wonder who he was talking to.” Keith said as they got off the bus.

“Those two girls.” Lance added. “They kept giggling into each other’s shoulders. They seem really close.” He said. Keith wonders if Lance saw those girls kiss once they got off the bus. 

“Anyways. This is what I wanted to show you.” Keith said, rounding a corner. Rain begins to drizzle down. 

 

The house they approached was dilapidated and the adjacent street light was flickering. It hadn’t been taken care of in a long time. The rain begins to pick up, so Keith kicks down the gate. Lance raises an eyebrow as he met up with Keith who was hunkered down on the porch. “No one lives here anymore. They can’t sell a former foster kid house.” He shrugged. 

“Oh.” Lance said, because there was nothing else  _ to  _ say.

“This was my old foster home.” Keith said, as the rain picks up and the air gets thick and soupy.

“They tormented me every single day.” Keith said, fixing his gaze on a worn down tree house. It looked as if it had been torn down and rebuilt multiple times. Lance imagines a small Keith hiding out in there.

 

Keith swallows hard. He can tell Lance this, because Lance will never like Keith in the way that Keith likes him. Friends will have to do. “They said my parents put me up for adoption because I’m gay.”

The words clung to the air unsatisfactorily. For some reason, Lance felt automatically compelled to wrap his arms around Keith. Keith could feel the tears running down his cheeks. All these years of childhood horror, coming to a crescendo. “Do you not hate me?” Keith said, voice sounding weak. His tears became more insistent as Lance holds Keith tighter. Something stirs in Lance’s heart.

_ This was why none of the insults could ever hurt Keith.  _ Lance thought recklessly.  _ This was Keith, trusting him with his deepest pain. _

 

It was in this moment that Lance knew. He loved Keith. Lance loved Keith and everything he stood for. It scared Lance, but in this moment it made him feel safe. He loves Keith. Lance loves Keith.

 

Keith knew from the day that he met Lance that he had met his match. Eventually their one sided rivalry had dissolved and when push came to shove Keith did like Lance. It was only now that Keith realised that Keith had loved Lance since the day they ended up in the Blue Lion together. Keith had loved Lance since he saved Keith’s life. He was only realising it now.

 

Right here, as they hold each other in their arms, the universe watches as these two boys fall in love with each other back again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think the main goal of fanfiction is to make the reader cry. if i made u cry because of this chapter or any chapter so far, i've done my job! if you haven't cried yet, don't worry. i promise to make u cry by the end of this fic
> 
> thanks 4 reading and as always please kudos and comment! iloveyou


	14. No Stars, No Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> knock knock knockin on heaven's door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very very overdue i'm sorry !!!!! but its also very very long and juicy and good as this was initially 2 separate chapters but i didn't wanna make yall suffer. enjoy

In the morning Keith and Lance wake and they wake alone in their separate beds. They end up alone, and it is as if a spell has been broken between them. The spell of silence and safety and security seemingly tethered both of them together, and it snapped before they even started off.

 

Unfortunately, both Keith and Lance had to face the infinite harrowing truth that stood in front of them.  Their hearts pushed away, but their minds forced them to watch with wild eyes. In a world full of infinite time and matter and harrowing space, they found each other and yet they were still  _ terrified  _ to face the rain and thunder. 

 

Keith knew that he loved Lance, that was a given. Maybe he would spend his whole life chasing this idiot boy. Maybe Lance would never like him back, but he would spend his whole life in a game of tug of war with his head and with his heart.

Lance, to put it simply, indeed loved Keith. He loved Keith in such a pure and unprecedented way that his heart didn’t know how to react. All his life, Lance thought that loving was electrifying, and yet when he realised his true feelings for Keith, his feelings were anything but.

Love was supposed to be an all encompassing, all pure and gentle feeling. But for the two boys drawn apart by the world weighing down on them, they felt so inescapably alone in this great big and infinitely expanding universe. Certainly, they believed, that this was no place for two boys in love, not when the world wanted them to be a million things at once.

When they resolutely broke apart and made their ways to their separate rooms, a silence hung over them, thick and inky and it felt tumultuous. As Keith made his way to his room, Pidge didn’t ask any questions so Keith didn’t give any answers. Keith admired that about Pidge, how she never asked questions that she didn’t want answers to. It was just something they grew accustomed to after time and time again of battling the universe and everything that lay in it. 

 

Allura had a question spelled out on her face, clear as day. The words were knitted finely into her eyebrows and in every strand of her pupils.  _ Where did you go _ ? 

Lance shook his head. His answer felt like it was flowing out of someone who wasn’t himself. He felt like he was six feet underwater as he mumbled an excuse he loathed to remember. 

They both collapse into bed with their respective roommates not asking a thing. It was as if this night had never even happened.

 

In the morning, there’s an unspoken truth that hangs between the two of them. The truth is so looming and foreboding, because  _ Keith thinks that Lance knows that Keith loves him.  _ And,  _ Lance thinks that Keith knows that Lance loves him.  _ It was the kind of innate terror that causes the inevitable rift between the two of them. In the morning Lance accompanies Romelle, Allura, and Coran to the far end of town to find the part that they had come for. Keith sleeps in and his heart is beating so rapidly after last night he would be a blind idiot if he tried to go for a run. Instead, he helps Pidge and Hunk repair a broken part in the engine, even if Keith is doing most of the grunt work without actually knowing what he was doing. It was the kind of mindless physical labour that Keith needed to get his mind off Lance.

Miraculously, both of them find a way to make it through the whole day without running into each other. It’s only at night when they all shuffle into Coran and Hunk’s room with a day end report where they make awkward eye contact and shuffle to opposite sides of the room.

 

Keith was terrified, because the flighty panic was setting in. He wasn’t in a room of people whom he’d like to consider his friends but more of a room full of people pulled together by some bizarre twist of fate. These people tolerated him, enjoyed his company. But apart from that there was no reason for any of them to talk to Keith, which was part of the reason why they simply didn’t.

Allura rattled off in her formal tone, as always. “We’re going to have to extend our stay in this town by about two days. They measured parts incorrectly and we’ll have to spend the rest of tomorrow and the day after testing out the new part.” She said. Coran and Romelle nodded, while Lance merely stayed silent.

“Well,” Hunk said, crossing his arms. “Me and Pidge finally got the gasoline generator working, which means that the trailer should be running at maximum efficiency when we get going.” He said. Keith looked down at his feet as he tried not to sulk. 

 

Hunk didn’t include Keith in the people that contributed.

* * *

 

That night after dinner they had congregated upstairs and rotated the rooms once more, Keith was itching to get out of the confines of his hotel room. They had mixed up the rooms for tonight, and he was alone. Keith was starting to see why Lance couldn’t handle being in a room alone, it feels incorrect and painfully silent, whilst echoes of Lance's deadened remarks of how enthusiastic he really was to be rooming with Hunk. He seemed forlorn and dead behind the eyes. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe, as they all were, just a little tired.

 

After dinner Keith spent the night in bed and mindlessly browsing the internet. He hadn’t been doing any cardio, and all of a sudden his adrenaline felt subpar. 

He was impulsive and brash. He never thought things through. That was Keith, he never thought of how his actions would affect others. And because of that, because of  _ who he was _ , Keith decided to go for a run at nine in the evening. He was back in his hometown, jogging and jogging down familiar paths. There was a path he used to go through every single day after school, through a thicket of trees and a dense amount of bushes. There was a creek that was drying out every single day, and it ran all the way to a dead end. He knew just where to go.

But the fact was, Keith  _ didn’t  _ know just where to go. It had been months since they were last on Earth, and years since he had been back in his hometown. He knew how to get going on the path, but he was worried that the sun would dip too low into the horizon and he wouldn’t be able to find his way back. He kept running, because he couldn’t afford to think of anything else. He couldn’t think of Lance, and the way his stomach hollowed out and groaned at the thought of mutual love. The very depths of his soul ached with every fiber of his being, so he had to keep running.

He had to keep going and he had to keep pace, because God forbid he breaks the tenuous rhythm that he had set in stone. Keith had to keep running, until he suburban houses faded out and then bright and lush trees sprung up. The creek had dried up. The sun had scorched the Earth. Keith had to keep running, he had to keep going. The trees faded away, the vegetation grows arid. The desert finds its way underfoot. The road becomes dirt. The dirt becomes path. The path becomes sand. 

 

Keith tried not to think of how he was probably most likely entirely and definitely lost. He tried not to think of how his heart was hammering in his chest. He tried not to think of the easy smile that Lance had, the way he ran effortlessly even without the proper gear. How his long legs hit the pavement in perfect rhythm and rhyme. How everything about  _ Lance  _ made total sense. It was like Lance was the one thing he could figure out, it was like Lance would tell Keith anything if he just asked. He tried not to think about Lance. He tried not to think about Lance thinking about him.

He just ate, but he was starving. No, he felt nauseous. He couldn’t breathe. How long had he been running? What was it that Shiro said about never running for more than two hours at a time? Was it always two in the morning? He stopped running. His head was spinning as his fingers fumbled for his phone at his side.

 

All of a sudden, Keith cried.

All the emotions bubbling out of him outpoured and he cried out in anguish, giving the universe everything he had. He was in pain as his heart wracked with every second it pumped blood. His heart was aching and he could feel death creep up on him.

This whole time from the second that Keith ran into Lance that fateful night when rescuing Shiro, he had been falling for Lance since then. And it would be so much easier if it was anyone, literally anyone, who wasn’t Lance. Anyone could be kind or caring or funny, but Keith just had to fall for the one person he could never have. He wanted Lance to love him so badly, but him and Lance were on two sides of a ravine. Keith had over thought every possible outcome, and there was no feasible reality where they ended up together. They. Were. Just. Too. Different. And so instead of sleeping in a bed he gives his soul to the universe and his tears to the sky.

 

And for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to cry. 

* * *

 

The air smelled sweeter on this side of town.

Lance had done everything in his power to convince Hunk to drive him down to this bar, but in the end he took public transportation. (Lance tried not to think about how riding the bus made him think of Keith.)

 

This bar was less shifty in comparison to the one in the last town they visited. The lights were brighter and the customers were younger. He ordered a beer. He tried not to think of how Keith looked, drinking a beer. Instead, he had to think of something else. Anything else. He tore his gaze away from his frosted beer bottle and looked up. There was a girl with dark black lipstick. It was faded on the inner circle of her lips as she pressed her lips against a cigarette. She had jet black hair but her platinum blonde roots were already growing back. Her bangs were cut haphazardly, and her hair looked frizzy from excessive use of a curling iron.

 

In another life, Lance would have had the gall to walk over to that girl with paper skin. She looked like a person so fragile you could see the veins right through her. She was a fragile girl dreaming of being tough. Most of all, Lance saw a girl who desperately wanted to be someone else. 

Lance couldn’t dream of being anyone else. If he were to be anyone else he would have never gone on this exhilarating adventure. He would never had met Keith.

 

Keith, he needed to stop thinking about Keith.

Lance takes another sip of the deep alcoholic drink as the girl with paper skin seems to float right up to him. She smelled like smoke and sweat and thousand dollar perfumes. Lance tried to smile, but Keith had the same shade of black as her lipstick. She was wearing eyeshadow the colour of Keith’s scar. Her eyes were purple. Keith’s eyes were a deeper shade of purple. She seemed like a girl playing dress up as Keith.

 

Lance never quite caught her name. The name danced on the corner of his lips but it disappeared as the girl’s lips were on his. He tried to smile. He was smiling. And then, he was laughing. She pulls away and takes a sip of whiskey. She asks if everything is okay. She looks tender and gentle and kind as her lipstick smudges and stains her skin. She asks if  _ this  _ is okay

Lance laughs and laughs and laughs why would it not be okay?

And then Lance wants an infinite amount of  _ more.  _ It scares him but what was he to do? For the first time his mind wasn’t on Keith.

 

Suddenly, his mind isn't on Keith. His mind is on the fluorescent bathroom lighting and how she smells and tastes of sweat and cherry liquor, and how she was half dead,  _ surely _ . He was thinking of how his mother was probably weeping.

 

When they just moved from Cuba and lived in that yellowing house not far from this bar right here, they always made it tradition to go to Sunday mass. It was a quirk that tugged at Lance's heart just a little too hard. He remembers his mother gossiping with the other Church frequenters and how she prayed collectively for their eternal salvation.

He remembers the whispers that swarmed him, but were never ever about him in any way. Because Lance was  _ good _ . He was safe.

 

"Lucia was seen by my brother's coworker's sister's cousin at a birth control clinic. It was that Sandro, I tell you." One of his aunts would say. And then the congregation of mothers would cluck their lips and shake their heads because  _ poor Lucia.  _

"Alvaro was seen with Marco Sanchez, not Marco McClain. They would have both been great husbands, too." Another would say, as they wipe false tears from their eyes and sniffle into handkerchiefs made out of hand me down cloth. 

These stories were his upbringing, part of his soul as much as the folk tales and make believe stories. These were what wove Lance into just who he is today.

He heard the chastise in their tone and Lance ha the good grief to know that he  _ must do better _ . Because Marco and Alvaro and Lucia and Sandro? They were the nuclear example of what not to do. But were they better than these stories? Was the mother of two husbands better than the boys who loved each other? Was Heaven worth it if Heaven pulled a blind eye from time to time? Was heaven worth giving up the only person that he truly wants, he truly loves? 

 

Lance had surely saved the world and back. It gave him pause as he pulled away from the girl, just a little. This means nothing, not when Keith was still smiling from the corner of his mind. 

Lance didn't even know if he liked Keith in that way. All he knew was that Keith was infinitely better than Lance in every way possible, and that he liked knowing that Keith was safe and here and now. 

 

Lance saved the world. He knows better, and he knows that heaven has a plan for him.

  
  


And then, Lance’s phone lights up. He pulls away suddenly. Her tongue piercing tastes like metal. She looks angry and sad. Mostly sad. Lance is dizzy and he thinks he’s drunk, but his bottle of beer is full. It’s still cold. He’s going insane, but it feels right.

It’s Keith calling. He sounds sad and scared. “Lance.” Keith breathes out of the other end. They both must look dead behind the eyes. 

 

“I made a mistake, and I need your help.”

Lance takes a breath. Suddenly everything makes total sense. His head is clearer than he thought. “I’m coming. And don’t worry. I made a mistake, too.”

* * *

 

Keith was still on speakerphone as Lance sped down the beaten path. The groves becomes valley and the valley becomes desert. "How did you even get here?" Lance asked, following the blue trail on his phone. Keith pinged Lance his location a few moments before, and they were hours apart. Lance could only imagine how far it took Keith to get here by foot.

Minutes become hours and Lance reaches the end of the road with a quarter tank of gasoline left in the engine. He spied Keith sprawled out on the desert sand, and Lance suddenly wonders if Keith missed the sand like Lance missed the rain. 

 

He looked a quarter way to death, and Lance felt something primal in him stir. A sleepy dawn rose on the horizon as Lance sprinted out of the car. "Keith!" Lance exclaimed wildly. 

Keith stood up. "Are you alright?" Lance asked. Keith shrugged weakly. Keith wasn't sweating any more, the last of the sweat dried up. He looked radiant, like a spurned angel.

 

Keith couldn't believe, above all, that Lance came to rescue him.

His eyes were still raw from crying, and he was half asleep, but he felt refreshed in the way that you did after a five minute nap. The lethargy was waning off of him, and he still can’t believe that Lance came.

 

Keith blinked slowly. “Lance? You came?” He asked, as he swallowed his saliva. His mouth had gone dry from his run, and his body felt weak after crying his eyes out for hours. He had been bone tired exhausted before. He could barely walk after a training session with the Marmorites, and he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes open after a reconnaissance mission with Team Voltron, but this kind of exhaustion came from within. 

Lance chuckled. His tired eyes bored into Keith’s. Away from the city and the mayhem, they were just two boys. Alone in the desert they were stripped of everything they loathed. Their title, their heritage, their mistakes didn’t define them in this one moment. And sometimes, one moment is all you need.

 

They were just two boys with tired eyes and bruised knees. They were sowing seeds in places still rotting, they were trying to be the world. They were trying to capture the universe in a single day. They were trying to be everything and nothing, but none of that mattered out in the desert.

Out in the desert, Keith and Lance could have been anyone. They could have been anyone on your typical Saturday night, but that was not the case.

 

The history between them stood loud and vast, but Lance pushed away the white noise rumbling in his veins. “Of course I came. Keith… you’re my  _ friend _ .” Lance said, and his words were chosen with such a precarious forethought.

Keith could feel his heart spiralling into a black hole. He had seen a black hole before, he had been inside one. He knew how the energy felt, and how the energy in his soul felt stronger than that of a supermassive black hole. “Thanks.” He said, looking past Lance’s shoulder. What else was there to say? 

 

Keith knew there was nothing else to say. He turned around and collected his thoughts, because now was the time for action. And Keith knew that once he looked at Lance again, that boy would be the life of him.

You see, Lance could never be the death of Keith. Keith had faced the harshest climates and longed the cruellest death. Lance would be the life of Keith, he gave life to Keith like how the sun bends down to the moon in the night.

Lance hates this. If heaven has a plan for him, he doesn’t want it. No heaven is worth staring at the boy you love and knowing you can’t kiss him.  _ This _ was hell. Standing in front of Keith with the rising sun making Keith look like a fallen angel and not being able to tell him how he really feels is hell. This is hell and hurting and the worst pain in the world. He wants to kiss Keith. He wants to kiss Keith.

 

Lance doesn’t want a heaven. Not unless Keith is in it. 

* * *

 

The sky has no stars. The stars have done their job. They have led the two boys home. Keith knows what he has to do, and he runs back to Lance. One kiss, and then he'll leave. One kiss, and his world gets flipped around. He just wants to kiss Lance.

 

And Lance?

 

He kisses Keith first.

* * *

 

Keith laughs. He laughs and laughs and laughs and  _ cries _ , because he can’t tell whether he’s afraid or ecstatic. Keith can’t tell if he’s crying or laughing or both, because the sky has no stars but Lance is in his arms.

 

Lance is afraid. He’s terrified. He can’t tell if he’s making a mistake, but Keith is right here and he’s laughing and crying like there’s no tomorrow so he must be doing something right. 

 

“There’s no stars.” Keith said, looking up to the sky as they break away. The sky is pink around the corners.

Lance remembers something. A vague recollection of a memory spun upside down and submerged underwater. It’s a warped memory, but it’s  _ there.  _ A bedside conversation, a musing about the universe. A Keith and a Lance. A heaven and a star. 

Lance just scoffs, but his smile is so warm. Everything is so warm. “Of course there’s no stars. They’ve done their job. They’ve led us  _ home _ .” Lance replies. The realisation dawns on Keith’s face. He tries not to think about it so much, he tries not to think about how much Lance really knows him.

“You know what?” Lance adds, as he holds Keith’s hand. They walk over to the car and sit on the rooftop and watch as the sun rises. “There’s no heaven either.” He decides finally. Lance rejects everything he is, everything he believes in. There can be no heaven so cruel, that they would give them medals for killing men and eternal banishment for loving one.

 

Keith shrugs. He looks to the sky and smiles, too. He smiles only because Lance isn’t really looking at him. He’s looking at the quickly sinking sky. “That’s okay. I don’t need stars. Or heaven.”

 

“I just need you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment and kudos if you enjoyed!  
> also, i changed the chapter count from 15 to 20! just because kick is finally kickin doesn't mean this story is over yet! much more fun stuff to come as i HATE when the story ends just as they get together :/ the real fun is once they've kissed, people!


	15. Legendary Loverboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the calm before the storm or the calm after the storm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't write fluff i am an angst EXPERT. i lost sleep and tears because of this chapter. it's cute tho ngl <33

Falling in love is a relative thing. Lance fell in love with Keith in a matter of days, just realising what all those thousand yard stares actually meant. Keith had loved Lance from the day they first met, and the seeds he had sown were just blooming now.

 

Just a night ago they held each other in their arms as they wept on the porch steps of Keith’s childhood home. After that they retreated back into their hotel rooms and they pretended like nothing had even happened. 

The drive back to the hotel was an hour and a half long. They alternated the music playing inside the beat up car, but Lance played most of the music since Keith was sleeping for most of the ride.

There was nothing new between them, no big revelations. For the most part everything felt auspiciously mundane, because one kiss doesn’t mean the stars would start falling. Lance had seen Keith like this before. Totally collapsed and asleep for the foreseeable future. He remembers back on the Castle of Lions when Keith had fell asleep and sprawled out onto the couch, and Lance was intently watching the rise and fall of Keith’s chest because  _ he needed to find something to make fun of _ . 

 

Maybe that wasn’t why Lance was watching Keith rest. At least now, Lance could indulge himself in sneaking a glance at Keith at every red light to make sure he was comfortable or safe. He looked considerably less ruthless in his slumber, and he still looked soft and untouched by the universe. He looked like any average boy on the verge of becoming a man. His legs were curled into his chest and his lip slightly jutted out. He looked innocent, Keith looked serene. Lance couldn’t imagine  _ this  _ Keith taking down an entire fleet of Galra cruisers, or sliding down a mountain to rescue children from a burning village. And in that likeness, Lance could never think of  _ that  _ Keith, the cold blooded, loner, impulsive, killer Keith kissing Lance and smiling and giggling. Lance could never imagine that Keith sleeping with a soft smile on his face, lashes casting shadows on his softly freckled face. 

Lance keeps driving. They feel lifetimes away and yet tethered together by something unforsaken. Perhaps Lance would spend his life chasing after Keith, but for as long as they had breath in their lungs and fire in their hearts, Lance would be okay with that.

* * *

 

It’s darker in the city. Maybe because they driving west and that the sky was still an inky vast expanse, but by the time Keith roused at their hotel it was still dark outside. The balmy dawn that lay in front of them was suspended on the fringes of the horizon as they rolled into the sleepy town and the sleepier hotel.

Keith’s eyes were wide-awake but stung with every blink as they stumbled out of the car. He wasn’t ready for this night to end, and he was dreading every second they spent in the elevator just one second closer to closing this night. 

  
They stood at the door of Keith’s hotel room. Keith was terrified that when they go to sleep Lance will pretend like this never happened and he would spend the rest of his life wondering if he made this all up. He wanted this to be a reality, and not some sleepy rendition of something uncertain.

Lance swung on his heels as Keith silently clicked open the door. As the door swung open, Lance heaved a sigh. “Well. Guess I better get going.” He said, turning to walk further down the hall.

 

Maybe the universe was rarely ever so lazy. Maybe the universe knew that the empty room would drive Keith insane, maybe the universe knew it would lead Keith to run all the way out into the endless desert just for Lance to rescue him.

Maybe… the universe knew that empty rooms were made for two.

Keith grabbed Lance’s wrist. His mouth dried up and he couldn’t think of anything to say, he couldn’t feel anything powerful enough to convey just how insane Lance made him. 

 

“Don’t go.” Keith croaked out, eyes shining silver in the starlight.

Lance smiled as he walked into the room with Keith, the air smelled untarnished and like stale aerosol.

These moments were the penultimate moments before the drop. These moments were now or never, spur of the moment times when impactful decisions must be made.

And so, Keith had always been the brash and impulsive one of the pair. He was always the only who made bad decisions and let others clean up his mess. This was one time he was grateful he always did was his heart told him to and disregarded his logical, calculating mind with reckless abandon.

 

Keith stops Lance in his tracks, and he kisses Lance. He kisses Lance like the sky will start falling, like the  _ damn _ Galra would appear once more and ruin every foul thing in Keith’s life.

He rakes his fingers through Lance’s hair and smiles. He feels like liquid and honey and infinite time. Keith feels infinite, as if he could cast a spell and create miracles. He could back up any promise and spin a sonnet. This was living. 

This was what all the poems and prophecies from Aristotle to Dante. For every single one of his nineteen years he had woken up with a hunger to survive. He had to survive his hellish childhood and then in his adolescence he had to survive, because his survival meant the universe’s survival. But this was living at its finest. If every night ended with looking at Lance like he had the sun in his eyes, he would wake up every morning and refuse to go to sleep.

 

Lance kisses back harder, the kisses becoming more and more insistent. They become deeper with all the promises that hang between them. Their history together just makes the kisses hungrier. 

Keith laughs and his smile pulls on his face. Lance looks at Keith and he knows that heaven isn’t in the afterlife when he has it in his hands.

* * *

 

It’s almost sunrise by the time Keith steps out of the shower. It was awkward, really. In the movies and books Keith read everything romantic panned out beautifully. But as the kisses became hungrier and the pit in Keith’s stomach grew and the blood rushed to all parts of his body, he was acutely aware of how he smelled like sweat and dust and decay. Lance is under the soft white covers tapping away quietly on his laptop.

 

Keith’s hair was soft in that almost dry but still wet state as he climbed into bed with Lance. There was still a space between them, but it was a space he was willing to breach. The dawn grows and the light makes Lance look untouchable. 

Lance scooted over to close the space between the two of them as he slid his laptop between the two of them. “Wanna watch a movie?” Lance asked, even if he knew both of them were dead tired.

 

Keith smiled and nodded as he curled up to Lance. For a moment, they were frozen. The two of them were frozen in place as they silently wondered if  _ this was okay _ . Keith looked up at Lance, and his eyes were wide and soft. Lance nodded silently and wrapped an arm around Keith. All of this was uncharted territory, but if they had bravery to battle an alien warlord they had the bravery to figure out the warzone of their hearts.

 

They stayed like that forever. In the warmth of space and time for what seemed like forever. 

Not more than ten minutes later, Keith croaked out a whisper in a silence only filled by the monotone conversation of their film. “I just want to take things slow.” Keith whispers hesitantly. 

 

Lance’s eyes grow wide, and for a second Keith thinks that he misspoke. “No, I agree. I mean, this is my first  _ real  _ relationship. I don’t wanna mess things up.”

There’s something in Lance’s voice that makes Keith’s insides feel warm and curious. Keith snorted and chuckled softly. “You?  _ Loverboy Lance _ ?” He said, harkening back to Lance’s ridiculous show name. “This is your first real relationship?” Keith expected Lance to be offended, and he was. But Lance was also kind of grinning through the shock. Lance was smiling like he was trying not to.

“I mean, yeah. I’ve had a few girlfriends but mostly because they wrote on a piece of paper ‘ _ Will you go out with me: Yes/No’  _ on a piece of lined paper. “ I always dated because I felt obligated to, or pressured. Not really because I liked them. The universe just kind of shoves me into relationships. But I feel like I had a say in this. In us.” Lance said, holding Keith’s hand softly.

 

Keith smiles and raises his eyebrows. “Is that what we are? A relationship?” He said dubiously.

Lance kissed the top of Keith’s head gingerly. “Yeah. Lance and Keith, neck and neck. Lance, Keith’s right hand man. Lance and Keith,  [ legendary lovers ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRD78LHENzM) .” He said with a chuckle, biting his lip nervously. “I mean, if you want. If you want  _ us _ .”

Keith laughed. “I just wanna take things slow. But I do. I want us. Legendary defenders of the universe is a mouthful.” He joked, playfully rolling his eyes.

 

Lance moved closer to Keith (if even humanly possible at this point) and took in this moment. He had sat with his arms and other limbs wrapped around girls in school on park benches. He had found himself pressed up around handfuls of girls, but Keith was different. Maybe it was because he was Lance’s former rival, or maybe it was because he was a boy. But girls were all soft edges even if they wanted to be sharp and clean cut there was always a ghost of softness lingering in their bodies. Keith was all brute force and features carved in neon. Lance traced Keith’s muscles up and down his arm. His jawline and cheekbones were sharp and unrelenting, Keith’s muscles shifting in his abdomen lean and taut. Lance wraps an arm around Keith’s waist. 

 

Lance could feel the rise and fall of Keith’s breathing. “Girls?” Keith asked, voice devoid of any judgement or prejudice. “Have you ever been with a boy before?” He asked, voice only a little over a whisper.

Lance shakes his head slowly. “No. What about you?” He asked.

Keith smiles pitifully. Almost mournfully. “Almost. Just once. Not really. Something that could have happened but never really did.” Keith says curtly. One day he’ll tell Lance about the one boy he ever really truly liked, the one boy that he liked and the one boy that caused James Griffin to spray paint slurs in indelible orange paint. One day he’ll tell Lance how he was treated differently because he looked at boys differently. Today is not that day.

“Did you know? That I didn’t like girls the same as you?” Keith asks pointedly. It was a question that had always slithered up on him when he least expected it. 

Lance shrugs. “Well. You never flirt with girls like I do. I just assumed that you were too caught up in whatever crazy scheme or mission Coran and Allura cooked up for us at that point.” Lance pauses for a second. “It doesn’t matter anyways, does it? I mean we found each other in the end. We ended up here, and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. 

 

Keith blushes and reaches up to kiss Lance on the cheek. 

He was in love. Keith was in love with this, and this was the calm after the storm. This was safety and security. He was in love with Lance. And he would not have traded it for the world either.

Keith moves to kiss Lance on the lips. He can feel Lance’s smile growing. “What happened to taking things slow?” Lance whispered teasingly.

 

  
Keith smiles back. Lance’s eyes are bluer up close. “This  _ is  _ slow.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and sticking along frienderinos :> stay tuned for the next installment of dumb space boys


	16. Mystery of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "this is slow" keith says, referring to the writer's update speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JFKSDGJKSGJDF!!!!!!!! I AM SO SO SORRY I LEFT YOU GUYS I PROMISE THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! this chapter is rly short and crappy but it is IMPORTANT! it's a big plot device i will develop in future chapters but after doing the creatively draining inktober, i am just again easing myself into writing <3 bear with me, ily !

It was close to midday when Keith and Lance roll out of their beds and consequently, their room. While packing up and leaving the door wide open, Keith looked down both ends of the hall. He didn’t like this feeling of acute asperity, running from the truth when he was always the one that confronted it.  

 

“Do you think anyone will see us?” Keith half whispered, still drowsy and slurring words under his half lidded eyes. He wasn’t drunk, but maybe if Lance was a drug, he would certainly be hooked.

Lance just chuckled openly and lavishly, clasping Keith’s hand and kissing it with a smile. Lance hoped it wasn’t super obvious how nervous he was. “Is there something wrong?” Lance asked with a lopsided smile, twirling Keith around and kissing him on the cheek. 

Keith chuckled. Lance was acting boisterous and goofy, all the things that made Lance who he was. But somehow, when Lance was laughing with him and not at him, things just seemed all the more sweeter. Keith grinned at the sight of his and Lance’s hands intertwined. He gave Lance’s hand a squeeze. Nothing more than now, laughing and twirling in a dimly lit hallway in a motel in the middle of nowhere felt more right.

 

It felt like this is how the rest of Keith’s life should be like. This is how the entire world should feel. Like they were walking on clouds and everything felt like a dream.

“Not at all.” Keith said, kissing Lance back. “I just want to properly tell the team on the road, okay?’ He said with a soft, genuine smile. 

Lance smiled and looked at Keith like staring at Keith was the most interesting thing in the world. Like staring at Keith would never be something he had enough time for. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist and kissed him on the nose. “Of course. Let’s just go.”

 

Later in the day, it felt like the spell that bound them together was still holding true. They sit on opposite sides of the bus, but Keith can feel so free just indulging in the very thought of Lance.

When they were still living in the realms of uncertainty, Keith scorned himself every moment he spent lingering on Lance. But thinking of Lance and his impish smile down to his genuine laughter, it drove Keith insane. The very thought of Lance drives Keith crazy.

What Keith can’t get his mind over and quite possibly would never be able to is how well they work together. Lance’s arms slid so softly into place when they were connected to Keith’s. They were two puzzle pieces crafted at the dawn of the universe. The spaces where Lance lay fit perfectly into Keith. They just  _ worked _ . 

While Keith had one earbud in, listening to a dreamy and languid soundtrack that made him think that it would be nice if things could stay like this forever, Pidge walked up to Lance with a toothy grin holding up a thin flash drive and a paper box.

 

“La-ance…” Pidge whined, and Lance chuckled. It was the voice Pidge used every single time she was determined to get whatever she wanted from the other paladins. “Can you gather the Alteans, Hunk, and Keith so we can play Monsters and Mana?” She said in that childish voice, the whine she droned on in when Pidge wanted to get her way.

 

Lance chuckled easily and stood up, facing towards Keith. “C’mon,  _ spacefighter _ .” Lance said, voice a low hum.

Keith smiled timidly. Once not long ago the name was just something that was made up with in the spur of the moment. But as Keith heard Lance mumble the nickname, it felt like the name had developed a totally new meaning as Lance’s playful whispers licked at Keith’s ear. 

“Right behind you,  _ skyshooter. _ ” Keith said, taking a seat on the couches as the rest of his team settled in. Monsters and Mana wasn’t exactly a hard game, but it took lots of time and was the perfect game to play if you were on the road for long amounts of time. This was easy for Keith and Lance. It was easy to shut up and play into the unassuming role of the brooding loner or the goofy best friend. In this moment, the world didn’t seem so impossible. This was easy, playing board games and making idle conversation relevant to the game and to their lives was easy here and now. There was no worrying about the fate of the universe or what a relationship meant. 

 

Hunk made a move that put him in the lead, and everyone groaned. Pidge did a wacky impression of Shiro, and Allura made a cunning joke. It was so simple and fun and goddamn  _ mundane _ , but King Alfor above dare anyone say that this is what they dreamt of while battling Galra fighters, lest the unspoken spell between the two of them be broken.

But just like the cruel irony of the universe foretells, some things just aren’t that simple. 

Lance makes a move on Allura that sends her all the way back in the game. It would take a good strategy and some luck for her to win at this point, but they all laugh in good banter nonetheless. Hunk smiles and speaks up once a lull in the conversation blooms. “You know, even though I want the best for the both of you,” Hunk begins, staring at Allura and Lance. “I’m also pretty glad that you and Allura aren’t dating.”

 

Lance chuckles loudly, if a little too forcefully. Keith laughs too, but it’s shy and unassuming as his thumb circles the smooth flesh of Lance’s palm, he entertains the very notion that Lance and Allura would be dating, after all that Allura had put Lance through. Perhaps in another timeline, another universe. But in this universe, Lance was just a boy trying to figure out the mysteries of his heart. (by kissing another boy, how else?)

 

Pidge nodded. “Now that I think about it, I’m pretty glad that no one is dating in general.”

A silence tethered Lance and Keith together, until the rest of the paladins erupted in laughter, filling the air with a smarmy feeling that made Keith’s blood boil

Allura smiled lightheartedly as the smile was wiped from Lance and Keith’s face. “Oh Quiznak, yes! Imagine a couple on the team, it would totally mess up the team dynamic entirely.”

“We wouldn’t be able to play games anymore! It would be so biased!” Hunk quipped. 

 

Keith felt his stomach drop. He unknowingly shifted away from Lance, palm pressed to the cool sofa instead of Lance’s hand. Lance picked up on Keith’s discomfort and laughed uneasily. “Hey  guys, I think you’re being a little unreasonable.”   
  


Keith nodded slowly. “Yeah. Didn’t Allura kiss Lotor while he was allied with us? I think that’s a little drastic.” He said with a shrug. His insides felt like a warzone, but at least he was always known to go for the lowest blow so his cutting remark didn’t seem too out of the ordinary.

 

Lance shifted even further from Keith as Keith ducked his head away, expertly averting Lance’s timid gaze.  _ Guess we can’t exactly say that we hooked up right now.  _ Keith thought, the idea yelling and climbing into every crevice of Keith’s soul, tendrils snaking around Lance’s soul and wrapping the idea around him as well. 

Hooking up. Making out in the ashy desert. Cuddling under a soft smelling duvet while watching a movie. It was all fair game, really. It was all the same gay shit Keith was beaten to a pulp for during his youth.

Lance snuck a glance at Keith. It felt like they were lifetimes away.

* * *

 

Keith raked a hand through his hair. Lance frowned. He didn’t like it when Keith did that, pushing all the feathery wisps of hair out of his face and made him look too clean cut. “Stop pacing.” Lance said, chewing his lip in furious concentration. Both of them refused to say what had to be said. 

 

It was around midday after they errantly and sleepily wandered into another town on their route back to the Galaxy Garrison. Both of their roommates were out either admiring the local architecture or saving the universe, Lance could never remember which one it was, but either way it gave him the excuse to crash in Keith’s room while they regroup and try and decide just what it was they were to do next. 

Keith looked around, suddenly feeling like his heart was drowning and simultaneously that there were more pressing things to attend to. But the room didn’t spontaneously combust, Marmora soldiers didn’t bombard their suite, and the air felt normal, if just a little stale. 

 

These problems felt trivial compared to the problems of yesterday. His pains from before felt inescapable, because somewhere in that desert where the world cracked open lay dust undisturbed, and possibly undisturbed for all of eternity.

He sees a garland that smells of rosemary. On one planet, rosemary signified the singing of the dead. This crazy whirlwind love was thrilling for just that reason, Keith didn’t have to prove anything to anyone  _ just yet _ . For once, whatever he did didn’t hold such a significance. He could be a boy again, making mistakes and learning from them.

 

A dangerous though crossed Keith’s mind. 

If the team didn’t accept him and Lance, would Lance come with Keith? Would they really stay forever? Is this mystery unraveling in front of them going to change? Will any of this ever be as simple as it is right now?

 

Keith raises his head to meet Lance’s gaze, and his entire brooding resolve breaks, though his whole front of pretending like he just doesn’t care was true. The only thing in this universe that Keith  _ really  _ cared about was Lance.

Lance, who was cunning and kind and sweet. Lance, who was more than just the universe’s fool. Lance, who was the only person Keith was sure he loved.

He tried smiling, for Lance’s sake. But he looks at Lance and his face crumples, walls crumbling and tears flooding every inch of his soul.

 

As the white noise filled the air, Keith sobbed into Lance’s chest and into the universe’s arms. If coming out to himself was hard, coming out to others was just too much to bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for readin' and bearin' with me, i hope to see u soon n pls kudos n comment if u enjoyed!!!! xox


	17. Anthology of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in today's instalment of the space opera that happens on earth: DOG, emo!keith, overdramatic lance, and an existential crisis (if you would call it that)  
> we're in the home stretch folks. the end is neigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back babey !!! n this is a 2k long chapter w some heavy angst in it ! also, spot the lil easter egg that will hint in a cameo next chap!!! xoxo  
> also: i will try my very best to finish this fic before the finale airs. which means i have 11 days to wrap up EVERYTHING. lets go girls

What nobody tells you about loving someone of the same gender is that your story simply _does not stop_ at coming out. Your story simply _does not stop_ at kissing the boy of your dreams. Your story simply _does not stop_ once you come out to yourself.

 

Because, as you can see, there is a whole world that is waiting for you to come out. A whole world ready to pick apart the memory of you and see you as something else. See you as just a label, as just an instrument of love.

 

The next few days felt like the starfallen duo were constantly walking on eggshells. Keith was constantly looking for vulnerabilities in their schedule that Keith could take advantage of, little lapses in the day when him and Lance could sneak away.

 

Keith giggles into the crook of Lance’s neck, as Lance kisses the top of Keith’s head. Lance had to be up on the tips of his toes these days just to reach the top of Keith’s head. How was Keith still growing even as they enter the realm of adults?   


“Can’t we just stay like this forever? Forever and ever until the sun goes down?” Keith whined. He had spent the better half of his adolescence harboring feelings for boys, which explained his anticipation and eagerness to clear the air and just unapologetically announce to the world who he is.

 

Lance chuckled. He wasn’t as bothered as Keith from his teammates off-putting remarks. While this whirlwind romance was a reawakening for Keith, it was discovery for Lance. A discovery that Lance was more than ready to take slow. “One day we will.” He decided on at long last, bringing Keith closer to him. “One day we will be able to wake up and stay just like this, but for now this will have to do.” They stared out the small window. It was their last motel before going back to the Garrison, and while they enjoyed sneaking away with their debauchery, it would be comforting to return to their semblance of home on Earth.

 

Keith rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. Lance chuckled. “How can we show our faces while hiding a _dirty_ secret?” He said, in an awful attempt at what could have been a British accent.

 

Lance smiled and dragged Keith along. “You were closeted for most of your life, darling. I want to make sure that your coming out is the most extravagant event in the galaxy.”

* * *

“We’re pulling up on the Garrison.” Hunk announced as he peered eagerly out the window, as if none of them noticed the gigantic welcome sign they passed by just a mile back.

 

Keith cast a glance at Lance, and the look felt indeterminable. It meant a thousand things at once. All at once and in no time at all, Keith wanted to say an anthology of things.

 

  1. I don’t really want to make my coming out a big deal. (But would it be sin to say the thought tempts me?)
  2. I want to tell Shiro in private. He was the closest thing I’ve ever had to family, and it just feels right that he knows before the rest of the world knows.
  3. I don't want to spoil anyone's moment.
  4. I don't want to hide our relationship.
  5. I'm not ashamed of you, Lance.



Keith remembers the flicker of hurt that passes by in their conversations about telling the crew that appears in stealthy shadows, casting darkness on the dewy features of the boy he had fallen head over heels for. And as Keith was staring at Lance, as Lance stretched his arms and kicked his legs back, Keith realised that his anthology of things were simply a list of things that Keith had been nitpicking about in his brain during the downtimes of the day. (And when you aren't skittering off on a mission to save all of humanity and the known universe, downtime consisted of all your time.)

 

In reality, Keith's anthology of things was much more than little nuances and small irregularities that he would rather do without. Keith's anthology of things, his rules of the game, they were everything that he ever stood for. They dictated his choices, and everything that he had ever known and ever loved.

 

And so, there were more than requests and statements that begin with "I don't..." on Keith Kogane's list of things to tell Lance with just a single look.

 

  1. I want to stay with you Lance. Even if this doesn't work out, I want you to always be my right hand man.
  2. Everyone I meet always leaves. Please don't leave me.
  3. This is what life is about, I think. Life isn't fighting to see the sun, or being the poster child of war. Survival is fighting. Modelling on propaganda posters. Life, on the contrary, was midnight kisses and the lingering ghost of a hand once held.



 

Keith was never so good with words, but right now he felt like he could write a Petrarchan Sonnet if it were to be his plea to the heavens. He could write a soliloquy, if he pleased.

 

Writing was once thing, but speaking was another. And Keith was never good with words. Lance was. So instead of striding over to Lance, sprouting an imitation of that cocksure grin that Lance always has plastered to his face, Keith stays put. He spins his finger in circles around a groove in the leather seat. And he looks at Lance and tries to convey every emotion in his body. He closes his eyes and lets the emotion bubble up inside him

 

Anger. Fear. Fury. Softness. Rebirth. New life. All the things Keith never thought he would know.

 

Love, most of all.

* * *

 

By the time the trailer is fully unloaded and the ragtag team of heroes tumbles out of their Garrison trailer on loan, the sky was a plum coloured twilight and Keith's skin was scratchy from the prickly desert heat.

 

Lance stumbled off to bed as soon as the trailer came to a screeching halt, and Pidge went with Allura and the other officials to analyze their data collected and parts brought in for their mission fully.

 

The other members of his team either helped unpack their horde of souvenirs and tacky tourist shirts, or stumbled off to bed following suit with Lance.

 

Keith was the last one, standing at the yawning entrance of the Galaxy Garrison.

The Garrison was on a plateau, with the far end of the mountainous ravine dipping slowly in front of the entrance. As freshman the common student would come to the entrance to stargaze, or to look at the sprawling towns below. It reminded Keith of when he first went to the Garrison, a scrawny kid on a scholarship with the vocabulary of a fifth grader and the vulgarity of a pirate.

 

"Makes me think of when you first stole my car." A familiar voice says, ticking on the hairs at the nape of Keith's neck.

 

Keith had called Shiro dutifully every Sunday at 9pm. Sometimes they were business calls, reporting back to him on how their team was doing (when in truth Keith was doing no such work). Or sometimes, he just called Shiro because he missed him. It was strange hearing Shiro's voice in person after all these months. It was not like many said, that a person's voice on the telephone was gruffer or raspier. Shiro in person, simply sounded sharper. Keith definitely thought sharper and in more clarity, with the comfort of knowing his best friend and revered teammate was by his side once more.

 

Keith laughs and spins around. There he stands, Takashi Shirogane. And with Kosmo on a damned leash, as if that would prohibit Kosmo from teleporting directly to Keith's side.

 

Shiro let Keith affectionately play with Kosmo for a moment, letting Keith laugh as Kosmo stood on two feet and he rubbed Kosmo's belly.

 

Shiro looked surprised. In this moment, Keith looked youthful, more boyish than he ever did growing up. It was as if this small vacation of theirs didn't just change his appearance but his mindset too. (Shiro couldn't wait to grill Keith on the team's crazy antics.)

 

After a brief cuddling stint, Shiro enveloped Keith in a great big hug. Shiro smelled like warmth and vanilla twilight. He felt like the familiarity of returning to a place that once meant something so important, that is now insignificant in your life.

 

Keith couldn't help but feel remarkably different from who he was just a few short months ago. "Hey, Shiro." Keith croaked out, trying to hold back tears. Every reunion with Shiro was a happy one, since he had saved Shiro's life from imminent fatality twice, and a million more times that he was probably unaware of.

 

"Hey, Keith." Shiro replied, a warm smile tugging at every bone in his body.

 

They talked about everything. How Allura apologized to a waiter for using the work Quiznak in public, and Hunk had to apologize to the oblivious waiter as Romelle chastised Allura, saying that she ought to use Quizak instead.

How Shiro's wedding was in just a week, and all the preparation was finally coming to fruition. Shiro's suit was all black, a rich type of linen that would wick off the desert heat. Adam's was pure white, and Keith could just see it now. The couple compliment each other so well.

 

Keith chuckled, as Shiro talked about the insane amounts of food they had to order in preparation for the wedding. "Well, it won't just be the best wedding this world had ever seen, but it will be the best wedding this _universe_ had ever seen!" Keith remarked.

 

Shiro laughed. He seemed happier these days, laughter more carefree. "Don't get me started on the invitations. The pressure is starting to get to me. You know. The whole 'the entire universe is watching the leader of Voltron exchange in some weird human ritual' pressure." He said dryly, as Keith broke out in laughter.

 

Keith smiled. He knew how many diplomats they had to attend to, as the Voltron Coalition was still strung precariously in place. "Who did you send invitations to?"

 

Shiro sighed. "You know, the usual. Balmerans. A handful of Marmoran Galra. Lotor's Alteans. Etherians." He said, sucking in a breath. "And then there are all the people on Earth we had to attend to. Press coverage. All of our human family invitations." He said with a tired, but satisfied smile.

 

Keith smiled too, and it didn't feel forced. For once in his life it felt like he wasn't living a lie. And as the sun dipped slowly into the violet horizon, Keith felt the overwhelming urge to tell Shiro right now.

 

He could imagine the scenario right now. "Shiro. I'm gay. Or well, I don't really know. But I kissed Lance. Yeah, the Lance that threatened to stick me in a wormhole the other time. Yeah, the Lance that I accidentally led into an electric force field during our first trainings. Yes Shiro, the one that I cradled in my arms. So yeah. We kissed. And Lance doesn't know if he's gay or bisexual or not, which is fucking stupid because he kissed me and I'm a guy, and that's plenty gay. Then again, what do you expect? Lance himself is really fucking stupid."

 

He could imaging Shiro's mouth flattening into a thin line, the way that it did when he was readying himself to make a tough decision in the heat of battle. Keith could imagine Shiro nodding empathetically as Keith continued. "And, it's so weird. I know I should feel safe telling you this and I should have told you that I liked guys as soon as I met you, because hell, you were practically ready to elope with Adam when I first met you. So I never had any reason to feel unsafe with you, but I do. And I just feel so strange. I'm so happy, I'm on top of the world right now. But I'm also so fucking angry, Shiro. Why am I so fucking angry?"

 

He imagines himself finishing his speech, but that is where Keith's creativity wanes. He can't imagine what Shiro would say next. So when Shiro asks Keith; "What did you get up to over your holiday?"

Keith just smiles sadly and shakes his head, throat going dry.

 

_Nothing much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading ! pls comment and kudos, they mean the most and inspire me to pump out chapters quicker n longer <33


	18. Temporary Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the princesses of power meet the defenders of the universe.
> 
> this chapter is a she-ra x voltron crossover! if you ship catradora/watch she-ra, feel free to read this chapter!!
> 
> you want to skip this chapter because you don't ship catradora/watch she-ra you can, since it has no impact on the canon storyline! but if you haven't seen she-ra before it's fine because adora and catra are essentially original characters. the choice is up to you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you ship catradora/watch she-ra, feel free to read this chapter!!
> 
> however, if you don't ship catradora/watch she-ra, you can skip this chapter, but i have made this chapter readable for both viewers and non-viewers of she-ra. (i treated catra and adora as original characters, so even if you've never seen she-ra you won't be too lost)
> 
> on the other hand, this chapter is kind of like a bonus chapter (kind of like anime OVAs) so if you decide to skip this chapter don't worry about it! this chapter has no impact on the main plot and the story is completely readable even if you decide to skip.

By the time the sleepy desert sun had come up on the horizon, the Arusians and Balmerans were heading course for the Milky Way. On the planet of Saturn were the space shuttles of the Marmoran Galra (with Krolia vivaciously spearheading the trek) and what was left of Romelle's Lotor breed of Altean. As Keith and Lance stumbled outside on the landing strip of the Galaxy Garrison, two ships were making their way to the planet. They were small in size and carried passengers of all shapes and sizes. One of them was the distinct Olkarion, and the other the glittering Etherian.

 

Queen Angella of the Etherian ship with a smile, talking placidly to Princess Allura. Keith distantly remembers Etheria, a strange Earth like planet that was always warm. But that was all he remembered of Etheria, a small planet with a rich history and family friends with Allura. They played a part in the coalition, but they were minor amongst the gargantuan fight against the Galra.

 

"Do you remember these people?" Lance said with a smirk, looking at Keith's confused face with that same playful competitiveness that may possibly never wear down between them.

 

Keith shakes his head as Allura strides over to them, Lance mouthing "Who are these people?" in the least subtle way possible.

 

Allura laughed. "The planet of Etheria was good trading partners with Altea. We shared many things in common, but one of them being our shared roots to First Ones magic and alchemy."

 

Lance distantly remembers the lessons Coran and Allura gave the team at the beginning of their journey, making the distinction between Galra sorcery and First Ones magic. All he could really remember was that Galra sorcery was bad and that First Ones magic was good. He continued listening as Allura wove a brief tapestry of the planet's history. "The Planet of Etheria is distinct in that not everyone has magic, much like Altea. But the princesses that do have magic are far and few between, tied directly to runestones." She hastened out. Keith was barely paying attention. Etheria sounded like a lavish place, and from what he remembered they did not encounter any Galra ambushes, but it wasn't the most pressing thing in the world. Shiro's wedding was in less than a week, for crying out loud!

 

Allura looked around, hailing over a girl about Keith and Lance's age, wearing what appeared to be a light maroon coloured uniform and was walking beside a cat-Galra hybrid wearing the same uniform. "Princess Adora!" Allura exclaimed, walking over to the pair, and then instantly shoving them towards a bewildered Keith and Lance.

Allura looked around as more space shuttles began to land. She wanted to make introductions and not lecture teens, the typical princess.

"You remember Princess Adora and Catra, right?" Allura said hurriedly.

The blonde one raised up a hand. "It's just Adora, actually."

Allura looked over Adora's shoulder. "Adora and Catra will fill you guys in on any questions you have on Etheria."

 

Keith and Lance scrambled to find the words they were looking for, when at last Lance managed to stutter something in bewilderment. "Um, actually I think we're all caught up on Etheria." Lance said, and Keith nodded vigorously.

 

"Yup. Princesses. Runestones. Magic." Keith added. The cat-like one, the one with one blue eye and one yellow eye scoffed.

 

The blonde, Adora, raised an eyebrow. "Great. Do you mind giving me a tour of the Garrison premises, then? It's my first time on Earth.

 

Lance smiled wide and nodded. "Of course! Me and Ke-" 

 

The cat-like girl threw her arm around Adora. "I think Adora means, can you give us a tour of the Garrison premises?"

 

Adora shoved the other girl off of her. "Catra, get off of me. Just because we're on a temporary truce doesn't mean that we're suddenly friends again." She chastised. Keith and Lance shoot each other a look. A look that says everything, a look that says "been there, done that."

 

Catra smirked. "Let's go!" She said, following as Keith and Lance awkwardly began their tour.

 

They walked in awkward silence for a few moments when Lance broke the silence. "So, temporary truce, huh?" Lance asked.

 

Adora nodded with a sigh. Catra smirk got even wider and deeper, if even possible. It was clear that Catra found her joy from watching Adora get exasperated. There was something vaguely familiar about the way the two of them interacted. 

 

"There are two factions of Etheria. The Rebellion, which includes me, Princess Glimmer, Queen Angella, Princess Mermista, Frosta, Perfuma, and the other freedom fighters who were the first settlers after the First Ones left." Adora said, as Catra kept her arm slung around Adora.

 

"And then there is the Horde. Or the Evil Horde, as they're sometimes known." 

 

"Hey! That's your family you're talking about!" Catra cut in. 

 

Keith raised an eyebrow, and Catra chuckled. It reminded him of a witches' laugh. "Adora here used to be the Horde's golden girl." Catra quipped, straining out every single vowel of Adora's name teasingly. 

 

"Before she became Princess She-Ra, she was the face of the Horde. And then she left me for goody-two-shoes Glimmer and that irritating Angella." She said with a laborious eye roll.

 

Adora nudged Catra off of her, which just led to Catra clinging on harder. "I was an orphan, which meant that the Horde took me and raised me completely sheltered from the world."

 

"I was an orphan too!" Keith added, and Adora's eyes lit up.

 

"Really? Were you held captive by an evil empire and raised to be their leader?" She asked, with no sarcasm as if it were the most normal and mundane thing in the galaxy.

 

Lance let out a bark of laughter. "No, he's not." Lance replied, turning a corner into an empty walkway and holding onto the hand of Keith.

 

Adora chuckled and picked up where she left off before she was cut off by Catra. "So, yeah. Currently the Horde weakened our defenses on Bright Moon, the nation's capital. But the invitation to the leader of Voltron's wedding, that's a big deal!" Adora said, sounding like a woman who had grown up too early.

 

Just like Keith and Lance, war had caused her to grow up too fast. 

 

Keith smiled, as they made their way to the gardens. "Me and Adora were best friends!" Catra said with enthusiasm. "We were inseparable! There was no stopping us! It was Catra and Adora, versus the world!"

 

The group held silent for just a beat. "You know, until Adora decided she was too good for the Horde and decided to join the Rebellion to hone her secret powers and find out who her real parents are. Anyways, we're on a truce right now. So me and Adora are best friends once again!" Catra said, with a manic sort of energy that made Keith feel unsafe.

 

All of them chuckled uneasily, as they entered the greenhouse, which was a lush garden filled with alien vegetation ready for experimentation. As Catra and Adora roamed around the greenhouse, Lance pulled Keith into a corner.

 

Keith's hands instantly wrapped around Lance's waist. It was practically instinct at this point. Leaning into the crook of Lance's neck, he heard Lance chuckle. "Catra and Adora..." Lance hummed, as Keith chuckled back softly.

 

"Catra and Adora." Keith said definitively, as he watched Adora place an orchid in Catra's ear, as Catra clawed it out. Adora's youthful laughter filled the air. "They really are something, huh?"

 

Lance nodded, as they swayed in the garden breeze. He wasn't worried anyone would see them, as they were all busy with wedding preparations either way. And as for Catra and Adora? They were too busy familiarising themselves with the Earth plantlife to notice their tour guides in the corner.

 

"They remind me of someone. Two someones." Lance said, as he heard Adora and Catra who were wielding bouquets of flowers.

 

"I have to give these to Perfuma! She'll love them!" Adora exclaimed, as Catra braided a wreath of black roses and wrapped it around her neck like a choker. 

 

Catra snorted. "Perfuma? Is that who you're dating now?" 

 

Adora frowned, and she looked genuinely upset at Catra's teasing. Something in their mood shifts, and it feels uneasy for a second. "Catra, you know I'm not dating anybody." She said, as they walk down another hall of the gardens and they're out of earshot.

 

"When will they say it?" Lance said with a smile.

Keith leaned into Lance as they continued to sway to the beat of their own hearts. "Say what?" He asked, a little too on the nose as he tried to sound oblivious.

 

"Say that they have feelings for each other." Lance said simply.

 

Keith was quiet for a moment. "We don't know what they've been through. But they certainly do remind me of us." He said softly, as he leaned up to Lance and kissed him on the nose. "If Catra was just as hurt about Adora joining the Rebellion as I was when you joined the Blade of Marmora, and if their relationship just from what I've seen today is anything to go by, I do hope that if they have feelings for each other they make it seen."

 

Keith nodded. "Me too. It's a bit strange, isn't it? How similar we are?" He replied.

 

Lance nodded. "We have some similarities, but you and me, Keith and Lance, we're different from Catra and Adora. We have different stories, and we have different origins. You can't exactly say that we're the male version of Catra and Adora because our lives are so different."

 

Keith chuckled. "Hey. When did you get so smart?" He said, as Lance laughed.

 

Keith paused for a short while longer. "I agree. I left Voltron to work for the Blade of Marmora, but it was still part of the rebellion. I can't imagine what it would be like for Catra when Adora left for their rebellion."

 

"It would have been as if you joined the Galra." Lance added.

 

"Yeah. And we're just really different. We were enemies to lovers, you know. And them, if they ever did date, were lovers to enemies. Or at least friends to enemies. To lovers, I hope." Keith said with a sly chuckle. "But even if they aren't in love with each other, I hope they figure out their friendship again. All those years of friendship don't just go away overnight." Keith added.

 

Lance looked at Keith, as he held his whole universe in his arms. He kissed Keith, and it felt like the first time they kissed all over again.

* * *

 

Adora and Catra were bathed in flowers by the time they were walking back to the Garrison campgrounds right in the training desert of the Galaxy Garrison. Adora, in flowers of pinks and whites and every colour of the rainbow. Catra, in blacks and reds and the odd yellow and blue flower here and there. Catra was close to Adora, their hips bumping into each other and touching almost every step of the way. They swear they hate each other, but they never step away. And that was how they walked. Keith and Lance, hand in hand. Adora and Catra bumping into each other and practically glued to the other, sneaking glances and swearing words of hatred. Adora and Catra were only a few years younger than Keith and Lance, (Etherian years were surprisingly similar to Earth years) but Keith felt like he was more experienced, at least in this one field. He felt like he was watching the start of something new, the fruition or the rebirth of either a romance or a rekindled friendship.

 

Either one is completely fine.

 

The air was cool and the sky was dark once dinner was finished up. There were several bonfires and logs for the aliens to sit on that made the campsite seem incredibly domesticated and slovenly. It felt comforting.

 

Lance lay down on Keith's lap as they both looked up at the stars and closed their eyes. Both of them were thinking the same thing but wouldn't dare say it.

 

Those were the stars where they fell in love. Not underneath the all the star and sky, but in it. They fell in love in the stars. How rare and strange and special does an opportunity occur.

 

Maybe it's Keith's heightened Galra senses, or maybe it's the fact that Catra and Adora didn't notice Keith and Lance covered in the darkness, but Keith could overhear Catra and Adora's conversation almost perfectly.

 

"We're on a temporary truce, right?" Catra's voice.

A beat of silence. Keith closes his eyes tighter. He can imagine Adora nodding.

"I miss you, Adora."

Adora stayed silent, and then there was a shuffle. "I miss you too, miss Second in Command." She said, nudging playfully. Catra laughs, but it’s dry and empty. 

 

"Can't you come back, Adora? I can't do this without you." Catra's voice seemed weak, and completely unlike how it sounded earlier.

"You almost killed me, Catra! How could I go back? It's not just you that wants my head, it's everybody! Lord Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all my Horde teammates. They all think I'm a traitor."

 

"You are, though." Catra says, in that familiar know it all voice.

Adora chuckles. "I am. I'm a traitor."

There's a silence between them. "Would I be a traitor if I hold your hand?" Catra.

 

Adora's voice comes out as just a whisper as Keith drifts off to sleep. “Temporary truce.” She whispers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was the calm before the storm. only 2 chapters to go, and the next chapter is a smooth 3k long angsty journey.


	19. ¿Qué pensaría Dios de tus acciones?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> content warning: minor use of homophobic language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8 days to go until voltron (and this fic!) ends ! it has been wild my dudes  
> i started this fic a day after s7 premiered, and therefore i find it fitting that this fic will end a day before s8 premiers,  
> the next chapter will be out by monday (hopefully!) and the epilogue out by thursday. just in time for friday, just in time to watch all our ships go down.

 

The days spent in the lead up to Shiro's wedding follow the same strange series of events. Lance had taken it upon himself to organize the wedding proper, while Keith and Allura were working as a super-powerful tag team duo that attended to all the interplanetary delegates that came to attend Shiro's wedding.

 

The legend of Voltron was no longer a myth, or an old folk tale or fable that an Olkarion mother would tell her children before bed, but it was now a modern legend. And the paladins of Voltron, they were legends in their own right.

Aside from their brief day off when they toured the greenhouses and stargazed the first night they spent back at the Garrison, Keith didn't have much time to talk to Lance. The last time they talked, Lance asked Keith if he had told Shiro yet.

 

"Did you tell Shiro?" Lance asked, swinging on his heels.

Keith shook his head. "I had no time." He admitted, even if he knew very well that there was a perfect time to tell Shiro, to tell him everything.

 

Lance gulped, and nodded. Though he tried to mask his pain, Keith saw right through Lance.

Lance was never good at hiding his emotions. He would think with his heart first and then later with his head. If there was a cute girl (or boy, for that matter) that he wanted to make his move on, he would waste no time. He loved wholeheartedly and unapologetically. It was one of the reasons why Keith loved Lance so much. He was so genuine, putting his heart on his sleeve every single time  he tried.

 

And yet, for that reason it was why Keith understood how hard it was for Lance to hide his relationship. He was flamboyant and extroverted, and nothing phased him. They haven't exactly defined just what it was they were yet, (Lance would say that they were "soulmates, and boyfriends" but Keith would just smirk knowingly and say that they "were just passing the time". For some reason Keith knew that his words would strike a nerve with Lance.

 

"I'll tell him." Keith said at last, giving Lance a tight hug.

That was five days ago, and the wedding was now tomorrow.

 

There was no better person to be Shiro's best man than Keith. Because there were two grooms and no brides, Adam's best man was his brother. Keith was attending to a million things at once, none of them being his heart.

 

There were place cards to print. Playlists to delegate. Choreographies and rehearsals to make sure that Shiro got the wedding he deserved.

Things were just starting to get increasingly more hectic as Krolia arrived.

 

Krolia and her squadron arrived at dusk, and the first thing Keith did was envelope her in a hug. He suddenly realised with a quick, startling epiphany that he absolutely must certainly tell his mother before he told Shiro.

But as one thing led to another, Keith's words got the best of him. And his secret stayed a secret just a while longer. That night, Lance found some spare time right after wedding preparation ended and before dinner began. It was that blissful moment, when there was a lapse and he knew just where to find Keith.

 

"Old habits die hard, eh?" Lance said, as he watched Keith spar with a rudimentary version of their Gladiator they had back on the Castle of Lions.

Keith let his blade drop to the ground. There were several red spots of food colouring that were supposed to mimic blood. He smiled at Lance as Lance tried to wrap him in an embrace.

Keith tried to wrench free from Lance's grasp. "I'm sweaty!" He exclaimed, which just made Keith chuckle.

 

They got stuck like this, just like they always were. Even when they were at their best, there were still the friendly natured spats that left them fighting in place.

But the lights were low, and the sun had fully set. And Keith could see the gray-blue flecks of light that made Lance's eyes look heavenly.

 

"Hey." Keith breathed out, looking into the oblivion of Lance's eyes.

 

Lance licked his lower lip and smiled. The wedding orchestra was practising outside the training hall, and the sound was melodic. "Hey." He said, as he took Keith's hand.

Neither of them were the best dancers, but they were given rudimentary training in the likes of ballroom dance from Allura and Coran, should the paladins of Voltron ever need to attend a gala or a ball. Keith put his arms around Lance's waist and smiled as Lance's hands held onto Keith's shoulders firmly.

 

"I can't wait to dance with you tomorrow night." Lance said, as they swayed to the beat, slow and steady underneath all of the haze. Outside he could hear the others enjoying themselves in the brisk moonlight, and he could be sure that on the other side of this wall there was a couple, just like him and Keith who were dancing as if the world depended on it.

Keith's eyes fluttered away for a moment before he pasted on another smile. "You call this dancing?" He scoffs, with an incredulous laugh. The corners of Lance's mouth tilt up once more. Lance simply couldn't help it -- every single time Keith smiled just made Lance smile even wider. Keith's smile was infectious in every right.

 

Lance spins Keith around and holds him closer to his own heart. "This-" Keith said, giving Lance a languid kiss on the cheek. "Isn't-" Keith dips Lance. "Dancing." Lance trips, and Keith chuckles loudly.

 

"This is just swaying in time with the music!" He exclaimed, as Lance looked at him in bewilderment and wonder. Keith would never get enough of the way Lance looked at him. Lance looked at Keith as if he was given all the stars and made a home.

 

"Certainly-" Lance twirled.

"-the Arusians-" Lance gave Keith a kiss on the forehead.

"-are better dancers-" Keith rested his head in the crook of Lance's neck.

"-than us! Do you remember that bizarre sacrificial ritual they did! I bet those Arusians are so good at dancing."

 

Lance laughed. “Fine. I can’t wait to sway in time with the music with you.” He said with a soft grin.

Lance knew Keith too well. “What is it?” He asked, as Keith’s eyes flickered away and his smile faltered.

“I haven’t told anyone about us yet.” Keith admitted.

 

Lance chuckled uneasily. "It's okay. We can tell everyone at the wedding tomorrow night."

Keith's eyes falter as Lance spins him around, but this time Lance doesn't notice it. "Just imagine it." Lance said with a smile.

"It's the final song of the night, and Shiro and Adam have cut the cake." Lance said with a soft smile. Keith closed his eyes and swayed to the sound of their heartbeats.

"The night is coming to a close, but there's one song left. Everyone is dancing but not really." Lance continues, voice coming out so low and soft it takes more effort than Keith would like to understand what he was saying.

"And then, there's a pause." Lance said, and Keith could feel his heart drop. As if they were there in the moment already.

"Lance McClain, the pilot of the Red lion. What's he doing with Keith?" Lance said, putting on another voice. Keith closes his eyes and continues to sway.

 

"Keith takes Lance's outstretched hand. They stand up together. What are they doing?" Lance said, voice becoming more rapid and insistent.

 

_What were they doing?_

 

Keith pulled away suddenly, startling Lance.

Keith looked at Lance, and he could feel all of the sadness that he kept in his heart boil to the surface. "I-" Keith began, but the words didn't appear at his command.

 

Lance's mouth flattens into a small line. "You don't want to dance with me tomorrow night." He says at last, the revelation feeling like a punch in the gut.

 

Keith doesn't want to move. He doesn't want to confirm what had already been said. He knew in his heart that was the ultimate truth, but it hurt him more than words could ever.

"I-" Keith starts again, but his throat is dry.

"Are you ashamed of me?" Lance said, taking a step back. He moved on such an instinct one might think he was physically injured, but Keith knew better. Keith knew Lance always wore his heart on his sleeve, and he still did this to him.

Keith could feel the white hot anger bubble up around him. "I'm not ashamed of you!" He spat out, and suddenly there were a million angry thoughts running through his mind.

Keith raked a hand through his hair. "This isn't about you, Lance."

 

"Then what is this about?" Lance asked.

 

"Everything!" Keith exclaimed, trying to let the words stop pouring out of him. It was impossible, to stop the avalanche from caving in. To stop the truth from coming out.

 

"You were never beat up as a kid because you used to hang with the dykes! You were never expelled because you punched the _perfect_ James Griffin who told you that your parents left you because you were gay! You were never the one that was always misled, always seen as a freak because _one_ time, one _fucking_ time, someone snapped a photo of you and a boy behind the school yard grounds!" Keith exclaimed.

 

And all the anger poured out of him. He shattered into pieces so small, they fluttered away in the wind.

Lance paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked softly, though his features were set and rigid.

Keith shook his head. “I never told anyone. Not even Shiro.” He said, and then took a deep breath. “He must have known already, because the Garrison gave me hell over my background check. Not that he minded.”

 

“Is that why the Garrison mattered so much to you? Why you just _had_ to be the best?” Lance asked weakly.

Keith nodded reluctantly. “The Garrison was where nobody knew who I was. It was a start.” He said, as he began to weave the story of his first day at school.

* * *

 

Keith was late to the first day of the rest of his life. Or, Shiro was. Keith could barely keep still as he slurped up a soggy bowl of cereal and put on his uniform. As Shiro walked into the kitchen, he smiled at Keith. “You look great, Keith.” He said, taking in Keith and beaming with almost paternal pride.

Keith nodded, as he began to stow away the rest of his things in his suitcase and duffel, as they began to close up the apartment. He was ready to go to the Garrison. When he arrives at the Garrison, everyone seems to be staring at Shiro at first, but then he quickly realises that everyone was staring at him. “Why are they staring at me?” Keith said to Shiro, who was walking alongside him, right before Keith reached the truth himself.

 

Shiro was a celebrity in the International Space Community. The youngest to go to space, the youngest to get into the Garrison, the youngest and best and brightest the space station had ever seen. And there Keith was a head shorter and sticking out like a sore thumb as Shiro walked into the Garrison as if he owned the place. No wonder they were staring at him. They walk into the sign in booth, as he writes his name down in red pen ink.

 

They were staring at him because he was _Keith Kogane,_ scholarship extraordinaire.

They were staring at him because he was the best friend of Takashi Shirogane before anyone could even get the chance to speak to Shiro even once.

For once, they weren’t staring at him because he was gay.

 

After signing in, they take a place across from the entrance columns, as he ties his hair back into a neat tail. A light drizzle patters on the school roof, and Shiro says something funny, and Keith’s lips pull into a smirk, but the laughter doesn’t rise to his eyes. His eyes are watching a puddle outside fill and overflow with water, as reflections dance in the water.

 

The people move by him in a blur. He didn't know anyone here, with the exception of Shiro, who by now was Keith's good friend. There were several people moving about, walking with an impertinence that he couldn't place. But there were also some people, the freshman lazing about near the pillars. Keith spots one now, wearing the same gleaming uniform and the same brand-new duffel. He watches the boy across from him, as he stares into the puddle as Keith does. Keith flicks him a quick smile.

 

Keith looks away. He takes in the scenery, boys and girls of every gender and race wearing the same uniform. _Coexisting._ It was a new beginning, far away from the horrors of his traumatic past.

* * *

 

Lance lets Keith finish speaking. There’s a long silence that stretches between them before Lance finally speaks up. “I remember that day.” He says, staring at Keith intently.

 

Lance was carrying a big cardboard box and most of his vision was obscured, but from what he could see, he knew exactly what he was looking at. The only scholarship holder from Arizona, the kid from the upstate high school. As he filed in right behind the boy to write down their names, Lance saw his name written in red pen ink, and for some reason, it made him smile.

Keith Kogane.

 

Keith’s hair was tied with a band into a small and stubby little tail, but parts of his hair were falling to the front of his face. Lance squinted and leaned up against the column. Everyone was fitted for their uniforms and gave their measurements via email, but Keith’s grey and orange uniform still looked two sizes too big, as if he was just a kid wearing a grown up’s uniform. It made Lance feel that same, fleeting feeling. Warm and fuzzy and a little bit languid. He was progress in the making  -- Keith was the finished product. He was every inch Garrison cadet without even knowing his way around the school grounds. And at this point Lance decides that he very truly feels small and insignificant in the world.

 

There was a light drizzle as a puddle filled up near him and the air smelled like petrichor. As Lance looked into the puddle, he realised that he looked the exact same. Like a child in a grown up world, a million light years away from his childhood home in Varadero without leaving the planet. That feeling of smallness, the one that never really goes away.

 

He looks at Keith now as Keith’s lips pull into a smirk, then a grin, and then finally a smile that makes Lance feel a little strange and fuzzy. The feeling is fleeting, but it reminds him of something long ago, of school formals and quiet nights. Lance only ever had one girlfriend, Jenny Shaybon who wasn’t even considered a girlfriend, really. She made Lance feel the same strange things, warm and curious and just a little bit yearning. But Lance looks at Keith now, and he feels something else. A strange sensation of coming home. He never felt like that with Jenny, and he was actually with Jenny and not just looking at someone across the hall. He never felt like this with anyone.

* * *

 

Keith was tearing up now, but Lance could barely look at him. “Keith.”

 

Keith looks at Lance as Lance gulps. “I love you, Keith.”

 

There’s a pause, but the Earth doesn’t shake. The heavens don’t fall and the skies don’t shower them with gold. The seconds tick by slowly as Keith finds the words he so dearly wanted to say. The words he wanted to say since he first met Lance when they were rescuing Shiro.

 

“I love you too, Lance.” He said, but both of them were frozen. Their words felt ice-cold.

 

Lance thinks about every single time Keith had put himself in the line of fire. Every single time he took a bullet. But scars can be healed. Words stay with a person forever.

“I love you so much, Keith.” Lance began.

 

“But you need to wrestle with your demons before you can battle mine.”

 

“What?” Keith says, voice barely a whisper.

“I love you so much, Keith. I would do anything for you, but I cannot help you fix what you experienced in the past. I cannot save that part of you. Only you can. And I’ll never stop hating myself for not being there for you. And I want to save you. And I want you to save me.”

 

Lance thinks about how he hasn’t told his family yet. How he’s the one eager to tell the world _hey world, I’m in love with a boy!_ but he’s also the one taking the most precautions, going into old closets and trying to shut off his mind. He tries not to think about his mother chastising him. His mother saying, “ _Querida, ¿qué pensaría Dios de tus acciones?_ ”

Lance always thought of nine year old him, asking his mother what that meant in English.

His mother would sigh, and she would say,

“Darling, but what would the Lord say about your actions?”

 

Lance tries to think of anything. He tries to think of Keith. How right it feels when he kisses Keith.

But there’s that part of him that will always think he’s on a road paved straight to Hell. No matter how many times he tells himself that he renounced his faith. That he would rather have no stars and no heaven.

 

“I think we need to save ourselves first. Before we can save each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *english to spanish definitions:  
> Querida, ¿qué pensaría Dios de tus acciones? / ¿qué pensaría Dios de tus acciones?  
> My darling, what will the Lord say about your actions? / What will God think of your actions?  
> any grammatical translation errors please forgive, i used google translate lmao
> 
> thank u for reading this insanely wild chapter! no promises if the next will be any softer :)


	20. What a Beautiful Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> said a bridesmaid to a waiter,  
> oh yes but what a shame  
> what a shame the poor best man is a  
> pining anxious gay mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go, the penultimate chapter. <3  
> this chapter is incredibly painful, something that hurt me from the depths of my soul.  
> the finale to this wonderful addition in my life will be on december 14th, 2018. (yes, one day right before the finale to the other "wonderful" addition to my life, voltron season 8.)
> 
> another thing that hurt the depths of my soul, i recently finished "at the edge of the universe" by shaun david hutchinson! if you're into mlm philosophy gays i 12/10 recommend.

Lance stands up first, leaving Keith up against the wall in petrifying shock.

 

It takes several moments for Keith to get a hold of his bearings and fully process what happened.

And when he does understand just what went down between him and Lance moments before, Keith finds himself running.

 

Keith is running, that was what he did. He always took off running every which way. The only way he knew how to deal with problems was to run away from them, either metaphorically or literally.

He doesn’t know what he’s running to, but all Keith knows is that he needs to keep running at all costs. He has to keep running, he has to keep going. Keith has to keep running or else the emotions that are spiralling out of control inside of him will spill every which way.

 

Wherever he went, he ran. Keith ran because he had to keep running in order to catch up with those who merely paced. Keith ran because nobody ever taught him to slow down. The only person that showed Keith how to slow down was Lance. And Lance doesn’t even want to be with him right now, so look how that went.

He makes his way through the empty halls, his footsteps resounding against the metal flooring. His eyes brush past the classrooms that were out from the summer, the classrooms that he used to spend all his time in.

And then, his face is red hot and he can feel his brain being pushed into overdrive. He can feel every nerve ending in his body sparking alive. Is this shutting down, or going out?

Keith is running up stairs and jumping off ledges. He’s running so fast, because he just needs to outrun his brain. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he catches up to his brain. The fear of falling apart is too much for him to fathom.

 

He’s running up staircases and finds himself in the residential quarters. Right outside his mother’s door.

His brain is catching up to him. His heart is screaming terrible things. Keith knocks once to no answer.

 

He knocks again.

And again.

 

And then the door opens. Krolia looks at her son with a strange sense of fear.

 

“Mom. I fucked up."

And Keith’s brain catches up to his body.

And he falls apart all over again.

* * *

 

Keith takes a seat, tries not to let tears spill out of his body and takes a deep breath. He tells his mother everything.

 

He starts at the beginning. How he never noticed Lance until they saved Shiro. How every single time he looked behind, Lance was always there. How Lance always had Keith’s back. How the wind was knocked out of him at the very thought of losing Lance. Cradling him in his arms and carrying him to freedom. Leaving Team Voltron — the only family he truly had — because he’d rather sacrifice his own satisfaction if it meant that Lance would find a place in the team. Refusing to wake up every single day he was in the Blade of Marmora because it would be another day without Lance. Laying awake at night wondering what he did that made Lance hate him so much. Falling in love with him on Earth. Figuring out his own heart long after everyone already did. The argument they had and what followed after.

 

If Krolia empathised with her son in any way, she didn’t let him know it. Her omnipresent sneer stayed exactly where it always is. She busied herself with carving a chunk out of the cherrywood table with her Blade of Marmora issued blade. Keith poured his heart out, as the luxite glowed purple.

 

Before she was the head of operations at the Blade of Marmora, she had to undergo the same initiation procedures as everyone else. The physical trials and mental exams were easy, but there was just one portion of the procedure that she had a hard time coping with.

 

On the day of every Marmorite’s initiation into the Blade, they are required to recite the same incantation in order to receive their blade.

 

_I renounce who I was in order to become who I will be._

 

Krolia repeated the saying many times in blind faith, but late at night did she dissect the meaning of the words. She renounced her past, renegade life in exchange for organised power. Krolia renounced the existence of Keith. Her firstborn and only son.

 

She never broke from the incantation. Krolia never spoke of her past life, with some exception. But she looks at her son, and she sees all the years that have gone by. Krolia sees the fading scar on his cheek, the jaw line sharpened with the thinning of his baby fat. She sees the lean and taut muscles on his arms, and his loud and insistent eyes.

 

Now she realises that while she had a duty to the Blade of Marmora, she has an even greater duty to her son.

 

Krolia had to tell Keith the story of his father. It would be the only the only way Keith would ever learn.

 “I loved your father very much.” She said sadly. “The hardest thing I had ever done was leave you and your father behind. It was the only way we could save each other and you.”

 Keith closed his eyes. It sounded much like something him and Lance would do.

 “You two love each other. Why did Lance come out of a coma in an instant to save your life? Why did you carry Lance to safety before the battle was even won?”

 Keith stayed silent. Those were the moments that would stay with him forever. He already knew the answer.

 “The Blade believed that love and hope would be key to winning the war, and love knows no bounds. It knows no gender, or race. And if you love Lance, it is because the universe foretold it.”

 Keith nodded, as the spiral unfurling in his heart coils tighter.

* * *

 

The next day, Lance was miserable.

The wedding procession itself was absolutely magical. Each alien race used one of their capabilities in order to make the wedding one of a kind and unlike anything this planet had ever seen. There is a certain beauty about the place, a certain softness that is impossible to determine, so it definitely wasn’t the atmosphere that was making Lance miserable. It was what happened last night. His mind was racing with things to tell Keith, words of apologies and retaliations in case their hearts got the better of them. Screaming matches turned make out sessions.

 

Lance was in the front row of the makeshift chapel, and he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit guilty. Shiro's parents were seated behind him, and it just didn't feel right.

 "Mr. and Mrs. Shirogane, are you sure you don't want to sit up at the front?" He asked guiltily.

 Shiro's mother smiled politely, even after Lance had raised this question ten times in the last six minutes. "No thank you. You deserve this spot more than we do."

 

_You deserve this spot more than we do._

 

Lance just felt guiltier. Did he really do anything? What did he do that made him be deserving of something.

All he did was break hearts. All he did was shatter people who didn't need even more breaking.

He wishes that he could say he didn't miss Keith. He wishes that he could just pin all of the blame on Keith, but he can't. Lance wished he would be more understanding. He wished things didn't end in flames like they always did between the two of them.

 

Fire and ice. That's how their world would end.

 

Everyone rises as the procession begins. Lance's siblings and nieces are the ring bearers and the flower girls. Pidge is the maid of honor, and Matt is Adam's best man.

"I’m so down to Earth, and you’re in the stars. I’ll show you the the sea, and you’ll take me to Mars." Shiro said, beginning his vows and reading a short piece of parchment. "That was what you wrote to me before leaving for Kerberos. You didn't support my actions, but you still loved me. You never stopped loving me, even when we were polar opposites."

 

Keith can't imagine that. Loving someone who you don't even get along with. That was what you called unconditional love, something that Keith would never have.

He almost had it, with Lance. Maybe he still does have it. Somewhere in there, a chance is waiting to blossom.

 

Keith tries not to stare at Lance throughout the ceremony.

* * *

 

Lance grew up around weddings. Cuban weddings were hours long and lasted long hours into the night. Since this could very well be one of the last nights of enjoyment before the defenders of the universe went back to their dayjob, this wedding part was no exception.

The first dance was enchanting. Between Adam's two left feet and Shiro's prosthetic arm, neither of them could dance. They were tripping over each other's feet one too many times and trying not to look over their shoulder at the hordes of aliens vying for a look at the newly wedded couple. Adam blushed, and Shiro lifted up his chin. 

They laughed together, and it felt blissful.

The wedding for the most part was mundane in the most ecstatic sort of way, and Keith grew weary from the merriment. He could barely remember the last time he went to a wedding, if ever, and this one he knew was extra special, as much as it was extra terrestrial.

The cake towered over them and tasted marvelous, and still with all the hungry mouths to feed there was never enough to go around. The whole place was positive energy and laughter. Keith wants to stay in this moment forever.

He drinks and dines and laughs too loudly. He teases Adam and Shiro to no end and makes small talk with the alien delegates. Anything to end the firefight roaring in his mind.

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Lance is doing everything in his power to sneak away. The event venue is wonderful, but everything reminds him of Keith.

In the last week, Keith was in charge of every  single wedding plan. And he can feel Keith's soul, his spirit, reverberate through every inch of the expanse.

He needs to get away, he needs to tell his mother something he refuses to even tell himself.

Lance's mother wasn't old by any account, but she tired easily. After raising four children entirely on her own, the weight of the new world tired her out, and she was always ready for bed by nine in the evening.

 

He crept along the halls of the residential quarters of the Garrison. Lance knows that in a few days after the wedding his family will move into the house an hour from here. The house that Veronica bought for them, the house that Lance will never truly call home, because he went missing way before they purchased the house.

Lance knocks once, and his mother is alone. His younger siblings were still at the wedding with Veronica as their chaperone, though Lance knew Veronica was spending her time making conversation with Princess Allura.

His mother looks surprised, but not upset that Lance came to her room.

"Lance." She says simply, in the Cuban accent that Lance prayed for every night. The Cuban accent Marco and Luis would never have, but the one Veronica would never lose.

Lance is always caught in between having an accent and tearing it to shreds. He hates it.

 

"Can we talk, mama?" He asks, taking a step inside and sitting down on the bed. Lance feels like he's twelve again, young and small and not yet ready to learn the ways of the world.

His mother smiles. "Of course we can."

 Lance doesn't know where to begin, with the events of the last two days playing in ultra saturation. "I want to marry a boy." He says finally, anxiously but without any remorse.

His mother doesn't ask; "My darling, what would God think?" or better yet she holds her tongue, and doesn't say it in Spanish instead.

 "Of course you do." She says, and it is all she ever says. Lance raises an eyebrow, and presses her further.

"You always loved people." She began softly. There was a stir in her heart that was awakening, a time-old premonition coming true. "I think, you were the only one that loved your papa."

 

Your papa. Lance's father was never discussed, not even as children.

 

"Marco and Luis barely remember your father, but Veronica hated him. She hated what he did to our family. You were the only one that still saw the good in people." She said gently, touching the smooth skin of Lance's cheek 

"I knew you always loved people, regardless of what their gender was. You love people, Lance. It is in your nature." Lance's mother said, finishing with a sad smile.

“Are you not worried about what God thinks? That I’ll be sent to Hell?” Lance says, words tumbling out of his mouth with a vapid rate of nothingness.

 

His mother tears up, and Lance can see her true thoughts for just a split second.

 _Yes_.

“You have saved more men than you have loved. And those men that you saved, you give them hope. You are the beacon of light in their lives. You are a saviour, mi amor.”

 

“I am a saviour.” Lance says, tasting the words delicately.  “But I cannot save Keith.”

She blinked back tears and smiled, shaking her head vigorously. “You cannot save him, but you can love him. And love is the highest form of saving.”

* * *

 

The vargas, hours, ticks, and seconds pass by and the night is winding down to an end. It was the last song of the night, and Keith's mind is everywhere. It's a day late, thinking about the time Keith was slow dancing with Lance. Was it really just a day ago?

 

Keith had kept Lance in his line of sight the whole night, just because. And he sees Lance now, smiling politely at something an Arusian said and with his hair pushed back and a subtle gleam dancing on his skin. He looks positively radiant, as if everyone was the wind and tide on this planet he called Lance. On this planet Keith found home.

 

The [song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onby3d2lFDc)was slow, building up to a crescendo. He could feel the build up as if it was stirring his soul. He wanted to move, but he couldn't. He couldn't find the strength in his body and he was beating himself up for it.

 

Hell, he could take down a group of Galra cruisers and be home by dusk. He could single handedly escape Emperor Zarkon's prison ward if he desired. He could dismantle bombs the size of stars, but he couldn't ask Lance - a boy, a human boy - to dance with him?

Keith knew the truth. Taking down Galra, escaping from prison, and dismantling bombs were all things he did out of necessity. Keith never did any of those things just for the fun of it all, but because he was called to greatness. The universe had brought him to his knees and demanded he save the world, because Lord knows nobody else will do it.

In this one moment Keith has total control of how it will end. He has total free will and can choose whatever he wants. The freedom is overwhelming, and he doesn't know where to begin.

 

Shiro shouldn't be able to sneak up on Keith, not after all of the stealth training he did at the Blade of Marmora. But Shiro was a Garrison alumnae, and with his new metal arm that didn't creak every time it moved, he was silent like never before. "Go to him." He said simply, placing his real hand on Keith and startling him.

 

Keith blinks. He can feel himself rising to the bait, to smirk and ask, "Go to who?" But he's tired of running from the truth.

 

He's tired of running, full stop. He just wants to sleep.

 

Keith takes a deep breath, and swallows the snarky remark dancing on his tongue. Instead, he simply sighs. "I can't, Shiro."

 

Shiro looked around, and Keith watched Shiro's Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed.

"You love him." Shiro said simply, as if it were plain for everyone to see.

 

Keith stayed quiet and stared at his feet. It felt as if the whole world was caving in on him.

 

Shiro sighed. "You love him." He repeated, more insistent than the last. 

"I'm ashamed." Keith admitted, words sounding clipped and tired. Where was the fearless boy that he was in his fantasies?

 

Shiro looked back at Adam, who was talking with Allura and cracked a smile. "Ashamed? Of loving someone?" He said incredulously.

 

There was something more that Shiro wanted to say, a truth he was tempted to unveil. There was words that sat at the very tip of his tongue that he willed to use like a gun. But as the wind and tide roll away, his words fall back. Life lessons he will need to save for another day.

 

"We go back into space in two months." Was all that Shiro said, turning to walk away. "You need to fix what you have with Lance. For the good of our universe."

 

It was a veiled threat, a direct command plain as day. If Keith and Lance didn't repair their fractured relationship, it is possible that they would never be able to form Voltron again.

 

Keith sighed as Shiro walked off. If he was just a boy, and Lance was just a boy, what would he do? 

Keith would smile as Lance danced some ridiculously foolish but complex dance to impress Romelle and her friends. He would watch as Lance dragged him onto the dance floor.

 

But it's the final chorus of the final song, on what feels like the final night of all nights. 

And Keith is not just a boy, he's a warrior. And Lance is not just a boy, he's a paladin. They have engagements bigger than themselves. They have a role in a war larger than life.

 

Keith doesn't move.

He doesn't move as the lyricist starts singing, and he doesn't move when Lance stares right at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you very much for reading this. as always, kudos and comments are heavily appreciated.  
> whilst tumblr is dying at an incredibly rapid rate, if you enjoyed this story and would care to drop me a dm, you can find me at alienselina.tumblr.com :)


	21. Starlit Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5,850. that's how many words this chapter is. this chapter is everything to me. for the final chapter, this story is everything. i poured my heart out, and i hope you enjoy.
> 
> in less than 12 hours, the very end of voltron is near. i am with you all. i still feel hurt and baited and incredibly lied to. i was an optimist klancer for the last year of my life, and now i can feel my hope fading. no matter what happens tomorrow, we are in this together. even if klance does not become canon (which i am now accepting will probably happen), look what klance did.  
> we were the number one ship on tumblr 2 years in a row. klance is canon king. the new york times article.
> 
> it's canon. it's written in the stars. keith cradled lance in his arms. lance thinks keith is the future. sharp work, samurai. we had a bonding moment. no matter what antis say, they can never take these moments away from us. they are what give us hope. klance did this. they did this. the two of them. keith and lance no matter what. it has always been them. red and blue gays. they did all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i write as if i'm writing a movie. sometimes i imagine there's background music. i have it hyperlinked wherever i see fit, and it redirects you to a youtube link)
> 
> i should be posting this chapter in my room, where i wrote 99% of this story. or perhaps, in my classroom. where i scribbled down half-developed thoughts when i should have been paying attention in biology. instead, i am in the car on my laptop (which i brought to school and hauled around in my backpack just to post this) because i simply cannot wait anymore. the voltron spoilers are everywhere, and this is truly the end. thank you for joining me in giving keith and lance the story they deserved.
> 
> fact: "starlit skies" was the first ever fanfiction i ever finished. it has a very special place in my heart. you can find it on wattpad still, from the tender year of 2016.
> 
> thank you for joining me on this journey. writing this story was my distraction from the real world. this story saved me, and i hope dreamworks will save their show we all know and love.
> 
> see you on the other side.

**_Two months later._ **

Keith stands outside his desert shack as he watches the sun rise. Lance is coming back today from Cuba.

Keith tells himself it's better this way. He tells himself that time will heal this wound. No healing pod can repair the damage of years of minor aggressions that built up Keith's wall.

 

He still remembers the way people made him feel ashamed of loving another boy. That won't leave him for a very long time.

 

Keith watches as the sun rises high into the sky.

Keith hasn't seen Lance since the wedding, and his heart kind of aches at the thought of that.  Two days after the wedding, Keith rehearsed a long winded speech, spilling his guts out and preparing to tell Lance.

 

He couldn't be bothered to remember the contents of the incredibly melancholic and manic speech, but the main idea that resonated was that he couldn't apologize for his past. Sure, it was an awful stroke of misfortune that Keith was beaten almost every single day and terrorized just for being different, but it was a part of his history. A part of Keith's history that he had no choice but to wear proudly. When he found his way to Lance's living quarters, his mother instead opened the door.

Lance's mother looked equally mournful as she was excited to see Keith. She regretfully informed him that Lance took off after the wedding and went with Veronica to visit Cuba for the first time since he left.

 

Keith tried not to think much of it, so he spent the time doing awfully mundane tasks. He ran schematics for the new Castle of Lions, and tested out their new training facilities. They were leaving in a week.

 

Keith helped out around the Galaxy Garrison. Him and Shiro sat in on Adam's class. They were guest speakers who were tasked to talk about their experiences in space. And there was an incredibly mundane yet also enjoyable span of time where Keith was interviewed day in and day out about aliens, and what it was like to be part alien.

His life was back in session, in the strange way that left him with nothing to do. Life felt like it was starting over again, and as the summer days cooled down and more students came in for the new school year, Keith slowly found himself forgetting about Lance.

 

Keith tried not to beat the idea of Lance to a bloody pulp, since they were going to be back in space for an indefinite amount of time, but he made peace with himself and what Lance meant to him. He accepted that he may forever be chasing Lance, but their time of debauchery was up . Keith had irreparably hurt Lance, and all of his minor aggressions that he had never even seen coming had built an ocean too wide to cross, with Lance stranded on one side and Keith on another.

He accepted the fact that he loved Lance, but they were just not meant to be. His only regret was that he had nobody to talk to, with Shiro attending to duties more often than not and his mother back with the Blade of Marmora, effectively dismantling the Galra empire while they waited for Team Voltron to deliver the final blow.

Keith wished he could just sit down with Pidge or Allura or Hunk and spill his guts, but that wasn't what he was used to. Certainly, if Lance was in Keith's position, Lance would have come clean. That boy was never ashamed of anything.

 

But Lance was the one that ran away. He was the one that ran from everything, and it felt like the roles were strangely reversed between the two of them.

 

Keith hadn’t been up to much lately, mostly travelling the world and blowing all his money that endorsement agencies gave him. Walking into dingy bars and exploring cities he only imagined. He went to all the places he dreamed of as a kid, yet he still wished that Lance was at his side.

He flew back from [ Paris ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIUQeSOFm0M)just a week before, simply because he could. Keith wasn’t a technological aficionado and didn’t have to attend to the Castle of Lions like Hunk and Pidge needed to. Even if Lance barely even left the country, Keith saw Lance everywhere. He saw Lance in every single corner store and in the way the rain splattered onto the cobblestone walkways.

Keith didn’t know if he would be able to look Lance in the eye again, but they had to make peace with each other if just for the sake of the team.

They were getting a private charter to the Galaxy Garrison landing strip. Keith saw a bright orange jet zip through the air, eyeing the glistening Garrison logo on the wing as it made it’s descent. Keith zipped up his jacket and walked off into the desert.

* * *

 

Pidge laughed a little too loudly when Lance landed and got off the plane. Two whole months of bright Cuban sun and Atlantic sea salt left Lance’s skin tan and freckled, with soft beachy waves tousled upon his head.

 

“You forget sunscreen existed?” Pidge teased, as Lance gave her a warm hug. Lance tried not to think about Keith, about how they first made awkward freshman eye contact here. Keith, holding an oversized box and Lance way too short for his age.

Lance rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to soak up some sunlight before we get sent into the cold depths of space and march off to our death.” He replied morosely.

Pidge’s spirit faltered, but Hunk came to the rescue and enveloped Lance in a great big hug. He was caked in motor oil as the finishing touches on the Castle of Lions were being put into place. “Hey, Lance!” He said enthusiastically.

Lance chuckled in greeting and watched as Shiro, Coran, Romelle, and Allura walked to the entrance where they were hanging out to join the welcome party.

 

Lance tried not to think too much about where Keith was. Or where he was meant to be. But his brain was always thinking of Keith, and it was bursting at the seams being back in their vicinity.

“Where’s Keith?” Lance breathed out, eyes darting around rapidly.

Shiro looked at Lance and spoke in a nonplussed manner, while his other teammates seemed undisturbed. “I don’t know, Lance.” Shiro said with a shrug. “Check in his shack?” Shiro offered, trying to look confused and slightly knowledgeable.

Shiro didn’t exactly know what was going on between Keith and Lance. Lance left as soon as the wedding ended, and Keith never stopped asking what was the date and time Lance was coming back to the Galaxy Garrison. When Shiro informed Keith that Lance was coming back a week before their departure into space, he could feel Keith’s spirit plummet.

 

Lance smiled as he playfully shrugged off Pidge who was clinging onto his arm. “Thanks, Shiro. I really need to talk to Keith.”

Before Lance turned away, he caught sight of Shiro’s face once more. There it was again, that look on Shiro’s face that made it seem like figuring out the mysteries of Lance and Keith would be something Shiro would never be able to solve, nor have the time for.

 

Lance didn’t know where he was walking, other than the general direction. He had only been in the vicinity of Keith’s desert shack twice. The first time, at the very beginning of their whirlwind Voltron escapade. The second, at the very beginning of this summer. At the very end of their whirlwind Voltron escapade. For now.

It seems that Lance only visits Keith’s desert shack when something starts, or when something ends. He can’t tell whether something is starting or ending this time around.

* * *

 

When Lance walked over the hill and reached Keith’s desert shack, the sun lit up the horizon in a low halo of gold, streaking the heavens with amber and rose coloured light. No matter how many places Lance would venture, and no matter how many planets and people he would save, the sunsets on Earth would forever be the most wonderful sight in the universe.

There was no light in the shack, and it looked old and dusty. It was certainly from the wear and tear of the desert, because Keith’s hoverbike was cleaner and more pristine than Lance had ever seen it. As he swiped his hand across the side of the bike, he realised that the polish was barely dry.

Keith couldn’t have gone far, but Lance didn’t have any real idea where Keith could have gone. Lance worked so hard to get into the Garrison, but he never had any time  to appreciate the campus whilst he was still studying at it. He was always either in his classroom or locked away in his dormitory.

Lance barely remembers Keith coming in for classes most days.

 

Without rhyme or reason, Lance continues to walk along the desert slowly until he reaches a path. He follows that winding path into the streets of Plaht city, and strolls down the sidewalks as he loops around and follows the trail to the Garrison.

By the time Lance is leaving Plaht city, he’s exhausted. He was walking at a leisurely pace, but his mind had been racing with what he would say to Keith. He hadn’t gotten his words in order, but all he knew was that he had to see Keith. There was no other way to describe what was a guttural, wrenching desire that emerged from the pits of his soul. He had to see Keith. Lance had to see Keith, because he needed to believe that he was _real_.

 

That above all, in this crazy world, Keith was still real. Keith was still Keith, and Lance was still Lance.

He had been lounging on a beach for the better half of two months, so Lance was safely not in the best of shape. Maybe he should just take the bus instead.

 

That was when Lance sees Keith.

 

Keith looks different now, hunched over in the harsh bus stop light, as a rain begins to coat the arid desert. His hair was longer, and his face looked leaner. Keith looked meaner and rougher than Lance last remembered him. Keith had ditched his cropped red firefighter-esque jacket for a rugged leather one, with dusty biking goggles planted firmly on his head. It reminded Lance of the welding goggles that Hunk sometimes wore. He had his old motorcycle helmet -- not the Paladins of Voltron one -- tucked under one of his arms, while his other arm tapped away at an old cellphone. Keith had music playing loudly through the headphones.

Keith was living proof that someone can grow into completely different skin in just two months.

 

Above all, Keith looks beautiful.

 

Lance walks over to Keith.

 

And Keith freezes.

Lance looks different now, painted golden by the now set sun, but moonlight shining crisply over his features. The rain patters down on all sides of the bus stop. Lance’s hair looked windswept and curly. His skin was darker, the colour of rich coffee and eyes bluer than the ocean.

 

Lance is beautiful.

 

Keith stands up and rips the headphone out of his ear. The [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUuhnehs474) that he was listening to blares loudly from the headphones.

“Hi.” Keith thinks, and it’s so eternally lame. He doesn’t know what else to say. There is a world between them, a world they would rather leave behind.

In this moment, Keith is sure that he would drop everything for this drop-dead gorgeous boy.

Lance gulps. They’re about the same height now, and Lance isn’t sure who out of the two of them grew. “Hey.” He said, staring at his feet.

 

Keith kisses Lance.

 

It’s abrupt and sudden and _fucking thrilling_ , but it’s also slow and tastes like _sorry_ and _goodbye_ and a million things Keith can’t say with his mouth but he _can_ say with his lips.

Lance smiles sadly and strokes Keith’s cheek. _He understands_.

Lance understands. He understands that they might be subject to a Galran ambush in one week time. He understands that Keith might get called away on a Blade of Marmora mission. He understands that Keith and him might have to split apart again. Something about this kiss makes it feel like the last.

Lance understands that if they were just boys, they would have sat on the bus stop bench and sorted things out. They would have talked for hours. But time is a luxury saviours do not have. They just. Do not. Have the time. Their kisses say it all.

 

“Are we okay?” Lance whispers, as he looks in the eyes of the boy he loves. Of the boy broken by war. A war in his heart, and a war far away.

Keith closed his eyes and nodded. “Yes. We will be. One day.” Keith said, closing his eyes and reaffirming the statement ten times over. Keith repeats it so many times it loses his meaning. Keith says it over and over as he presses his temple up against Lance’s. He says it like a prayer.

After that, they walk home in the rain in silence. Sometimes they hold hands, other time they feel miles away. Both of them know the truth.

 

They’re doomed. Romeo-and-Romeo style.

* * *

 

**_One week later._ **

 

Keith and Lance—they’re falling in love in reverse.

All the first dates begin that week. Sitting in a coffee shop, discussing the universe.

Watching a movie together, as Lance finally fulfils his lifelong dream of yawning, stretching his arms back, and wrapping his arm around Keith.

Keith and Lance wander into a used book shop. They get lost poring over the pages of the relic comic books, pages dog-eared and underlined and notes written in the margins.

 

One day, after their picnic in the park, Keith laughs.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asks, looking at Keith fondly.

Keith smiles and shakes his head. “We’re acting like we’re a new couple in _fifty first dates_ , when we’ve already done all the couple stuff.” He said with a crooked grin.

Lance sighs and holds Keith’s hand. “Yeah. I think the protocol is usually that you don’t try and kidnap your future boyfriend’s brother from an alien invasion the first time you meet.” He said with a smile and a chuckle. Keith tried not to think of the word _boyfriend_ screaming in his mind.

“Or get stuck in an elevator half-naked on the way to an alien pool.” Keith added, with a soft nostalgic grin. He couldn’t help but ache for the past. When the days were long and the tasks were simpler.

“Or come out of a coma to save your boyfriend’s life, only to be cradled in his arms later.” Lance said quickly, spitting out the words in a haste.

Lance expected Keith to be ecstatic, for his eyebrows to shoot up and his mouth to drop in an awe astounding _ah-ha_! moment.

Instead, Keith leans into the crook of Lance’s neck. “You remember the bonding moment.” Keith whispered softly.

Lance nodded. It was early September, and the leaves on the trees were already browning. “I never forgot.”

They haven’t kissed since they met at the bus stop, but this moment felt more intimate than any kiss they could ever share.

 

Before they know it,  Friday approaches. This time tomorrow they would already be in the Thayserix sector. Keith and Lance find themselves across from each other at a candlelit dinner.

Keith blushed. “You didn’t have to do this.” He tells Lance for the tenth time already.

Lance smiled and shook his head. “I just wanted to make up for the lost time.” He said simply.

“It’s my fault.” Keith admitted, eyes downcast.

Lance thought it over as he chewed on his pasta. “It’s not your fault that you were bullied.”

Keith shrugged. “Maybe it was my fault. I got harassed every day. I ate alone because I was too scared to let people in.”

Lance shook his head. “You’re not eating alone now, are you?”

* * *

 

At the end of their dinner, they walk back to the campus. It’s golden on the soccer pitch at the Garrison. Every Garrison graduate knows the fastest way to get in and out of the campus was through the soccer pitch, which was why it was always lit up. But as Keith and Lance entered the Garrison, they saw an abundance of fairy lights. They twinkled like the stars.

All of Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro’s family smiled as they raised their glasses. Adam cheered too, along with James Griffin and the other Garrison cadets. Keith even saw Krolia in the midst. “Surprise!” They cheered, even though the two of them could hear the music from acres away.

 

At an instinct, Keith and Lance moved away from each other. It would raise too many questions if they were seen together alone, at the very least.

Luckily, Romelle’s voice appeared from behind them, as well as Coran and Allura’s. “This is too kind!” They gushed, as they looked at the small spread of food and the band that swelled with music.

 

This was it. This was their going away party. Not their homecoming, not their sushi restaurant welcome-back dinner. This was their picnic under the stars goodbye. This was their final hurrah, before they go back to work at dawn.

 

Keith and Lance yelled _surprise!_ to the other members of Voltron. Pidge’s dog licked her face while Hunk gave two of his nieces a piggyback ride. Shiro wrapped Adam in a hug.

Lance wished he could wrap Keith in a hug like Shiro did with Adam, but he understood. Some distance just might be what they need.

 

_“Are we okay?”_

_“Yes. We will be. One day.”_

 

The words echoed in Lance’s mind, as he watched Keith laugh with Romelle.

It’s deja vu, but the world is flipped upside down for the better.

 

Lance and Keith dine and drink and laugh and dance until their hearts are full. Lance talks with Allura, but the flirtation is long gone. It’s all pleasantries and politeness.

With most of the war against the Galra behind them, Lance knows that Allura’s main priority will be to rebuild the Altean empire and bring it back to their former glory, with Romelle at her side and Coran as her royal consort.

 

In this moment, Lance is a prophet and he sees the future.

 

He sees Allura and Romelle, and Lance aches for the past. Allura needs her people like her peopleneed her, and her alliances have already shifted. She no longer belongs to just Voltron. She will grow into her own, and there will be no prince.

In time she will grow into her position as interim queen of the New Alliance, and stay in that position for life.

Lance sees Allura with long hair braided back, and a crown of shining glass. Allura in pink, Romelle in blue. A crown of silver for Romelle. A future for the both of them.

 

Lance sees Pidge, wise beyond her years. He sees her with the Olkarion with short, wavy hair. He sees her technological expertise all over the universe. He sees Pidge’s unique way of coding twist and tangle their way into every new and old civilisation. Thousands of years into the future, a framework for a medical program Pidge had begun will finally be completed. Her knowledge will save the universe before she knows it. She is history in the making.

 

Lance sees Hunk, and he is a saviour of the broken and the masses. He sees Hunk splitting off, and he revives the entire Balmeran sector. The world thrives, and he saves everyone. His kindness spills, and there are no borders to his goodness. He does not only ensure that the people he saves will survive, but Hunk makes sure they _live_. Hunk will spend the better half of his adulthood telling stories to children and making them smile with his cheesy jokes. He will make sure that the legend of Voltron lives on forever. He makes sure to cook good food and tell good stories. He makes sure that there is life wherever he goes.

 

Lance sees Shiro, and he sees Adam. Shiro will never again leave Adam’s side. They spend their time looking for the most beautiful planets to explore. They skydive and kiss in zero-gravity and they race in the Voltron lions. They do everything they could have never done whilst Shiro was sick, _and then some_. Shiro and Adam grow old, and they live on a star the size of a house, and it’s green forever and the air smells like roses and new hope. They raise animals and own a ship that goes faster than the speed of light. They’re dual citizens—they spend half the time on their own private star and the other half of the time exploring Shiro’s quiet neighbourhood in Kyoto. Shiro never again rises to the spotlight. Never again will he save another life by putting his own in danger. He has worked too hard, he has earned every right for his life to be nothing but soft peace before his quiet and peaceful passing.

Lance sees them all. He sees Rolo and Nyma. They run into each other on an unassuming moon two years down the road, and Nyma gives them dried fruit. Rolo gives them advice.

He sees Krolia. She might not make it to the far end of this year, she might never see her son again. She spends the rest of her life with Kolivan rebuilding the Blade of Marmora once more. Keith will let her memory live on.

He sees Axca. She works with the Alteans and rebuilds the world. Keith will see Axca a long time into the future, and she looks just like his mother.

He sees Matt. He brings the resistance to Earth, and works with his father in educating the Earthling youth about extraterrestrial life. He still calls Pidge _Katie_ after all this time.

 

Lance sees Voltron. It has already made history. Now it’s time for the paladins to make history on their own.

 

Lance doesn’t see Keith. Keith is his present, his _right now_.

And right now, Keith is all he needs.

* * *

 

It’s the last few [ songs ](https://youtu.be/mTS0gTGfW94?t=31) of the night, and Lance’s gaze flits away at Keith.

 

They talked about the dance in whispers over the night. One dance meant nothing, especially when they had all of eternity to figure out what they were. The band announced there would be one more song after the penultimate, a upbeat yet soothing tambourine ballad. It made Lance’s insides feel warm and hopeful.

Lance watches as a handful of people, mostly young Garrison cadets crooning along to the melancholic ballad. It’s a fitting end to the night, as tears begin to shed and the final goodbyes are said. Only certified Garrison ground staff can supervise the Castle of Lion’s takeoff in the morning.

His mother walked over to him with a sad smile. Lance said his goodbyes to everyone, all but one. She envelopes him in a warm hug. “ _Mi amor_.” She said softly. There were no more words to say, just the promise that Lance would be back.

“I’ll be back.” He said softly. The world swirled around him as people laughed and sung to the music. It was the final hurrah of the night, the last uplifting memory that Lance would carry with him. This was the moment that he would save for the rest of eternity. He would hide this evening in his coat pocket and revisit it when he’s pinned against a battleship and facing mortal injury. He felt the pains of leaving before it even happened. Lance was just not ready to go. Not just yet.

 

The [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUuhnehs474) switched up, and Lance knew that this was the end.

 

Lance saw his mother smile from over his shoulder. Keith’s voice materialised out of thin air. “May I borrow your son for the last dance of the night?” Keith said, voice low and serious with a playful lilt. Lance didn’t miss the smirk growing on Keith’s face.

Lance’s mother looked at Keith, and then back at her son with a knowing smile. “Of course.” She said, taking a step backwards and walking into the crowd of people.

A hush fell over the room as Keith took Lance’s hand and they walked to the dance floor, a clearing in the centre of their venue. They were still dressed more posh than normal from their romantic candlelit dinner, and as they moved to the centre of the dance floor, the world faded around them.

 

It was just Lance and Keith, and all of time.

 

Keith blushed, as he dipped his head lower. Pidge nudged Hunk, as they stared at the duo with a familiar sense of surprise. Shiro nudged Adam, as they danced in time to the music as well. Allura looked at Lance proudly, and a warmth filled her insides.

Dancing was a process, Keith put his hands on Lance’s waist, and Lance’s hands on Keith’s shoulders. The song was so slow, they just had to sway in time to the beat. It wasn’t terrifying and complex, like the last time they danced. The only problem that they faced now was how to stomach the attention they were recieving.

 

“Do you see the stars?” Lance said, trying to take Keith’s mind off of the staring eyes.

Keith nodded and bit his lip. “Starlit skies. They’ve always given us purpose.” He said, words coming out strained.

“Are you okay?” Lance whispered, as Keith’s reddish blush deepened.

Keith stifled a smile. Lance felt the nerves radiating off of him. “Just a little scared.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I bet you weren’t scared when you tried flying in front of that planet to save Voltron, even if it meant that you’d die.”

Keith let out a soft chuckle. “That stuff is easy. It just comes naturally. Instinct, y’know?”

Lance nodded, as he stared in the delicate purple of Keith’s eyes. “You’re brave. And selfless. And kind.” He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “That, Keith Kogane, is why I love you.”

Keith gulped. The last time those words were spoken, they were angry and filled with tears. He didn’t have the stomach to say it back.

 

Instead, he kissed Lance.

 

And the hush fell over the room and thickened the air. But the music never stopped, and time kept on going. Life wasn’t over, it was just beginning.

Lance smiled. “You’re not very good with words, are you?”

Keith smiled, the sadness a cruel aftertaste. “I prefer actions over words.”

* * *

 

“There’s WiFi, two consoles and a flat screen TV, a fully functional vending machine and hydrofarm, including a pantry worth two years of non-perishable goods!” Pidge finished with a flourish, as the tour of the upgraded Castle of Lions concluded.

 

“Wow, Pidge. It seems like you’ve thought of everything.” Adam said, astounded.

Pidge shrugged, a sly grin gleaming against her skin. “If I knew you would be joining us Adam, I would have designed Shiro’s room big enough to comfortably fit a king sized bed.”

Shiro laughed, as the rest of the team chimed in. “The double bed is more than enough space for the two of us.” Adam said with a smile, wrapping his arms around his husband.

Keith laughed, and Lance thought it was the most melodic sound in the world. He wouldn’t trade it for even the most enchanting song of the sea.

Allura looked at the duo, and smiled. “I think you should have designed two king-sized rooms.” She quipped, tilting her head in Keith and Lance’s direction.

The rest of the team chuckled, as Keith and Lance looked down at their feet bashfully. Both of them were still not used to being so out in the open like they were now.

 

The castle was almost identical, down to the smell of their sheets. But there were little things that Pidge had upgraded, things that the paladins complained the castle had lacked all throughout their journey.

It feels like the ghost of home, as if all the soul and spirit and wit that truly made the Castle of Lions feel like safety. It was the Castle of Lions 2.0, and all of the paladins couldn’t help but feel the aching loss at what used to be there before.

 

They load in trolleys of Earthly belongings and clothing, all the things that they had lost. It didn’t feel like an ancient Altean castle as much as it was a modernized Earth ship. It felt like home, but only because they were told it was.

Keith stood next to Lance. They didn’t stare at each other as the rest of the team got into position for takeoff, but their hands brushed together. The simplest touch a gentle reminder that they were there, and they weren’t going anywhere.

 

The rest of the team didn’t have much time to truly comprehend their relationship. All they knew was that Keith made Lance happy and Lance made Keith happy, and that was more than they could have asked for.

 

Coran joined Allura at the helm of the ship, as the engine rumbled to life. Keith felt that familiar stir in his stomach, the same one that he felt when he first was drawn to the Blue Lion’s energy.

Adam planted a kiss on Shiro’s cheek, and Pidge sucked in a breath. Hunk clenched his fists and looked down at the ground. He might not make it if he stared out the window.

They ascended higher and higher into the air, as Lance wrapped his arm around Keith’s waist.

As he saw Keith’s sad eyes saying goodbye to their home planet one more time, Lance saw the future.

 

Keith and Lance haven’t made peace with their past just yet. There was an ocean to cross, but each day they get closer to land.

 

They’re older, and they’re still together. They’re in their late thirties, and have made two trips back to Earth since the last time they left. Keith’s hair is buzzed short, and Lance’s scars are quickly growing. Keith kisses every single one.

They spend their time running missions with the Blade of Marmora and signing autographs in the strangest of places. But right in the moment Lance sees, fifteen years in the future, both of them are in the Red lion.

Keith wears a cobalt-and-sapphire coloured ring. _For the blue lion._ Lance wears a rose-gold and ruby coloured ring. _For Keith’s fire, his flame._

Keith looks at his fiancee, and he can’t believe Lance managed to muster up the courage to propose to him just last night.

 

But before that, just two years after this moment, Keith will see Lance bathed in the light of the setting sun, on a diplomat mission in the Arusian sector. His hair is just under his ear, and Lance is wearing a hastily made flower-crown of forget-me-nots. Lance waves to Keith, and the flowers smell sweet. This was a mission they voluntarily decided to do together. Before Voltron disbands permanently, and the paladins make their own destinies a reality.

Keith can let go of his past, and everything it stands for in that moment.

 

But as they ascend higher and higher into the sky, watching as the small Garrison campus becomes almost obsolete, Keith knows that he can’t let go just yet. He will, in time.

 

Lance sees the future, still.

He sees Keith across the hall from him not a month later. His screams wake Lance up, and he’s surprised that nobody else woke up. Lance walks over to Keith’s room and Keith doesn’t throw a pillow at him. He looks at Lance and his screams still echo. Lance wordlessly climbs into bed with Keith and smiles softly. They’ve known each other for not long at all, and the ice-cold walls are beginning to thaw.

 

They share a bed from that point on for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes, Keith can hear Lance screaming Keith’s name. He soothes Lance by kissing every single one of his freckles, whispering promises that he knows they can never fulfil. They talk about the future and the universe and coincidence. They talk about starlit skies and a hundred ways you could have taken the 1127 train to London, instead they ended up back in space. They talk and talk and talk, and only then do the kisses become deeper and the _I love you’s_ become truer. Only with the sound of the castle engine whirring do their hands roam lower and deeper and their love becomes truer. Only then, Keith and Lance can no longer keep their hands to themselves. And there is no regret or embarrassment. Only light and love, and they hope it will be for the rest of their lives.

 

As they see the entirety of the American continent, Keith holds back tears. Lance feels tears streaming down his face, but he still sees the future.

 

He sees Keith and Lance, a week from now. They got ambushed by insurgents and Keith has a cut on his lip that won’t stop bleeding. The mission isn’t over yet, and the healing pods are all the way back on the Castle. Lance can’t stop crying, but Keith just flashes Lance his same old crooked grin, even if the blood keeps flowing.

_“Stop crying.” Keith teases, even if he can feel the alien bacteria seeping into his wounds. His eyes begin to water as well, but mostly because he thinks that he broke a rib._

 

_Lance chuckled and blinked back tears. “Don’t die on me, dumbass.” He said with a smile._

 

_Keith felt himself get weaker. He was already wrapped in Lance’s arms. They just needed to hold post until Pidge got what she needed. “They’ve got healing pods… and they’ve got… they’ve…” He trailed off._

 

_Lance smiled as he kept crying. Was he really on Earth just a week ago? “Keith, I need you.” He says, as Keith begins to lose consciousness._

 

_“I need you too, dumbass.”_

 

_Keith will be just fine._

 

Lance sees him and Keith tomorrow, as they veer a left and Earth is gone from sight. He feels the immense pain of loss right away. Their planet, gone from sight just like that.

 

He sees them lounging on the couch, cuddling at almost every moment they can simply because _they can_. They make up for lost time as Lance plays with Keith’s hair. Allura teases them, but it just makes them snuggle closer to each other under the great big wool blanket that Hunk smuggled through quarantine.

“Love you.” Lance mumbled.

A half asleep Keith looked up at Lance’s eyes one last time, before drifting off to sleep. “Love you too.”

 

Lance sees him and Keith now. Keith plants a kiss on his cheek. They weren’t perfect. They weren’t okay, but they will be. They’ll be just fine, and Lance thinks he knows why.

 

He doesn't just think that Keith is like, the future.

Lance _knows_  that Keith is like, the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end.
> 
> coming out/coming to terms with you sexual orientation is a universal feeling. at the very heart of these two boys is a story so transcendent coming out is a universal experience. there is no "right" way to do it, but i hope i illustrated all feelings of coming out to yourself. crushes, kisses, and coming out. i hope upon everything in the world you enjoyed this story.
> 
> i would like to thank voltron. fanfiction writers everywhere. fanfiction writers are the goddamn future. brendon and matty, for being my musical companions. lofi artists, thank you! your music does wonders for my writer blocked brain. thank you to my teachers for not reading my messy scrawl of keith and lance first kisses when i was supposed to be doing algebra. thank you to the commenters. you bridge the gap between the reader and the writer. commenters, you are my light.  
> thank you x100 to everyone who read this, whether you commented or kudos-ed or stayed silent, i see you! one giant lance-faced flag to all of you.
> 
>  
> 
> tomorrow i will be livetweeting everything on my twitter @prophetdjh. my tumblr is 130peach. feel free to dm me there and scream. i'll be sure to answer any questions that were left unanswered :)
> 
> the final month of 20gayteen is upon us. the final season. let's walk into this final season with an open heart. if klance kicks or not, i will love that ship for the rest of my life. see you on the other side. 
> 
> thank you for reading. thank you for letting me give keith and lance the story they deserved. <3
> 
> all my heart and soul,  
> -selina


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